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Napoleon, had he been around in our times, would have been amused upon discovering the high level of influence he exerts over the residents of Plumsville. Much like a spiritual sun which shines with equal benevolence on all, his leadership traits and planning skills provide inspiration to almost all the characters we come across in the narratives dished out by Plum. Even in defeat and disorderly retreat, he does not fail to provide succour to a tormented soul. His soft power extends to a wide variety of situations and continues to enthuse many amongst us.

When it comes to handling a difficult task, Napoleon provides the inspiration. With him around, failure is not an option. When irate nerve specialists have to be confronted, his skills in planning wars come in handy.

Members of the so-called sterner sex shudder at the prospect of being expected to carve out a Napoleonic career for themselves so as to earn the respect of the delicately nurtured in their lives. Overbearing sisters get labelled as persons who could dominate even the likes of Napoleon.

When a goofy plan is laid bare, it gets listened to with the same reverence with which Napoleon was heard by his humble adherents.  When impelled by a youthful and hypnotic Napoleon, one meekly accepts a course of action which one does not really approve of oneself.

A confident and resourceful person often commands the reluctant respect of a woman, much like Napoleon would. The latter’s trait of going for the enemy’s weak point comes in for praise. When it comes to imperious gestures, Napoleon even gets compared to Henry VIII.

Should one have suffered a crushing defeat in an enterprise, mere mention of what Napoleon suffered at Moscow soothes the soul.

Here are some quotes which demonstrate the power that Napoleon exerts in various narratives of Plum.

Napoleon inspires Bingo Little

If Bingo Little has to save his job at Wee Tots, he has to attend a luncheonEggsBeansAndCrumpets being hosted by Bella Mae. The challenge he faces in doing so is to convince Mrs. Bingo to celebrate their wedding anniversary by having a dinner together, instead of a lunch.

“And then, after he had been sitting for a goodish time with his head in his hands, exercising every cell in his brain to its utmost capacity, he received an inspiration and saw what Napoleon would have done. A moment later, he was on the telephone, with Mrs. Bingo’s silvery voice are-you-there-ing at the other end. 

“Hullo, darling,” he said. 

“Hullo, angel,” said Mrs. Bingo. 

“Hullo, precious,” said Bingo. 

“Hullo, sweetie-pie,” said Mrs. Bingo. 

“I say, moon of my delight,” said Bingo, “listen. A rather awkward thing has happened, and I should like your advice as to how to act for the best. There’s a most important litterateuse we are anxious to land for the old sheet, and the question has arisen of my taking her out to lunch to-day.” 

“Oh, Bingo!” 

“Now, my personal inclination is to tell her to go to blazes.” 

“Oh, no, you mustn’t do that.” 

“Yes, I think I will. ‘Nuts to you, litterateuse? I shall say.” 

“No, Bingo, please! Of course you must take her to lunch.” 

“But how about our binge?” 

“We can have dinner instead.”

 “Dinner?”

 “Yes.”

 Bingo allowed himself to be persuaded. “Now, that’s an idea,” he said. “There, I rather think, you’ve got something.”

 “Dinner will be just as good.””

[The Editor Regrets (Eggs, Beans and Crumpets)]

 

Napoleon sets the bar for a difficult task

Aunt Julia expects Ukridge to ingratiate himself with a tycoon of the jute industry and land a job, thereby doing something useful and ceasing to be what she calls a wastrel and an idler.

“‘Idler! I’ll trouble you! As if for a single day in my life, Corky, I have ever not buzzed about doing the work of ten men. Why, take the mere getting of that couple of quid from old Tuppy, for instance.

 ‘Simple as it sounds, I doubt if Napoleon could have done it. Tuppy, sterling fellow though he is, has his bad mornings. He comes down to the office and finds a sharp note from the President of Uruguay or someone on his desk, and it curdles the milk of human kindness within him. On these occasions he becomes so tight that he could carry an armful of eels up five flights of stairs and not drop one. And yet in less than a quarter of an hour I had got a couple of quid out of him.’

 ‘Oh, well, women say these things.”

 [Ukridge and the Old Stepper (Eggs, Beans and Crumpets)]

 

When failure is not an option

Reginald Mulliner is bucked up after his sterling performance at the villageAFewQuickOnes concert and is intent upon giving a piece of his mind to Sir Jasper Todd, the financier. He proceeds to Wissel Hall.

‘When Reginald reached the massive front door, the fact that repeated ringing of the bell produced no response suggested that the domestic staff had been given the night off to attend the concert. But he was convinced that the man he sought was somewhere inside, and as he had now thought of five more names to call him, bringing the total to eleven, he had no intention of being foiled by a closed front door. As Napoleon would have done in his place, he hunted around till he had found a ladder.

Bringing this back and propping it up against the balcony of one of the rooms on the first floor, he climbed up. He had now thought of a twelfth name, and it was the best of the lot.’

(A Few Quick Ones)

 

A singular absence of nerves of chilled steel

 A nerve specialist like Sir Roderick Glossop can hardly help taking a ratherThe Inimitable Jeeves 1st edition (1923) image courtesy of wikipedia warped view of humanity. It stands to reason that when Aunt Agatha plays a match-maker for his daughter Honoria, he wishes to check the Pumpkin Quotient of Bertie Wooster, the groom-to-be. Some cats in Bertie’s bedroom, a stolen hat and nerves of a weaker version of steel ensure that the fixture is scratched.

‘I say! This isn’t my hat!’

‘It is my hat!’ said Sir Roderick in about the coldest, nastiest voice I’d ever heard. ‘The hat which was stolen from me this morning as I drove in my car.’

 ‘But-’

 I suppose Napoleon or somebody like that would have been equal to the situation, but I’m bound to say it was too much for me. I just stood there goggling in a sort of coma, while the old boy lifted the hat off me and turned to Jeeves.

 ‘I should be glad, my man,’ he said, ‘if you would accompany me a few yards down the street. I wish to ask you some questions.’

 ‘Very good, sir.’

[Sir Roderick Comes to Lunch (The Inimitable Jeeves)]

 

The challenge of carving out a career

Eustace entices Bertie to visit Twing Hall, where, upon arrival, he runs into Cynthia.

‘Oh, hallo, old thing,’ I said.

Great pals we’ve always been. In fact, there was a time when I had an idea I was in love with Cynthia. However, it blew over. A dashed pretty and lively and attractive girl, mind you, but full of ideals and all that. I may be wronging her, but I have an idea that she’s the sort of girl who would want a fellow to carve out a career and what not. I know I’ve heard her speak favourably of Napoleon. So what with one thing and another the jolly old frenzy sort of petered out, and now we’re just pals. I think she’s a topper, and she thinks me next door to a loony, so everything’s nice and matey.

[The Great Sermon Handicap (The Inimitable Jeeves)]

 

Someone who could dominate even Napoleon

“Precisely as stated Lady Constance was in the amber drawing-room, APelicanAtBlandingssipping sherry and looking as formidable and handsome as ever. 

All Lord Emsworth’s sisters were constructed on the lines of the severer type of Greek goddess, except Hermione, who looked like a cook, and Connie in particular was remarkable for aristocratic hauteur and forcefulness of eye. One felt immediately on seeing her that there stood the daughter of a hundred earls, just as when confronted with Lord Emsworth one had the impression that one had encountered the son of a hundred tramp cyclists. He was wearing at the moment patched flannel trousers, a ragged shirt, a shooting coat with holes in the elbows and bedroom slippers. These, of course, in addition to the apprehensive look always worn by him when entering this formidable woman’s presence. From childhood onward she had always dominated him, as she would have dominated Napoleon, Attila the Hun and an all-in wrestling champion.”

 (A Pelican at Blandings)

 

Plans which are listened to with reverence

When Dolly lays out her plans, these get listened to with reverence, thoughMoneyForNothing tinged with some doubt.

‘Don’t you worry, Soapy. I’ve got this thing well in hand. When we’ve gone, you jump to the ‘phone and get Chimp on the wire and tell him this guy and I are on our way over. Tell him I’m bringing the kayo drops and I’ll slip them to him as soon as I arrive. Tell him to be sure to have something to drink handy and to see that this bird gets a taste of it.’

‘I get you, pettie!’ Mr. Molloy’s manner was full of a sort of awe-struck reverence, like that of some humble adherent of Napoleon listening to his great leader outlining plans for a forthcoming campaign; but nevertheless it was tinged with doubt. He had always admired his wife’s broad, spacious outlook, but she was apt sometimes, he considered, in her fresh young enthusiasm, to overlook details.

(Money for Nothing)

 

Being impelled by a youthful hypnotic Napoleon

Plans to park Ogden somewhere safe get made all the time. Mr. PrettPiccadillyJim reluctantly agrees to fall in line with Ann’s fruity scheme, a scheme he himself does not approve of.

‘In the boyhood of nearly every man there is a single outstanding figure, someone youthful hypnotic Napoleon whose will was law and at whose bidding his better judgment curled up and died. In Mr. Pett’s life Ann’s father had filled this role. He had dominated Mr. Pett at an age when the mind is most malleable. And now—so true is it that though Time may blunt our boyish memories the traditions of boyhood live on in us and an emotional crisis will bring them to the surface as an explosion brings up the fish that lurk in the nethermost mud—it was as if he were facing the youthful Hammond Chester again and being irresistibly impelled to some course of which he entirely disapproved but which he knew that he was destined to undertake. He watched Ann as a trapped man might watch a ticking bomb, bracing himself for the explosion and knowing that he is helpless. She was Hammond Chester’s daughter, and she spoke to him with the voice of Hammond Chester. She was her father’s child and she was going to start something.’

(Piccadily Jim)

The reluctant respect that Napoleon commands

With his tall claims, Mr. Bulpitt earns the reluctant respect of Lady Abbott.

‘You and your science!’

‘All right, then, me and my science.’

There was hostility in Lady Abbott’s eyes, but also a certain reluctant respect, such as the Napoleon type always extorts from women.

‘Have you ever been beaten at this game, Sam?’

‘Once only,’ said Mr. Bulpitt, with modest pride.

(Summer Moonshine)

 

Going straight for the enemy’s weak point

Joe tells Jane that his stepmother has bought the entire rights to his successfulSummerMoonshine (1) play and plans to take it off stage so as to avoid getting sniggered at by her close friends for some inappropriate parts therein. He is therefore planning to leave for California. Jane realizes that the cold fury she felt against Joe could well have been a deeper affection. The character of his stepmother comes into focus.

“Jane was in no mood to share this detached, sportsmanlike attitude.

‘She’s a hellhound.’

‘But a Napoleonic one. Like Napoleon, she sees the enemy’s weak point and goes straight at it, crumpling him up and causing him to fly from the field in rout. You see me now about to fly from the field.’”

(Summer Moonshine)

When Napoleon competes with Henry VIII

When Princess Dwornitzchek discovers that her stepson is engaged to be married to a secretary, she loses no time in ticking off Sir Buckstone.

“The Princess Dwornitzchek turned to Sir Buckstone with a sweeping gesture.

‘So!’ she said.

There are very few men capable of remaining composed and tranquil when a woman is saying ‘So!’ at them, especially when a sweeping gesture accompanies the word. Napoleon could have done it, and Henry VIII, and probably Jenghiz Khan, but Sir Buckstone was not of their number. He collapsed abruptly into his chair, as if he had been struck by a thunderbolt.”

(Summer Moonshine)

Retreating in disorder

The search for the prized Lady in Blue has left Jerry feeling defeated. HePGW TheGirlInBlue confides in Jane who is ready to buzz off to London on some legal errand.

‘My New York lawyer has come over and wants to see me. He’s just telephoned. Something about my legacy, I suppose. I’ll be back this evening. But never mind that, I want to hear what happened. How did you get on?’

‘Not too well.’

‘I thought as much.’

It had not taken great perception to bring her to this conclusion. Even at a distance he would have struck her as being on the sombre side. To be obliged to retreat in disorder from a stricken battlefield always tends to lower the spirits. Napoleon, who had this experience at Moscow, made no secret of the fact that he did not enjoy it, and Jerry, going through the same sort of thing at Mellingham Hall, Mellingham-in-the-Vale, was definitely not at his perkiest.

(The Girl in Blue)

 

Squelching back from Moscow

A confrontation between Augustus and Rocket has led to the party falling intoPGW JeevesInTheOffing the lake at Brinkley Court.

‘Reaching the mainland some moments later and squelching back to the house, accompanied by Bobbie, like a couple of Napoleons squelching back from Moscow, we encountered Aunt Dahlia, who, wearing that hat of hers that looks like one of those baskets you carry fish in, was messing about in the herbaceous border by the tennis lawn. She gaped at us dumbly for perhaps five seconds, then uttered an ejaculation, far from suitable to mixed company, which she had no doubt picked up from fellow-Nimrods in her hunting days.’

(Jeeves in the Offing)

 

The Napoleonic Code and the Wooster Code

Napoleon, born on the 15th of August, 1769, was a great military and political reader. His lasting legal achievement, the Napoleonic Code, is said to have influenced the legal systems of more than 70 nations around the world. According to British historian Andrew Roberts, “concepts such as meritocracy, equality before the law, property rights, religious toleration, modern secular education, sound finances, and so on—were championed, consolidated, codified and geographically extended by Napoleon. To them he added a rational and efficient local administration, an end to rural banditry, the encouragement of science and the arts, the abolition of feudalism and the greatest codification of laws since the fall of the Roman Empire.”

Some of these are rather close to the key values we find covered in the Code of the Woosters. As discussed elsewhere in a series of posts, the C of the W is not only about standing by one’s pals through thick and thin. It is also about equality before, and respect for, the law. It is about one being a Preux Chevalier. The spirit of Noblesse Oblige. The capacity to tame a hippopotamus like Roderick Spode by teamwork. Of having a bulldog spirit. Of refusing to be a doormat. Of being aware of one’s Pumpkin Quotient. Of attempting a pitiless analysis of one’s own actions.

The only aspect of the Wooster Code which would have possibly met with Napoleon’s stern disapproval would be that of upholding the feudal spirit. Being the proponent of a democratic outlook on life, he might have taken a dim view of aunts endeavouring to influence the cause of justice by offering to trade-off their favourite chefs so as to avoid the prospect of their nephews serving thirty days without the option.

Of ‘Napoleon Complex’ and the contempt for intellectuals

Napoleon’s sense of humour is said to have been so limited that he demandedNapoleon that all court painters refrain from putting a smile on any of his portraits.  As luck would have it, other than Roderick Spode, there are not many characters in Plum’s works that could be said to suffer from a ‘Napoleon Complex.’

Quite a few of the delicately nurtured fail in their attempts to raise the Bertie Wooster’s level of intellect by making him read such profound works as ‘Types of Ethical Theory’. Bertie has this innate tendency of avoiding intellectual pursuits of any kind. It is quite likely that Napoleon, had he ever run into him, would have heartily approved of this trait of his. The great strategist is reported to have once said that “You don’t reason with intellectuals; you shoot them.

A French honour for Plum?!

Given his poor sense of humour, it would have surely surprised someone like Napoleon to hear from one of his humble adherents about the kind of influence he exercises upon the goings-on in Plumsville.

Discovering the manner in which his sterling qualities of head and heart have been showcased by Wodehouse in his numerous works, Napoleon might have even considered making our beloved Master Wordsmith an honorary Knight in the French Legion Of Honour!

(Related post: https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2014/11/16/de-codifying-the-code-of-the-woosters)

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In these troubled times, humour is an effective anti-dote to the kind of blues we face. Could there be anyone better than Plum to help us in keeping our sanity intact?

Honoria Plum's avatarPlumtopia

‘Haven’t you ever heard of Sister Lora Luella Stott?’

‘No. Who is she?’

‘She is the woman who is leading California out of the swamp of alcohol.’

‘Good God!’ I could tell by Eggy’s voice that he was interested. ‘Is there a swamp of alcohol in these parts? What an amazing country America is. Talk about every modern convenience. Do you mean you can simply go there and lap?’

Laughing Gas (1936)

We live in troubled times, eh what? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, that Evelyn Waugh chappie knew a thing or two when he said of Wodehouse: He will continue to release future generations from captivity that may be more irksome than our own.’ I would be failing in my duties as a modern commentator if I didn’t observe that the captivity is looking every bit as irksome as Waugh predicted, and getting…

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Here is a juicy post which provides excellent tips to come up with the next whodunit the authors amongst you might be planning to dish out to an unsuspecting populace.

Victoria Madden's avatarMoulders Lane

I recently found a series of fascinating interviews in The Paris Review, with half a century of famous writers discussing How They Wrote: a treasure trove of advice and inspiration for the aspiring author. The one that most struck a chord, though, was the interview with our beloved Plum in 1975 by Gerald Clarke.

Wodehouse returned to America in 1914, following earlier, brief visits – payment for his short stories being considerably more than that offered in England – and it was there that he found success in the musical comedies that would stylistically define the rest of his writing career. He’d first contributed a lyric to a London show in 1904, but his first substantial contribution, in 1914, had been a flop. Over in New York, Miss Springtime, his first outing with dream team Guy Bolton and Jerome Kern, was a success; a year later their musical

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We live in challenging times. But for residents of Plumsville (Plumtopians, as Honoria Glossop would label them), harsh slings and arrows of life have an effective antidote – the sunlit streets of Plumsville, lined on both the sides with trees which offer low-hanging fruits of delectable humour.

Relish this offering.

Pip pip!

Honoria Plum's avatarPlumtopia

I have reblogged a few Wodehouse pieces in Plumtopia, which I like to think of as a little haven for like-minded readers.  This week’s piece is an appetite-whetting encouragement to new readers from Zanyzigzag.

It’s also a great read for affirmed Plum lovers. Zanyzigzag’s piece has special significance for me as I prepare to leave for England in less than a fortnight. The seeds of this journey, and years of thinking and planning, have been strongly influenced by my love of Wodehouse. I especially loved hearing about Norman Murphy’s Wodehouse Walk, which is on my list of top 10 things to do when I arrive.

I have been criticised for expecting to find England as Wodehouse knew it. This is a ridiculous suggestion, although I’m secretly hoping the Shropshire Agricultural Show will offer a hint of Plumtopia. What I do expect England to offer – that is deplorably lacking in…

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In a world that is inhabited by Bertie Wooster, Jeeves, Aunt Agatha, Bingo Little, 23-odd cats and many other sterling characters, can laughter ever fade away?!

Allow me the pleasure of sharing yet another juicy piece from the stable of Plumtopia.

Honoria Plum's avatarPlumtopia

The Inimitable Jeeves 1st edition (1923) image courtesy of wikipedia The Inimitable Jeeves 1st edition (1923) image courtesy of wikipedia

I’m not much of a ladies’ man, but on this particular morning it seemed to me that what I really wanted was some charming girl to buzz up and ask me to save her from assassins or something. So that it was a bit of an anti-climax when I merely ran into young Bingo Little, looking perfectly foul in a crimson satin tie decorated with horseshoes.

The Inimitable Jeeves was one of the first Wodehouse books I ever read, and one I often  recommend  to new readers. It has been included in several serious lists of ‘classic books you must read’, but don’t let that put you off – it’s terrific! The Inimitable Jeeves is a great introduction to Wodehouse’s best known characters, Bertie Wooster and his valet (or gentleman’s gentleman) Jeeves. Although it’s not the first Jeeves story –…

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Waitresses and bar maids get a place of prominence in many of the Plum’s narratives. Here is Mabel who is one of the many who captivate the heart of Bingo Little for a brief period of time.

Honoria Plum's avatarPlumtopia

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Lyons_Corner_House_recreation,_Museum_of_London.JPG) Image adapted from original photograph by Kim Traynor

I confess I have a soft spot for the romantic Bingo Little. When we first meet him in The Inimitable Jeeves,  Bertie warns us about his habit of falling in love.

Ever since I have known him – and we were at school together – he has been perpetually falling in love with someone, generally in the spring, which seems to act on him like magic. At school he had the finest collection of actresses’ photographs of anyone of his time; and at Oxford his romantic nature was a byword.

The first of Bingo’s romances to be chronicled by Bertram Wooster involves a Mabel, a waitress in a tea-and-bun shop. Described by Bertie as ‘rather a pretty girl’, Mabel attracts the attention of both Bingo and Jeeves. At the end of the proceedings, she and Jeeves have ‘an understanding’.

We know very little…

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When it comes to romantic affairs, age is never a bar. One gets the courage to stand up to dominating sisters and obtrusive gardeners. Moss covered alleys get preferred over stony ones. Stiff collars get forgotten. The joy of providing nourishment to keep the body and soul of the beloved together reigns supreme.

 

Honoria Plum's avatarPlumtopia

BlandingsCastle The superb short story ‘Lord Emsworth and the Girlfriend’ was published in ‘Blandings Castle’

My heartfelt thanks to the inimitable Ken Clevenger for contributing a wonderful and very fitting first piece in this Valentine’s series dedicated to the  Great Wodehouse Romances.

* * *

Lord Emsworth and the Girl Friend

by Ken  Clevenger

Lord Emsworth and the Girl Friend” is the great Wodehousian romance, most worthy of a special Valentine. My starting point is the very nature of great romances. Love must blossom, however improbably. It will be heroic, idyllic, and set in the beauty of nature, but not without the odd nettle. In the end love conquers all, as someone once noted; Jeeves, perhaps?

The easy part is to recognize in this “perfect short story” that Blandings and its gardens are the bounty of nature. The nettle, perhaps I should have said thistle, as le mot juste, is…

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Netizens who have made the cardinal error of following me on any social network could be forgiven for imagining me as a dashing speaker, blogger and author.

Not a Jeeves in the realm of Management

Snapshots, videos and blog posts would inevitably depict me as a managementPGW MuchObligedJeeves expert dishing out sage advice with an impish sparkle in the eyes, often misconstrued as indicating supreme intelligence. Seasoned observers would notice a receding hairline and imagine me to be an intellectual cove. Perhaps a head bulging out at the back, much like that of Jeeves, would lead many amongst my followers to conclude that I would have minted millions by this time, squeezing the last penny out of some Bertie-like super rich but mentally negligible bosses I would have assisted in a long career.

Well, nothing could be further from the truth. Those who wish to dig deeper into the subject of who I am would be startled to find that the responsibility of depicting yours truly in such a flattering manner falls squarely on the illusory sophistication and the veneer of respectability a lesser mortal gets imbued with, when behind the façade of social media.Panjab_University

An error of judgement

Fondly known as ‘AKB’ to my friends and colleagues, I am a management graduate of what I would prefer to describe as the pre-Jurassic period of management education. Delhi University is to be squarely blamed for dishing out a post-graduate degree to me in Physics, way back in 1974. The University Business School at Panjab University, Chandigarh, also appears to have made a singular error of judgement in awarding me a MBA degree in 1976.

Professors who had the misfortune of educating me came in several sizes and shapes. The brilliant ones could never come to terms with the singular absence of common sense in my thought processes. The mediocre ones had no other option but to feel frustrated at not being able to detain me at any level of my educational ladder. The poor ones were so indifferent that I often landed up studying the subject myself, thereby gaining more interest in those subjects.

An expert at Mismanagement

If an expert in the field of management were to put my escapades under the microscope of academic rigour, she could be condoned for recommending my appointment as a Dean of a School of Mismanagement at an Ivy League institute of international repute.Tata logo

The fact remains that several top corporates in India and abroad have had to bear with my unique style of mismanagement for over thirty-five years. The ones which have suffered in particular are such companies as Tata International, Hidesign, and HCL.

My entrepreneurial endeavours in the realm of market research and HR have left many of my had-been-clients shaken but not stirred. A benevolent client once rued how happy his company had been if I had done my own market research better and if only they had not availed of my (dis)services.

A number of start-ups have seen me in the stellar role of a promoter-director. Records would show that many of these sank without a trace. I was blessed with a flair for visualizing lofty goals. I always attempted flawless planning and backed it up with miserable execution. My lack of attention to detail often left my customers exasperated.

From delegation to abdication

While in a career, I always followed the policy of focusing on the peripheralHIDESIGN_LOGO_withouttag targets, whereas my team members took care of the Key Result Areas. With me, the art of delegation often evolved into sheer abdication. Needless to say, companies were often happy to see me packing my bags and leaving.

My travels have taken me far and wide, but those who know me well are still not too sure if I have yet understood the work culture and ethics of different countries and continents.

I do believe I attract people with my positive vibrations, but I have played no role in the recent confirmation of the existence of gravitational waves by physicists. I might sound like a global manager, but have not been successful in cross-cultural validation of any of the management theories and concepts.

The perils of those who receive my services

Having hung my boots in the corporate world, I am now working with some NGOs in the field of Management and Spirituality. One can only wish these outfits well.

I am aware that I happen to be an active blogger whose tardy progress in the blogosphere is being watched with little interest by any of my occasional followers.

Yes, I am passionate about movies. Many movie directors are delighted at not having been approached by me with any script of a likely blockbuster. This way, their careers are not likely to go bust any time soon.

Of ‘Wodehousitis’ and ‘Professoritis’

I am happy to be suffering from “Wodehousitis” and “Professoritis” and do notHCL logo seek any cure for these ailments. A scholastic attitude and a habit of “keeping my saw sharpened” have made several University departments and educational institutes invite me for sporadic guest lectures, only to repent later.

CEO World in Portugal has recently made the mistake of making me an Editor-in-Chief of their blog site. Vida Economica of Portugal has even gone ahead and taken the risk of publishing a book of mine in Portuguese.

The corporate world heaves a sigh of relief to discover that my activities are now mostly confined to delivering inane talks at leading management institutes and unleashing pseudo-scholarly books and articles on the unsuspecting public. This ensures that they remain free to run their businesses the way they like, whereas I spend the rest of my days on this planet in a high-spirited state of bliss, doing what I love to do – reading, writing, listening to music, visiting exotic locales and generally pottering about in Norway, Switzerland and India.

The Association of Ineffective and Morose Managers

If ever your luck were to run out and you were to step out of your virtual world and get to meet me in person, and also have the misfortune of spending some time with me, I would not be surprised to receive a frantic call the very next day, pleading with me to immediately assume the position of the President of the Association of Ineffective and Morose Managers.

Wish you all a goofy April Fools’ Day!

(Related Post: https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2018/07/16/an-interaction-with-some-rotarians-at-pondicherry)

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Here is a juicy tribute to P G Wodehouse from a fan of his, Mahesh Verma. He is a banker by profession, a columnist by choice; a father of two lovely daughters and a husband to an amazing woman! Every alternate Wednesday, he writes a column known as ‘Trivial Travails’.PGWodehouse

“Albert Einstein probably didn’t realise that his theory of relativity did not really affect those who are not relatives and consequently tie the knot on T-1 from Valentine’s Day, and his theory of relative disappointment (“Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed”) also does not hold true for those brave ones who are not falling prey to the triskaidekaphobia – the morbid fear of the number 13!

So while M&M celebrated vanquishing the fear of that number in their exotic residence in The Hague, M&V celebrated overcoming that dreaded number 13 in their not-so-exotic residence in The Wave.

And as February 13th blended into the 14th, the Shakespearean fans reminded the non-believers: “Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love.”

So while the world celebrated what is popularly known as Valentine’s Day (a day dedicated to extortion, as per Jay Leno) a few of the dedicated bunch mourned the passing away of the Master, some 41 years ago. Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse, KBE born on October 15, 1881 left for his Master’s abode on February 14, 1975.

Almost like yours faithfully, Wodehouse also was employed by a bank and also disliked the work and also turned to writing in his spare time. But while he switched to comic fiction, creating characters like “the feather-brained Bertie Wooster and his sagacious valet, Jeeves; the immaculate and loquacious Psmith; the feeble-minded Lord Emsworth and the Blandings Castle set”, this plebian started with writing for the school newspaper and graduated to the Reader’s Forum and switched to the column, ‘Trivial Travails’, writing about the handsome Atticus and the Trinity and the society at large – where some display their assets while others display what, unknown to them, have become liabilities over time.

While Wodehouse moved in 1934 to France for tax reasons, this poor banker moved to Muscat in 1985 for pecuniary reasons. While the Master used a mixture of Edwardian slang, quotations from and allusions to numerous poets, and only some critics considered his work flippant, nearly all critics (and boy, are they out there!) consider the TT to be flippant despite the quotations from numerous poets and references to the acute and obtuse.

But flippant or not, the alternate Wednesdays keep coming and so does the TT – at least till some more time to come. C’est la vie – such is life! And across the oceans, on the night of February 14, Leonardo DiCaprio had a date with Kate Winslet, at the Royal Opera House in London. Yes, they have a Royal Opera House there too, though nowhere as elegant and beautiful as ours in Muscat. But I digress…was in the process of telling you that Leo and Kate did what they couldn’t do during their Titanic days.

And before the likes of a certain Mr Singh start thinking things, one needs to clarify that the stars of Titanic fame won the 69th BAFTA awards: Leo won his first Best Actor’s award for his role in The Revenant while Kate got the Best Supporting Actress award for her role as Steve Jobs’ secretary. And the coveted Academy Fellowship went to Sir Sidney Poitier, the Sir of To Sir, with Love fame.

The British Academy Film Awards are generally considered to be a precursor to the Academy Awards (or Oscars) and the bookies are now busy rejuggling their odds and ends on Leo and Kate. Don’t know about DiCaprio and Winslet, but I am hoping that Asif Kapadia does a repeat of the BAFTAs and wins again for the best documentary Amy – based on the late singer Amy Winehouse. And the same evening, the BAFTA’s host Stephen Fry’s comment about the costume design award-winner Jenny Beavan’s appearance created havoc in the world of the Twitteratis. After users tweeted him their distaste, he angrily responded in a number of updates, reminding people that Beavan is a close friend of his and she was aware of his intention.

He wrote: “Will all you sanctimonious … … … … … (expletives deleted to protect the continuity of the TT). Jenny Beavan is a friend and joshing is legitimate. Christ I want to leave the planet”. He also shared a picture of himself and Beavan, with the caption: “Jenny Baglady Beavan and Stephen Outrageous Misogynist Swine Fry at the #EEBAFTAs after party”. But he subsequently deleted his account expressing his happiness at being free from Twitter, a platform he referred to as “a stalking ground for the sanctimoniously self-righteous who love to second-guess, to leap to conclusions and be offended”.

Maybe someday, I too will delete my Twitter account after I get to host some award function or the other! But in all fairness, let the man be… . Stephen Fry is a genius, not only because he is the quintessential perfect Jeeves and his Moab is my Washpot is an absolute gem of an autobiography, but because he is!

Give the man a break – if we can’t joke with a friend or about a friend on stage or in print, then we might as well sell our souls to the critics. Right, Mr Singh?

And before I sign off, a few random thoughts:
Do you know that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned?
Do you know that hell also hath no fury like a woman conned?
Do you know that hell actually hath no fury like a woman tagged in a Facebook photo that makes her look fat??
Till next fortnight… .”

(Notes:

  1. This article appeared in The Muscat Daily on the 17th of February, 2016.  (http://www.muscatdaily.com/Archive/Stories-Files/Valentine-s-Day)
  2. Permission from the author to re-blog it here is gratefully acknowledged.)

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PGWodehouseWhen the chips are down, many amongst us turn to that eternal source of unalloyed bliss and a fountain-head of inspiration: the works of P G Wodehouse!

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Source: Wodehouse to the rescue again

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