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While taking a leisurely stroll through the sunlit streets of Plumsville, lined on both sides with trees offering low-hanging ripe mangoes of unalloyed mirth, we come across quite a few authors, editors and publishers.

We get to meet Florence Craye, the famous author of ‘Spindrift’. We run into Oliver Randolph ‘Sippy’ Sipperley, the aspiring author. Gwendolen Moon, the poetess, crosses the street in front of us. George Webster ‘Boko’ Fittleworth bumps into us at the next corner. Smooth Lizzie, a poetess in whom critics might be disappointed, flashes past us in her two-seater. Even Bertie Wooster, our favourite hero, can be seen rushing to the offices of Milady’s Boudoir, possibly to submit his piece on ‘What the Well-Dressed Man is Wearing’.

Daphne Dolores Morehead can be seen headed somewhere in a hurry. Rosie M. Banks can be seen rushing to her humble abode, just to check if Bingo Junior’s bank passbook has finally got updated with the tenner handed over to her loving husband some time back. Bingo Little, himself an editor of Wee Tots, can be seen trying to touch Oofy Prosser for a tenner, so the loss may be made up before her loving wife discovers it. Lord Tilbury, the famous publisher, may get noticed rushing off in a disguise, ostensibly to avoid any manuscripts being hurled at him by aspiring authors from the windows of a passing bus.

A transient state of mental menopausewriters' block image

Though we happen to know most of the authors, writers, poets and poetesses mentioned above, we have no clue as to how they keep whipping up juicy as well as not-so-juicy stuff for their public. We empathize with their feelings of despondency and gloom if they pass a single day without writing at least five hundred odd words. But we continue to be clueless if they ever encounter the dreadful condition described by those in the writing trade as a Writer’s Block. Given the challenges they face in their mundane lives, they would surely be facing a transient state of mental menopause, as it were, at some point in time or the other. But they hide such perils of their profession well.

With one exception – that of Ashe Marson, the hero of Something Fresh. In his case, we get a sneak peek into the kind of conditions which can leave a writer’s sensitive soul all of a twitter, facing a condition which stupefies the brain. The flow of ideas gets blocked. The words no longer pour out, much like a public water tap which goes dry without a warning in a city in one of the emerging economies of the world.

Ashe Marson and the Wand of Death

Residents of Plumsville are aware that Ashe keeps the wolves at bay by dishing out the adventures of Gridley Quayle, Investigator, which are so popular with a certain section of the reading public. He is also known to be a regular when it comes to performing Larsen Exercises in public spaces, having become immune to the no-longer-curious glances of the proprietors of Hotels Mathis and Previtali, few cabmen, some chambermaids and even a cat. Physical fitness is his gospel.1915 Something Fresh collage

But one morning, he gets laughed at by a girl on a first floor balcony. Ashe gets beaten. On this particular day, this one scoffer, alone and unaided, is sufficient for his undoing. The depression, which his exercise regimen had begun to dispel, surges back on him. He has no heart to continue. Sadly gathering up his belongings, he returns to his room, and finds even a cold bath tame and uninspiring.

The breakfast, comprising a disheveled fried egg, some charred bacon and a cup of chicory which is euphemistically called coffee, aggravates the grip of misery. And when he forces himself to his writing-table, and begins to try to concoct the latest of the adventures of Gridley Quayle, Investigator, his spirit groans within him. He rumples his hair and gnaws his pen. He looks blankly for half an hour in front of a sheet of paper bearing the words: “The Adventure of the Wand of Death,” and tries to decide what a wand of death might be.

This is how Wodehouse describes the inner thoughts of his hero:

It was with the sullen repulsion of a vegetarian who finds a caterpillar in his salad that he now sat glaring at them.

The title had seemed so promising overnight–so full of strenuous possibilities. It was still speciously attractive; but now that the moment had arrived for writing the story its flaws became manifest.

What was a wand of death? It sounded good; but, coming down to hard facts, what was it? You cannot write a story about a wand of death without knowing what a wand of death is; and, conversely, if you have thought of such a splendid title you cannot jettison it offhand.

An interruption makes him feel all the more disoriented. However, the intruder happens to be the heroine, Joan Valentine. She de-mystifies the Wand of Death for him thus:

“Why, of course; it’s the sacred ebony stick stolen from the Indian temple, which is supposed to bring death to whoever possesses it. The hero gets hold of it, and the priests dog him and send him threatening messages.
What else could it be?”

Ashe gets back on track!

This is how poor Betty suffers one

So widespread is the silent epidemic of Writer’s Block that even such popular series as Archie Comics has been forced to accord recognition to it once in a while.

Take the case of poor Betty. She has unique qualities of head and heart. However, given her unselfish and helpful nature, she ends up hitting a Writer’s Block. The milk of human kindness sloshing about within her proves to be her undoing. In one episode of these popular comics, she runs quite a few errands. By the time she can please everyone else and hit her typewriter to start pouring out her ideas onto some sheets of paper, the brain refuses to fire even on a single cylinder.

Betty 1 01 (43)betty 2 01 (42)Betty 3 01 (41)Betty 4 01 (40)Betty 5 01 (39)

Even the high and mighty suffer

Present day authors and bloggers can derive some solace from the fact that some of the greatest writers in literature — Leo Tolstoy, Virginia Woolf, Katherine Mansfield, Joseph Conrad, Ernest Hemingway — were tormented by momentary lapses in their ability to dish out some juicy text or the other.

The sensitive souls that authors are, they are apt to be influenced and distracted by external occurrences. But come to think of it, it is their jaundiced view of such occurrences alone that provides them the fodder for their literary produce.

Imagine an author like P G Wodehouse sitting lonely in a dense forest, trying to come up with some escapades of Bertie Wooster and Jeeves. With only a couple of birds and monkeys for company, he is likely to return home in the evening with some blank sheets.

He undoubtedly needs his quiet space. But he also gets in the bargain several distractions. Ethel pottering about in the kitchen. Pets who relish the joys of walking the ramp over some typewritten sheets lying on the floor. A maid who will come in just as he is brooding on his next Hollywood script. A surprise visit by a government official. A postman who brings in some fan mail.

Distractions all, yes. Leading to a Writer’s Block once in a while, yes. But each one is perhaps also an opportunity for him to view a mundane occurrence afresh, with a new perspective. Traits of each real-life person providing him the finer details of some fictional characters he is writing about.

Keeping the milk of human kindness from spilling over

Authors need an eco-system which enables them to strike a judicious balance between their off-society times of solitude and their open-for-interaction times. Successful ones perhaps perfect the art of walking this tight-rope. They make sure they do not exercise in public spaces. They get fed well. They do not get interrupted when they are in their quiet corner, dishing out the adventures of an investigator liked by their publishers and readers. Unlike Betty, they keep their milk of human kindness from spilling over to their grey cells. Their passion for writing keeps them more focused on their journey of creative expression.

Suffering from a Writer’s Block these days? Fret not. Some unique insight is bound to pop up in your mind soon enough. Perhaps, a Joan Valentine is about to walk in and talk about the Indian connection of the mysterious Wand of Death, thereby spurring you on to dizzying heights of creativity!

(Notes:

  1. Images of Writer’s Block and Something Fresh courtesy www.
  2. Archie source: Issue No. 221, Episode titled ‘Betty in the Write Mood‘)

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World over, one activity which keeps ordinary citizens delightfully preoccupied is that of exercising their right toelection voting choose the government they deserve. Travel to any continent, and one is apt to find a set of either countries or states which have either held an election, or are gearing up for the same.

Indians had their share of the fun in 2014 itself. Citizens of Zambia and Italy enjoyed casting a vote earlier this year. So did the denizens of Israel, UK, Poland, Mexico, Turkey and Singapore. Those who live in Portugal have just cast their votes. The ones who inhabit Egypt, Switzerland and Canada are just relishing the build-up of election rhetoric in their respective countries. Citizens of Myanmar, Spain and US are surely looking forward to the experience.

The Amusement Quotient

The process of holding aloft some core democratic values is not bereft of its entertainment value. Hapless citizens who struggle to etch out a living on a day-to-day basis surely deserve as much humour in their lives as they can manage to get. One source of amusement comprises the empty rhetoric and inane promises which get made in almost all the election speeches. Yet another is the tendency of blaming the previous regimes for all the current troubles.

Then we have the ‘simple harmonic motion’ proclivity of politicians who keep changing their loyalties, much like the delicately nurtured whoPGW Garfieldand_friends keep getting in and out of different dresses when taking a saunter down the ramp. Once a war of words starts, Newton’s Third Law of Motion kicks in. Much heat gets generated, but no light.

Some contestants are themselves so very colourful that the speeches rolling off their glib tongues provide enough merriment to last a few weeks at least. It does not really matter which ideology or political party they happen to represent. Their Amusement Quotient (AQ) remains unaffected. The jury though is still out whether a high AQ score translates into a high vote share as well.

Of goodies without tears

Election times not only provide succor to the souls which are perennially tormented by the harsh slings and arrows of life. Often, there is a ready supply of cash and goodies. Free transport to and from exotic locales is readily available. So are free lunches, for a change. The speed at which liquor flows could put a rivulet to shame.

Elections provide great chances of making a great deal of noise. Not to forget the chance of smashing shop-windows and burning vehicles; the sheer excitement of either beating up policemen or pinching their helmets.

Add to this the unique opportunity of throwing rotten apples, tomatoes and eggs at candidates who propound a view which happens to be contrary to that of the voters. No wonder citizens of countries which hold frequent elections end up getting international recognition in such areas as archery and shooting.

Politicians in the Wodehouse mould

Those familiar with the works of P G Wodehouse would fondly recall the select few characters therein having politicalRoderickSpode inclinations – voluntarily or otherwise. Roderick Spode, Comrade Bingo’s revolutionary pals, the Heralds of the Red Dawn, the Hon’ble A. B. Filmer, Sir Gregory Parsloe-Parsloe, Mr. John Bickersdyke, Bertie’s pal Ginger and Stilton Cheesewright would readily spring to their minds.

When they look around the present set of politicians who keep huffing and puffing at frequent intervals, they are apt to be able to identify some unique traits of the Wodehousean characters in most of them.

The deep commitment to the Cause of a Spode. The revolutionary pals who fail to recognize the new-age challenges facing their outdated ideology. The self-assured stuffed-frog charisma of a Filmer. The morally dubious character of a Gregory Parsloe-Parsloe. The never-say-die spirit of a John Bickersdyke. The reluctant politicians in the mould of either a Ginger or a Stilton, on whom political ambition has been thrust by a no-nonsense girl friend.

Carbon credits, humour and mythology – the Indian scenario

The largest democratic exercise anywhere in the world takes place in India. The general elections in 2014 have beenIndia Parliament House quickly followed by state assembly polls. Earlier in 2015, Delhi chose a new government. It is now Bihar’s turn. States like Assam, Kerala, Pondicherry, West Bengal and Tamil Nadu follow in 2016.

In large states, campaigns and rallies based on 3-D holographic techniques are now more of a norm than an exception. Political parties using these can surely claim ‘carbon credits’ for adopting greener practices.

Indian elections have more than their share of humour and spectacle, much like elections elsewhere. Some politicians display their salty wit while some make do with their smiling sarcasm. Some go around chest-thumping and rattling off their achievements whereas some others thrive on their quiet dignity and a Monalisque enigma.

The great mythological epics of India provide an excellent resource base to contestants. Their complicated storylines and character lists provide unique opportunities for allusions and allegories to be drawn, thereby providing a divine touch to the worst of invectives which are routinely hurled at each other. Indian politicians’ mastery over mythology needs to be commended. Publishers of kids’ literature based on these epics surely laugh all the way to their banks.

The potential of Election Tourism

India has the good fortune of having a few state elections every year, the general elections being the blockbusterTaj offerings every five years. Invariably, the sheer magnitude of the exercise leads to staggered multi-phase elections, which offer a unique business opportunity – to those in the hospitality and tourism sector, and also to the government by buoying up its foreign exchange earnings.

India already boasts of Cultural Tourism, Business Tourism, Medical Tourism, Religious Tourism, Spiritual Tourism and the Goa kind of tourism. Time, perhaps, to tweak the Incredible India panoply and include Election Tourism as one of its key verticals.

Some incredible benefits

Consider the following advantages of such an initiative:
• A global platform for all our politicos to display their theatrical and oratory skills.Angelina_Jolie_2_June_2014_
• Rebranding India – from a land of snake-charmers and elephants to a digital-savvy country, what with innovative 3-D holographic campaigns, mobile applications and the works.
• Global promotion of the kind of mud-slinging which goes on, in the name of campaigning.
• A unique exposure to India’s rich mythology and epics.
• Improvement in the country’s foreign exchange reserves, with its attendant benefits for the Indian economy.
• Boost to several sectors of the economy, like travel, tourism and hospitality; the spill-over effect on other sectors.
• Boost to investments from Swiss Finishing Schools which would make a beeline to set up coaching centers in India, aimed at grooming our politicos.
• Political parties could augment their inflows by auctioning the rights to campaign amongst international celebrities. Imagine the likes of Arnold Schwarzenegger, Angelina Jolie and Drew Barrymore getting roped in to make selective appearances at public meetings and shoring up the electoral prospects of some parties.
• Some movie moghuls from Hollywood could even get tempted to persuade Julia Roberts to appear in a movieMadrid_-_Congreso_de_Diputados entitled ‘Eat, Pray and Vote’, thereby improving the prospects of even smaller political parties to make a mark.

An exciting global outlook

Once India provides a lead along these lines, several other countries would follow suit. Their GDPs would register a healthy increase. Unemployment rates would dip. Politicos of all hues will get a global platform to showcase their marketing abilities. In the not so distant a future, global auctions could take place, enrolling the campaigning services of international celebrities. Coffers of the parent country they hail from would start getting filled up faster.

Spain, which ranked first among 141 countries in the World Economic Forum’s Travel and Tourism CompetitiveHillary_Clinton Index, has an immediate opportunity coming up by way of a general election planned on December 20, 2015. Imagine the delight of a tourist who, while visiting the Plaza Mayor, the Teide National Park and the Museo del Prado, gets invited to a witness an election rally on one of her quieter evenings!

USA plans to hold its next Presidential election on November 8, 2016. There is enough time for tourism agencies to whip up some special packages which, besides offering a trip to the Niagra Falls and the Grand Canyon, include a contributory dinner with, say, Hillary Clinton!

The possibilities are endless. The mind boggles. If Spain takes a lead, it is likely that the United Nations World Tourism Organization, headquartered in Madrid, would soon move to recognize Election Tourism as a responsible, sustainable and universally accessible activity.

(Related Posts:

https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2015/10/10/politicos-in-plumsville-part-1

https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2015/10/12/politicos-in-plumsville-part-2

https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2015/10/15/invitation-to-a-swearing-in-ceremony-at-blandings-castle)

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Denizens of the Republic of Plumsville are cordially invited to attend the swearing-in ceremony of the new cabinet of its Federal Government.Blandings castle-enHon’ble President, Lord Emsworth (Clarence Threepwood, 9th Earl of Emsworth), would preside over the function. The Vice President, Mr. Chichester Clam, shall also grace the occasion.

The ceremony shall begin with the Hon’ble President raising the National Flag, to the accompaniment of a rendering of the National Anthem ‘Sonny Boy’ by Ms. Cora Bellinger.

The Hon’ble President, the Vice President and the incumbent Prime Minister shall thereafter garland the statue of Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse, KBE, the Father of the Nation.

Oaths shall be administered by the Chief Justice of Plumsville, Sir Watkyn Bassett. Oaths shall be in the name of the Constitution of Plumsville, viz., The Code of the Woosters.

Here are the respective portfolios and the incumbents:

Prime Minister: Mr. Rupert Psmith (‘p’ is silent)

Commerce and Industry: Ms. Joan Valentine

Defence: Ms. Stephanie Byng

Entrepreneurship: Ms. Sally

Fashion Design: Sir Roderick Spode

Finance: Mr. Stanley Featherstonehaugh Ukridge

Food Processing: Mr. Anatole

Health & Family Welfare: Mr. Ashe Marson

Home: Ms. Dahlia Travers

Human Resource/Education: Ms. Tomlinson

International Relations: Mr. Reginald Jeeves

Information & Broadcasting: Mr. Mulliner

Labour & Employment: Mr. Gussie Fink-Nottle

Literature and Fine Arts: Ms. Rosie M. Banks

Matrimonial Bliss: Mr. Bingo Little

Milk of Human Kindness: Mr. Bertram Wilberforce Wooster

Net Neutrality: Sir Gregory Parsloe-Parsloe

Parliamentary Affairs: Hon. Galahad Threepwood

Space and Atomic Energy: Ms. Madeline Bassett

Sports: Ms. Pauline Stoker

Taxation: Mr. Tom Travers

Terror Management: Ms. Roberta Wickham

Tissue Restoratives: Ms. Postlethwaite

Tourism: Ms. Angela Travers

Transport: Mr. Percy Craye, Earl of Worplesdon

Wildlife & Forests: Captain Cuthbert Gervase ‘Bwana’ Brabazon-Biggar

The swearing-in ceremony shall be followed by a short program, as follows:

Speech by Mr. Rupert Psmith

‘Meeting Millennium Development Goals: The Role of Humour in enhancing the Gross Happiness Index of countries’

 Brief talk by Ms. Stephanie Byng

‘Defending borders of countries with a dash of humour; The need to set up training academies in pinching helmets’

Presentation by Mr. Gussie Fink-Nottle

‘Boosting employment prospects of youth by encouraging newt-rearing industry’

Brief talk by Mr. Bertram W. Wooster

‘Managing Immigrants in an increasingly globalized world – An Innovative Approach based on the Milk of Human Kindness’

Talk by Sir Gregory Parsloe-Parsloe

‘Maintaining Net Neutrality by pinching servers and technocrats from neighbouring countries’

Address by Ms. Roberta Wickham

‘Using the hot-water-bottle puncturing strategy and other goofy schemes to neutralize terroristic endeavours’

Video presentation by Ms. Angela Travers

‘Promoting tourism by protecting sharks and whales’

A vaudeville performance by Aunt Julia and Joe Danby

A parody of the Market Snodsbury speech of Mr. Gussie Fink-Nottle, delivered by Master Seabury

The President shall thereafter be pleased to have you with him and the newly inducted team at the lavish luncheon being planned by Monsieur Anatole, God’s gift to our gastric juices. He shall be assisted by the house staff, led by Mr. Sebastian Beach.

The event shall conclude with a Guard of Honour, led by Colonel Aubrey Wyvern, astride the high-bred Potato Chip.

Venue: Forecourt of Blandings Castle
Date: October 15, 2015
Time: 10:00 hours sharp

Notes:

1. Guests and invitees are hereby requested to take their seats by 09:45 hours.

2. Pets are strictly discouraged, lest they disturb the pre-lunch siesta of the Empress of Blandings. James Pirbright shall be in attendance. All the decent sheep and cattle shall be hustled away into regions unknown, so the ceremony may proceed without any interruption.

3. Cell phones and technical gizmos of all kinds shall need to be deposited with Constable Ernest Dobbs at the entrance.

4. For those who wish to take a guided tour of the magnificent gardens and the moss-covered yew alley, Mr. Angus McAllister shall be available after the conclusion of the ceremony.

RSVP: Secretary to the Hon’ble President: Rupert Baxter.

(Notes:

  1. Inputs received from avid fans of P G Wodehouse are gratefully acknowledged.
  2. You may also like to check out: https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2015/10/10/politicos-in-plumsville-part-1)

Related Post:

When a Plum fan becomes the Prime Minister of India…

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In the last post, we considered the political leanings of Roderick Spode and Harold Winship, aka Ginger. Here are two more characters of a political nature we come across in Plumsville.

The challenge of handling hecklers

Let us look at some of the challenges faced by Mr. John Bickersdyke, manager of the London branch of the New Asiatic Bank, who is a keen aspirant for a Parliamentary slot. He has the singular misfortune of having the immaculate and loquacious Psmith working under his supervision.  (Psmith in the City)

He might have been defeated in an earlier attempt by a couple of thousand votes. He might have now switched overPsmith from being a Liberal to a Unionist. All this does not deter him from making a speech at the local Town Hall.

However, Kenningford, S. E., happens to be a tough place. The electorate is more inclined towards a robust kind of humour which could even incite such physical acts as smashing shop-windows and kicking policemen.

This is how Wodehouse sums up political meetings:

‘All political meetings are very much alike. Somebody gets up and introduces the speaker of the evening, and then the speaker of the evening says at great length what he thinks of the scandalous manner in which the Government is behaving or the iniquitous goings-on of the Opposition. From time to time confederates in the audience rise and ask carefully rehearsed questions, and are answered fully and satisfactorily by the orator. When a genuine heckler interrupts, the orator either ignores him, or says haughtily that he can find him arguments but cannot find him brains. Or, occasionally, when the question is an easy one, he answers it. A quietly conducted political meeting is one of England’s most delightful indoor games. When the meeting is rowdy, the audience has more fun, but the speaker a good deal less.’

Armed with a penetrating, if harsh, voice, Mr. Bickersdyke begins well. He casts a spell over his audience. He says a couple of nasty things about Free Trade and the Alien Immigrant and then turns to the Needs of the Navy and the necessity of increasing the fleet at all costs.

‘This is no time for half-measures,’ he said. ‘We must do our utmost. We must burn our boats–‘
‘Excuse me,’ said a gentle voice.
‘How,’ asked Psmith, ‘do you propose to strengthen the Navy by burning boats?’

The inane question breaks the spell. The story of ‘Three Men in a Boat’ is used to amuse the audience. When Mr.

Psmith 1909 by T. M. R. Whitwell

Psmith 1909 by T. M. R. Whitwell

Bickersdyke goes on to point out the lack of genuine merit in the achievements of His Majesty’s Government, applause follows.

The irrepressible Psmith once again interrupts and points out that the story is not an original one. A fiasco follows. How Psmith manages his boss the next day is something to be learnt from.

Mr. Bickersdyke ends up winning the election, though with a slender margin over his opponent, about whose background some damaging revelations get circulated on the eve of the poll, projecting him as a German spy.

Astute politicians always ensure that their speeches are cleverly crafted and dramatically delivered. These are designed to be monologues, interspersed either with loud applause from the audience or with sloganeering, cheering and flag-waiving from time to time.

A mulish cop who refuses to stand for Parliament

A member of the Drones Club, Stilton is a hulking chap with a large head compared to a pumpkin and a ‘face that looked like a slab of pink dough’. He is educated at Eton and Oxford, but considered a fine fellow only ‘as far northwards as the neck’.

In Joy in the Morning, we find him to be the local cop at Steeple Bumpleigh. However, his fiancée, Florence Craye, does not approve of his career choice. Here is a part of the exchange of views on the subject between her and Bertie:JoyInTheMorning

‘I should have thought you would have been rather bucked about it all. As giving evidence of Soul, I mean.’
‘Soul?’
‘It shows he’s got a great soul.’
‘I should be extremely surprised to find that he has any soul above those great, clodhopping boots he wears. He is just pig-headed. I have reasoned with him over and over again. His uncle wants him to stand for Parliament and is prepared to pay all his expenses and to finance him generously for the rest of his life, but no, he just looks mulish and talks about earning his living. I am sick and tired of the whole thing, and I really don’t know what I shall do about it.’

Towards the end of the narrative, Stilton gets ticked off by Uncle Percy for forgetting his sacred obligations and bringing up wild and irresponsible accusations in a selfish desire to secure promotion. This revolting exhibition of fraud and skullduggery makes him resign from the Force, thereby restoring the romantic relations between him and Florence. Whether he eventually makes it to the Parliament is not known.

Politicos and their invaluable contribution to humour

Politics offers a great opportunity to humourists of all hues. Cartoonists are forever snapping at their heels, irrespective of their popularity at any given point in time. Writers keep coming up with articles which project the funnier side of their acts of omission and commission. Stand-up comedians earn their living based on scripts and acts which are centered on their misdemeanours.

We might love or hate politicos, but they do provide us comic relief. Their contribution to promoting diverse careers is indeed praiseworthy. Above all, they are marketing honchos who have perfected the art of selling dreams to their gullible public.

P G Wodehouse was not a political or social commentator. Yet, he gave us a handful of politically inclined characters. All of them happen to be as cranky in Wodehouse’s world, as indeed they are in ours.

I wonder if he ever etched out a political character from amongst the delicately nurtured of the Plumsville species. Aunt Agatha would have surely made a fine politician; so would have Joan Valentine and Sally!

(Related Posts:

https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2015/10/10/politicos-in-plumsville-part-1

https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2014/03/02/the-hapless-rozzers-in-plumsville)

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In Plumsville, we get to meet quite a few characters who happen to nurse political ambitions. Some happen to be born crusaders and revolutionaries. Others appear to have gravitated towards politics by chance. Yet others have a career in politics thrust upon them by a ruthless fiancée.

The name of Roderick Spode readily springs to our minds. Comrade Bingo’s revolutionary pals, the Heralds of the Red Dawn, pop up in our consciousness. Our grey cells remind us of the Hon’ble A. B. Filmer, the Cabinet Minister who gets readily intimidated by an angry swan.

The morally dubious Conservative and Unionist candidate Sir Gregory Parsloe-Parsloe is another person whom we cannot afford to ignore. When not busy pinching sow-keepers and the Empress of Blandings, he plans to stand in a by-election in the Bridgeford and Shifley Parliamentary Division of Shropshire.

The candidature of John Bickersdyke, who has the singular misfortune of having the immaculate and loquacious Psmith working under his supervision at the London branch of the New Asiatic Bank, deserves a mention.

The list of honourable mentions cannot be complete without the hapless Ginger who endeavours to take up a political career merely to please his fiancée. In another narrative, the same fiancée aspires to influence the career of Stilton Cheesewright, who is otherwise content being a vigilant guardian of peace at Steeple Bumpleigh.

Here are some of the select specimens we come across.

Misinterpreting the Voice of the People

Roderick Spode and his nationalist Black Shorts gang happen to be shining examples of dictatorship, a form of CodeOfTheWoostersgovernance which does not depend upon the approval of the lay citizen. This is how Bertie Wooster expresses himself on the subject (The Code of the Woosters):

“The trouble with you, Spode, is that just because you have succeeded in inducing a handful of half-wits to disfigure the London scene by going about in black shorts, you think you’re someone. You hear them shouting “Heil, Spode!” and you imagine it is the Voice of the People. That is where you make your bloomer. What the Voice of the People is saying is: “Look at that frightful ass Spode swanking about in footer bags! Did you ever in your puff see such a perfect perisher?”

In the television series Jeeves and Wooster, Spode makes loud, dramatic speeches in which he announces bizarre statements of policy, such as giving each citizen at birth a British–made bicycle and umbrella, widening the rails of the entire British railway network, so sheep may stand sideways on trains, the banning of the import of foreign root-vegetables and the compulsory, scientific measurement of all male knees.

The perils of being affianced to a perfectionist

Then we have the curious case of Harold Winship, or Ginger, who is an old chum of Bertie’s. (Much Obliged, Jeeves)

When at school, he used to play a Damon to Bertie’s Pythias. He has been persuaded by his fiancée to stand for Parliament in the bye-election at Market Snodsbury.

‘But I was telling you about this business of standing for Parliament. First, of course, you have to get the nomination.’
‘How did you manage that?’
‘My fiancée fixed it. She knows one of the Cabinet ministers, and he pulled strings. A man named Filmer.’
‘Not A. B. Filmer?’
‘That’s right. Is he a friend of yours?’
‘I wouldn’t say exactly a friend. I came to know him slightly owing to being chased with him on to the roof of a sort of summer-house by an angry swan. This drew us rather close together for the moment, but we never became really chummy.’
‘Where was this?’
‘On an island on the lake at my Aunt Agatha’s place at Steeple Bumpleigh. Living at Steeple Bumpleigh, you’ve PGW MuchObligedJeevesprobably been there.’
He looked at me with a wild surmise, much as those soldiers Jeeves has told me about looked on each other when on a peak in Darien, wherever that is.
‘Is Lady Worpledon your aunt?’
‘And how.’
‘She’s never mentioned it.’
‘She wouldn’t. Her impulse would be to hush it up.’
‘Then, good Lord, she must be your cousin.’
‘No, my aunt. You can’t be both.’
‘I mean Florence. Florence Craye, my fiancée.’
It was a shock.

Florence, as we all know, is a perfectionist. She has no use for a loser. To keep her esteem you have to be a winner. Bertie and Jeeves must therefore pull out all stops to ensure that Ginger contests the election successfully.

We learn that besides securing a nomination, the work for a candidate is rather tough. He has to be a model of respectability; his past should bear the strictest investigation. He has to listen to addresses of welcome in stuffy halls through the better part of a night. He has to continue making speeches. He must kiss babies, even if they happen to be dribbling by the sides of their mouths.

(To be continued)

(Related Post: https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2015/10/12/politicos-in-plumsville-part-2)

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What ho!

Just a week to go for the birthday celebrations,

Some of you must be concluding your Plummy deliberations;

Whipping up some juicy anecdotes and posts,

Which can be read with much glee by the party hosts.

 

With doors shut, the brain firing on all twelve cylinders,

Time perhaps to pen down the life’s goofy blunders;

Creative juices sloshing about, a tissue restorative by your side,

Between us bosom pals, there is never a thing to hide.

 

There are no contests to be entered into, nor any prizes to be won,

Either with your brain or with your heart, just pen down a juicy one;

The soft inner glow of happiness is all that you would require,

A rainbow of adulation around your shoulders you will surely acquire.

(Relates post: https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2014/10/15/an-invitation-for-the-residents-of-plumsville)

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Oh my Wodehouse/Plum Pie

PGWodehouseWhat ho! Here is yet another juicy post from Neha Dsouza which the residents of Plumsville may like.

“Wodehouse is the perfect dose for an aching heart. Whether you’re a damsel in distress, a gentleman at leisure, a small bachelor or simply neck deep in hot water, whatever your problem may be, Wodehouse cures it all.

His books are literary doses of laughing gas. It doesn’t matter whether you chose to read his books for pure joy in the morning , during full moon or the mating season or even during summer lightning they are bound to tickle your funny bone.

If you’re down with spring fever or you have frozen assets due to ice in the bedroom, simply take a sizeable doze of Wodehouse.

With masterful comical storytelling and his ability to conjure something fresh with a very basic storyline, he is a literary humour therapist. So all you’ll need to do is lay back and leave it to Psmith or simply ring for Jeeves. And if your aunts aren’t gentlemen or you have an uncle dynamite, or you happen to see that some pigs have wings, simply dive into a Wodehouse book during cocktail time and wash down your anguish.

He will take you on an enthralling journey around Blandings castle. With the inimitable Jeeves by your side and an uncle Fred in springtime to whom you can confide, you will find a way out of heavy weather. So wipe away that frown, don a heart of goof, plop a Wodehouse book by your side and devour into a plate of eggs, beans and crumpets.”

(The original post can be found here: http://zephyrnick.blogspot.in/2015/05/oh-my-wodehouseplum-pie.html)

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The Truth About George

In Plumsville, the delicately nurtured get proposed to in many delightful ways. Here is an exquisite sample from Plumtopia, based on the lives of George and Susan.

Honoria Plum's avatarPlumtopia

1927 Meet Mr. Mulliner mycopyI asked my eight year old daughter to share her favourite Wodehouse romance and, after much umming and ahhhhing, she chose ‘The Truth About George’. In this short story (from Meet Mr. Mulliner) Mr Mulliner recounts the ordeal of his nephew George Mulliner, who must overcome his stammer in order to declare his love for Susan Blake.

Many Wodehouse couples are brought together through a common interest  — it might be golf, Tennyson’s poems, or a shared love of mystery novels, for ‘there is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature’ (‘Strychnine in the Soup’). In the case of avid cruciverbalists George Mulliner and Susan Blake, it is a love of crossword puzzles.

…George was always looking in at the vicarage to ask her if she knew a word of seven letters meaning ‘appertaining to the profession of plumbing’, and Susan was…

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My Top Five Wodehouse Books

One of the most arduous tasks a fan of P G Wodehouse can undertake is that of trying to prepare a list of her top five favourite works of the Master. The mind boggles. The heart flutters. The soul rebels.

Here is someone who has attempted the near-impossible and has come up with gratifying results.

zanyzigzag's avatarZanyzigzag's Blog

Greetings, dear readers! I have been away for almost the whole of August visiting family and friends back in the UK, so unfortunately I didn’t manage my usual monthly blogpost last month. Hopefully I can now get back on track with two posts in September.

I was thinking recently about my favourite Wodehouse books and decided to try and narrow my favourites down into a Top Five list. This includes two Jeeves books, one stand-alone, one Psmith book and the only full-length Ukridge book. I have not listed them in order of preference – that process would be too drawn-out and agonising – but I have composed a small summary for each one, detailing why I like that particular story and some of the stand-out moments in each book. I know this post will probably be much more interesting for my readers who also happen to be Wodehouse fans, however, I…

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Habitually late for work? What are the excuses you normally come up with? Are there special tactics to be adopted to win over in a potentially embarrassing situation?

P G Wodehouse is not about humour alone. He also has tips on such mundane affairs.

Here is yet another delectable post from Plumtopia. Pray that your obnoxious boss does not get to read it.

Honoria Plum's avatarPlumtopia

PSmith In The CityAs he stood near the doorway, one or two panting figures rushed up the steps, and flung themselves at a large book which stood on the counter near the door. Mike was to come to know this book well.

Psmith in the City

One of the minor curses of my day-to-day existence is being habitually late for work — not through personal tardiness, I hasten to add. Mine is not the life of Joss Weatherby (Quick Service), who oversleeps after late nights at the gambling table, or Barmy Fotheringay-Phipps (Barmy in Wonderland) who goes on toots with Mervyn Potter. No, I go to bed at an early hour and rise regularly at 5.00am to write.

Dragging myself away from writing is a struggle — I sympathise with Nicholas Jules St Xavier Auguste, Marquis de Maufringneuse et Valerie-Moberanne (French Leave) who cannot drag himself from…

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