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The ‘P’ of Management (Part 1)

April 4, 2013 by ashokbhatia

PACKAGES

Negotiable only at the entry stage, and may not remain so thereafter! Also, the rate of growth of packages outside the company would always be better than the jumps you get in-house! Bear in mind that packages are worked out in relation to the company’s corporate ego (read brand value), and also the comfort levels offered. If you are willing to challenge yourself and move out of your present comfort zone, don’t grumble for long; find another exciting opportunity and move on!

As postulated by the Motivation-Hygiene Theory of Herzberg, packages fall in the Hygiene category of rewards. In other words, to use a medical analogy, their presence does not necessarily make a person healthier; on the contrary, their absence can cause deterioration in health. To put it simply, when it comes to individual motivation levels, packages have a rather short shelf life!

PEOPLE

They are not spares of a machine, to be replaced once their utility is exhausted. Grooming them for higher responsibilities is the management’s prerogative.

The Two Factor theory established long time back that money is a poor motivator, boosting people’s morale only in the short run. Money is connected to material acquisitions and the mind. Intangibles appeal to the heart and make much better sense. A surprising word of praise from an unexpected quarter can cheer up an employee no end. A birthday greeting which goes out-of-the-way to enable an employee to spend quality time with his family may be far more effective. The intangibles build an emotional bond with the company.

PERFORMANCE

At times, first impressions of performance are wrong. Some slow starters may become star performers; some could well be flashes in the pan who eventually fumble and attain a state of clueless bliss. Most jobs would need consistent performance, whereas some require short-term bursts of energy and attention.

Assess performance of people over a period of time, against the backdrop of the nature of the assignment handled.

PLANNING

Good planning needs to be exhaustive, but also flexible. Business environment is always in a flux, and a plan always has to be reviewed to ensure not only its own relevance but also the enthusiasm of the team which would be burning the proverbial midnight oil to implement it.

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Romancing the Trains!

March 31, 2013 by ashokbhatia

I believe that the Romance Quotient of train journeys is much higher than that of air travel. I dislike the adrenalin rush of Toy trainchecking-in at airports, getting frisked all over and then sitting cooped up sardines-like in a wobbly metal container which has very few merits otherwise. Cutting short the travel time is surely a good advantage of air travel. Another is the ambience and the service one can possibly enjoy while traveling by air. But, given a choice, I would prefer a train journey any day!

The Travails of Air Travel

Not for me the endless hours spent on packing and repacking my stuff to ensure that the baggage is within the stiff weight limits prescribed by airlines. Liquid delicacies like home-made syrups and pickles are best left out. A meticulous planning needs to be done for what can or cannot go into hand baggage. Once, a minor quantity of liquid milk being carried for a small baby caused so much trouble that we almost ended up missing our flight! The whole drill of taking off my shoes, removing my belt and letting go of my laptop and cell phone in a separate tray leaves me rather nervous and exasperated.Italy

The duration of an air journey is good only for fleeting eye contact and for brief encounters with the finer and gentler of the species. I get looked at with fake and synthetic smiles by petite air-hostesses who are possibly planning their next activities after the flight gets over. The only time they appear to be smiling genuinely is perhaps at the end of the flight when I am leaving the plane. On the contrary, while leaving a train, I find great resistance from various quarters on terminating my journey – the passengers who are forcing their way into the compartment I am trying to leave, the porter who  shows up after much reluctance, and the ticket collector who thinks I have been traveling WT!

While flying, most commercial airlines maintain the cabin pressure for altitudes between 7 and 8,000 ft. May be, that is why I feel somewhat disoriented and confused at times while on a flight. Movies on board, a quick succession of saliva-inducing food items and beverages are all designed to keep my anxiety levels down as we cruise along at heights of around 35,000 ft.

Romancing the TrainsGlacier Exp

Consider the superior advantages of travelling by train. I am not referring to trains in the western world, where I could set my watch based on their arrival time, and the toilets and stations are spotlessly clean. Even if I were to consider trains in India, the experience turns out to be better than that of air travel.

To learn the basic tenets of karma yoga, all I need to do is to travel in an unreserved compartment of Indian Railways; the daunting task of going through the first few chapters of Bhagavad Gita can be easily avoided. Entry into the bogie is like life itself – full of struggle, adventure, victory and failure – requiring all the mental as well as physical agility at my command. I learn to overcome stiff resistance from those who are already inside and have managed to acquire a comfortable spot for themselves and their kith and kin. The struggle for survival brings out the worst in me. In the process, I believe, I get internally purified, getting rid of all my mental toxins!

Once I have jostled my way in, the next phase of seeking a comfortable perch begins. With toilets also jam-packed and inaccessible, I learn the value of patience and forbearance. By the next station, I have myself acquired the rights to start denying entry to those attempting to enter the compartment at all subsequent stations!Flamsbana

If I happen to travel in a sleeper class, I find it a very ‘homely’ experience – invariably, all passengers tend to treat the compartment as a second home! There is much sharing of news, views, family history and current troubles facing the passengers in my cubicle. Mention suffering from any disease and I am sure to be heaped with unsolicited advice on the efficacy of a wide variety of treatments. As I surmise over the troubles of my co-passengers, I am left convinced that my own problems are not that very serious. Now, what could be a better way of uplifting my sagging spirits?!

By the time the journey comes to an end, I have created tenuous bonds of transient relationships. If luck favors me, I could have even managed to charm the pretty young thing on the opposite seat by advising her on the possibilities of the next train connection and by offering to her some delectable food items bought at various stations on the way!

While traveling by air, I miss the windows. This deprives me of the simple pleasure of waving my hands, bidding a good-bye to those who have come to see me off. This is a privilege denied to those traveling by air. Also, in the absence of windows, I cannot haggle for the fruits and eatables I wish to purchase from a vendor on a station while enjoying the comfort of sitting glued to my seat.

In an AC compartment, I find great possibilities of networking. Newspapers and magazines get shared with quiet dignity. Mobile chargers can be readily borrowed. Movies can be readily shared on another passenger’s laptop. If my body language discourages a dialogue, there are good chances of me being left in peace. And what a pleasure it is to curl up with my favorite book and then enjoying a siesta after a hearty meal!

The seating in trains is invariably designed to promote brotherhood and human interaction. In an aircraft, we are seated theatre-like, with very little chance of either socializing or networking, except for the chance of hobnobbing with the passenger in the next seat.

As compared to the continuous drone of aircraft engines audible while travelling by air, trains have a unique melody and rhythm of their own. Like a lullaby, it tends to put me to sleep quite effectively.

I confess that my reasons for liking train travel are also economic; despite tall claims made by airlines of offering affordable air travel, trains are still much cheaper!

Indian Railways – Big Organization, Bigger Challenges

I really admire Indian Railways. They somehow manage to maintain 7,500 stations, 1,15,000 km of tracks and around 14 lac employees. They also cope with the daunting and mammoth task of handling 2.5 crore passengers and 28 lac MT of freight every day. This is despite the fact that 20% of their rolling stock has outlived its life, the tracks are not in the best of health and the demands of various regions are always piling up.

I believe they face serious issues in coach and track maintenance. Quite a few bridges are getting aged and slowing down trains. Outdated communication, safety and signaling equipment are not getting upgraded anytime soon. The penchant to keep announcing new trains every year continues unabated whereas safety measures invariably take a back seat.220px-Goldenchariot_train_luxury_service_in_india

Sanitation is a big concern. Indian Railways, the largest single employer of India, has helped perpetuate the caste oriented practice of manual scavenging for decades. The bulk of the blame for contributing towards the insanitary state of railway stations and tracks lies at their doorstep. Given the resources at its command, it should not be beyond IR’s capacity to equip trains with systems to handle fecal waste.

Improving the Romantic Quotient of Indian Railways

As an ordinary citizen of India, I would not push for bullet trains. I would rather have the railways invest in efficient waste management systems, better security measures, modern communication and signaling systems, mechanized track and station maintenance solutions.220px-Delhi_Duronto

Above all, if the stations and coaches start exuding a three-star ambience, IR would surely start persuading the passengers to treat its assets with better respect and affection, thereby improving the romantic allure of train journeys in India!

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The ‘O’ of Management

March 28, 2013 by ashokbhatia

OBJECTIVES, GOALS

To come up with a clear and simple goal is the key task of a manager. A dithering on this score is bound to lead to disasters, with precious resources getting wasted. The goals also need to be flexible, to always remain in tune with the business environment.

ORGANIZATION STRUCTURESOVERSTAYING ONE’S WELCOME

Are these helpful or simply a drag on the business? A formal chart is handy for the HR guys to decide ranks, packages and perks. Also, to external agencies, it explains how the organization works. In reality, a matrix organization, with a heady mix of formal as well as informal linkages between different units and/or departments, is far more effective in meeting business goals.

In any case, an organization chart cannot be allowed to become responsible for business paralysis and rigor mortis setting in.

OVERSTAYING ONE’S WELCOME

It is just not done. It shows one to be in a deep comfort zone, enjoying the perks of familiar personalities, processes and systems, but missing out on newer challenges and some spice in one’s career.

All ideas which sound revolutionary from a new incumbent fade exponentially over a period of time. The incumbent himself gets bored and a sense of fatalism sets in. A smart incumbent would call it quits before he reaches this state of vegetation.

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AN INDO-ITALIAN COURTSHIP

March 24, 2013 by ashokbhatia

When one speaks of an Indian-Italian courtship these days, one’s imagination invariably veers around to the recent diplomatic row between the two countries on a matter involving the highest ‘court’ of India and the unfortunate death of two Indian fishermen at the hands of two marines of an Italian ‘ship’. But the ‘courtship’ between the two countries is much broader and deeper than this!

Italy and India are so similar, yet so different. One is a developed country; the other is striving to meet its Ajanta_Padmapanidevelopmental goals. One has a population of 62 million; the other is struggling to cope with its 1.2 billion! Italy is placed 10th in overall GDP terms globally, whereas India is placed at 3rd. In per capita terms though, Italy (USD 30,116) is 29th in the world, whereas India (USD 3,851) is placed 129th!

Yet, the two countries are very similar to each other! Both Italians and Indians tend to be warm-hearted, open and talkative. Both share a common disdain for their politicians and judiciary. Whether it is art and culture, variety of cuisine and language, history and geography, heritage and movies, both share several common characteristics. Both are famous for their movies, motor scooters, cars and gossip magazines.

The Italian Charms!

Indians have fallen for Italian charms since quite some time. During the 1970s, the preferred choice of a scooter in India was Vespa, an Italian brand. Espresso coffee soon followed and quickly became a household name. Pizza was the next to captivate the taste buds of Indians of all age groups. Gucci, Prada, Armani and Versace are already the favourite brands of the well-heeled. Several other major brands – like Alberta Ferreti, Fendi, Byblos and Scorpion Bay, to name only a few – have already firmed up plans to woo the Indian customer in the days to come.Colosseum_in_Rome,_Italy

Each state in India has its own delectable cuisine. Likewise, all the 20 regions of Italy boast of their own cuisines. If India has its paranthas, chhole-kulche and dosas, Italy has pizzas, risotto, lasagne and pasta. In each category, both offer a mind-boggling variety to choose from.

Mamma Mia!

Both countries place a high emphasis on family values, especially the affection their own brand of tiger moms bestow on their respective precious cubs! Culturally, within a family, the male adult comes first, is served first at the table and is fussed over better. It is never in doubt as to who wears the pants in the family. Females in both countries play an important role in the kitchen and like to focus on displaying their culinary skills better.

Both Italians and Indians tend to be passionate and express their feelings loud and clear when upset! In both countries, weddings are increasingly based on love, as opposed to being ‘arranged’ in the past.

A Soulful Connection

For Indians who have perfected the art of living with filth and squalor all around them, visiting Italy is like a sophisticated and upgraded home-coming of sorts. Despite being a European country, Italy has a unique Indian touch which captivates and enamours the Indian soul quite effectively.IMGP9042

Taking a leisurely stroll near the Rome Termini Train Station, one is gently reminded of similar surroundings of the railway stations in India. Running into few homeless vagabonds sleeping in a corner is quite likely. The stench of stale urine emanating from a boundary wall makes one feel quite at home. However, one still misses the graphic art masterpieces in various hues of maroon so lovingly created by our paan-chewing brethren on all kinds of walls back home.

One will find laundry drying and ladies squatting and chatting away merrily on roads and streets. Driving on roads is the same, that is, on the left side. Also, there is no difference in driving habits; in India as well as in Italy, the values of Freedom, Fraternity and Democracy are upheld with remarkable zeal on the roads, holding all rules in sheer contempt!

How We Hate Our Courts and Politicians

There is a shared contempt of courts. Emblem_of_Italy.svg was sentenced to a year in prison but does not appear to be going to jail anytime soon. The Indian legislative bodies can justifiably claim to have a liberal sprinkling of criminals. If Italy has a strong presence of the mafia, India has its own share of the underworld dons.

People in both countries are perhaps tired of the ruling dispensation as well as the opposition camps of all hues. Recent elections in Italy have thrown up a hung parliament. India has been experimenting with the coalition model of governance for more than two decades now and can offer rich expertise to Italy on managing Emblem_of_India.svg‘coalition compulsions’!

The Begging Bowl Syndrome

Italy and India share the same level of income disparities amongst their populace. If one were to go by the UN Gini index, Italy was assessed at 32 in 2006, whereas India was assessed at 33.4 in 2005. (Nil disparity would mean the Gini index would be ‘zero’; maximum disparity would mean the Gini index would be ‘100’). India has a middle class which keeps suffering in the space of public delivery of services in dignified silence.

It comes as no surprise that begging is an invariable part of life and is an art practised in both the countries. However, it is far more sophisticated in Italy. Boarding a train, one could find a pretty young lady claiming to be deserted by her boy-friend openly seeking money to raise her kids. On the streets of Florence, one could encounter statuesque artists dressed up in plaster-of-paris-like costumes, seeking alms.

History and GeographyVitruvianMan

Historically, India had been mostly ruled by the Mughals and the British. Italy had been under the influence of Austria, France and Germany. Both were cobbled together by several princely states, distinct kingdoms or regions coming together.

Geographically, both countries have similar profiles. Italy has the Alps on its Northern side, just like India has the Himalayas. Sea beaches are in abundance in both the countries. Italy shares its borders with France, Switzerland, Austria and Slovenia. India does so with China, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Myanmar, Bhutan and Nepal. In fact, Andaman and Nicobar share a maritime boundary with Thailand and Indonesia.Luciano_Pavarotti

Fine Arts and Science

Both Italy and India have had truly illustrious people in the realm of fine arts, literature, sculpture and science. If Italy can boast of Leonardo da Vinci, Galileo Galilei, Enrico Fermi and Dante, India can talk of Aryabhatt, C V Raman, J C Bose and Rabindranath Tagore. If Italy has Pavarotti, India has Pandit Jasraj and M S Subbalakshmi. If Italy stakes claim to as many as 47 UNESCO World Heritage sites, India does it for 29.

Language, Religion and Regional InitiativesPandit_Jasraj

Italian language has several dialects. Indians cope with as many as 26 scheduled languages, many of which have several dialects.

More than 91% of Italians are Christians. India has Hindus, Sikhs, Muslims, Christians and Jains as major groups of a diverse religious landscape.

Italy is a founding member of NATO and EU. India had espoused the cause of Panchsheel and is a founding member of BRICS. Italy is home to the Vatican. India is home to diverse ethnic groups and religions. Both are held to be important regional powers.

Architectural and Artistic Elegance

India boasts of the Taj Mahal which took 16 years to build. Italy boasts of St. Peter’s Basilica which took 120 years to get compTajleted. India has the Qutab Minar; Italy has the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

The difference surely lies in the attention paid towards maintenance of museums, heritage buildings and the exquisite paintings and sculptures Italy possesses. Visiting ‘The Last Supper’ by Leonardo da Vinci in Milan, one would notice the exquisite care with which the humidity and temperature are controlled in the hall containing the famous fresco. The care with which Michelangelo’s original masterpiece of ‘David’ is maintained in a Florence museum is something to be learnt from.

In India, tourists keep defacing the Ajanta and Ellora murals as well as all historical monuments with utter disregard and impDavid_von_Michelangelounity, slowly destroying a very rich heritage that the country possesses.

Lessons in Governance

When it comes to governing the ungovernable, there is a lot that Italy can learn from India. The latter has unique expertise in managing a complex country which can justifiably boast of flourishing black markets, mobsters, super-slow courts, crooked politicians, warring business families, hosting mega religious gatherings like the Kumbh Mela, cities which think they are states, states which believe they are independent countries and regions which believe they are continents.

Coming back to the marines imbroglio, diplomacy has won the day. Both Italy and India have managed to avoid embarrassing each other in international forums.The_Last_Supper

One has no doubt that despite occasional friction which is the hallmark of a deeper engagement, the two countries will continue with their courtship for a long time to come!

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Puducherry 2025 – A Traveller’s Memoirs

March 16, 2013 by ashokbhatia

ashokbhatia's avatarashokbhatia

As the jetliner from Paris made its way to Puducherry, I turned nostalgic. When I had left it for greener pastures abroad, little had I June 2010 99imagined that it would take me close to twenty years to return to the town! I had left it as a semi-retired private sector honcho, and was now returning to my home base along with my wife Usha and grand-daughters Suman and Shalini. Looking out of the small window, I pointed out Matrimandir in the distance to Suman, who seemed pretty excited. The bluish-green waters of the Bay of Bengal below were shimmering in the setting sun, and a flock of pristine white seagulls was flapping along below us.

Once we landed, immigration and customs formalities got over pretty soon. The swank new international terminal looked like a smaller version of the Charles De Gaulle terminal in Paris. There were sign boards directing us to the…

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The ‘N’ of Management

March 14, 2013 by ashokbhatia

NETWORKING

It is great to be the part of a clique. But there is a flip side. The go-between you choose to introduce you to the big-wig might have his own axe to grind! Best is to call the big-wig cold, and keep in touch with your network to keep a tab on what is happening.

NAY-SAYERS

Try to be a ‘No-man’ and you will find that it is much more fun than being a ‘Yes-man’! It shows independence of thinking. It ensures that your boss notices you faster and values you better than your peers. Also, it may open up a new approach to solving the problem at hand.

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An Ode to Our Elders

March 7, 2013 by ashokbhatia

You have wiped our tears with your gentle hands,

The core values of togetherness, love and sharing we understand;

You have been the catalyst of change in our lives day by day,

Ultimately enabling all of us to become what we are today.

 

Your understanding and compassion has made us brave,

Exploring new frontiers and facing situations grave;

Your tireless guidance has made us take an adventurous flight,

 Always propelling us like a beam from darkness to light.

 

As children safe within the warmth of your embrace,

Through all the trials and tribulations that we face;

Protected from the cold careless world outside,

We know that under your wings we could still run and hide.

 

God has taken care and reached us through you,

Nurturing, grooming and guiding us as and when due;

You are the angels, who have fallen from the sky,

To fix our wings whenever we cannot fly.

 

May the radiance of your thoughts and values never fade or go away,

Forever illuminating our paths like the millions of stars in the Milky Way;

Continuing to regale us like a beautiful and soothing rainbow in the sky,

So our coming generations shall always strive to make the things okay.

 

The sun-eyed children have already broken the caste-n-creed gloom,

Like morning stars the new buds have begun to bloom;

They shall wrestle with destiny and make their own way,

Their forceful tread shall make Earth pleasant and gay.

 

Feet echoing in the corridors of Time, no chance to excel shall they miss,

They shall be full of wisdom, sweetness, might and bliss;

Their lips shall chant new mantras to uplift the soul,

Aspiring for divinity, they shall realize a higher goal.

 

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WHY I ADMIRE EUROPE!

February 27, 2013 by ashokbhatia

When I say I admire Europe, I am not referring to the natural beauty it has on offer, right from the fjords in Norway to the Alps straddling Switzerland. Nor am I talking about the excellent civic infrastructure it has built up, backed by a deeply ingrained civic sense amongst a vast majority of its inhabitants.EU Flag image

I believe that Europe happens to be a great crucible of experimentation in the area of global governance, already practicing models which are likely to shape up the way humanity would control its global affairs in the times to come. Also, over the past few centuries, it has played a crucial role in a renaissance of sorts in the field of science and technology. It has done so by assimilating, enriching and disseminating major breakthroughs in science, making it accessible to the whole of humanity.

The European Union

The EU is an interesting organization. Of its 27 members, 22 have abolished passport controls under the Schengen pact. Only 17 share a common currency. They have a common market and work towards free movement of goods, services, capital and people and a common security policy. People cross over to Germany, splurge on goods there, claim a refund of excess VAT paid and drive back into Switzerland.  There are a plethora of bureaucratic bodies which govern various aspects of a citizen’s life, while maintaining a distinct regional identity of their own. The continent also has nation-states like Luxemburg and Vatican City.

Recently, EU won the Nobel Peace Prize, indicating the potential an association of diverse nations has. Asia is already taking some baby steps towards aggregation, and one hopes a similar arrangement would pave the way for cessation of hostilities and for disabling the man-made borders in not so distant a future.

A Living Laboratory of the World

The future is the model of transnational cooperation that EU represents. Globalization is a process that enhances interdependence across the world. For such interdependence to produce in welfare but not chaos and frustration, the world needs governance structures that mediate this interdependence. As to how, guidance comes from EU’s myriad bureaucracies, apart from accepted transnational bodies such as the UN, the IMF and the WTO. Then we have the WEF, contributing to the thought processes aimed at improving governance globally.

Enriching Knowledge

In fact, scientists and thinkers in Europe borrowed key concepts from other civilizations of yore, built upon the same, and refined the way we look at the universe today.

The mathematical foundation of Western science is a gift from the Indians, Chinese, Arabs, Babylonians and the Mayans. Planetary astronomy also began with the Indians, developed further by the Chinese. Arabs built the first observatories. Five thousand years ago, the Sumerians said the earth was circular. In the sixth century, a Hindu astronomer established the reasons for the rising and setting of the sun.

Chinese alchemists realized that most physical substances were merely combinations of other substances, which could be mixed in different proportions. Islamic scholars are legendary for translating scientific texts of many languages into Arabic. Iron suspension bridges came from Kashmir, paper making from China, Tibet, India and Baghdad and printing from India, the Quechan Indians of Peru were the first to vulcanize rubber; Andean farmers were the first to freeze-dry potatoes.

European explorers depended heavily on Indian and Filipino shipbuilders, and collected sea-charts from Javanese and Arab merchants. The Mayans invented zero about the same time as the Indians, and practised a math and astronomy far beyond that of medieval Europe. Native Americans built pyramids and other structures which were larger than anything then in Europe.

Preserving and Propagating Knowledge

Europe has had a successful brush with Renaissance, which also covered the entire gamut of art and culture. State of art centers of learning came up, accompanied by libraries and research outfits. CERN is the latest feather in its cap. Above all, a patent regime got introduced. As someone who has dealt with intellectual property registrations the world over, in Europe I invariably dealt with a robust system of trademark laws. Most other countries have designed their own patent regimes based on the European system. This made our technical and scientific advances publically available, thereby ensuring that knowledge was not lost to humanity for posterity, like it happened in India where it got confined to limited circles.

Mighty Challenges Ahead

It would be naïve to believe that all is hunky-dory on the European front. Protectionism appears to be on the upswing. Whether it is immigration, transnational trade or environment, contentious issues are getting addressed only with restrictive policies. In quite a few countries – like in Greece, Italy, France, Spain, Austria and Denmark – right-wing sentiments appear to be on the rise. There is a clear tendency to discourage immigration, thereby accusing ‘outsiders’ of pinching jobs and being a ‘drain’ on the resources. UK is already at loggerheads with Romania and Bulgaria, and the issue may well land up at the doorstep of the European Commission.

The Euro’s roller coaster ride is another area of concern. Experts point out that for its long-term survival, a fiscal and banking union would be essential. However, without a more effective political union, this would not be possible. There could be two scenarios resulting into a heightened state of political engagement in the continent – either a visionary leadership with a statesman-like approach to problem solving, or a super-ordinate threat of some kind. As a well-wisher, one would like only the former possibility to fructify!

Real globalization lies in an interdependence which leads to a fundamental shift in our attitude towards fellow inhabitants of Mother Earth, recognizing each other’s equitable rights to the limited resources available to aggregate humanity. An equitable distribution also makes eminent economic sense, and that is what gives one hope of a truly globalized world order coming about sometime in the future.

In the immediate future, Scotland could soon be negotiating subsidiarity directly with the EU. So could Sindh and Chittagong in a South Asian confederation. By living out the pains of experimenting with transnational coordination, the EU leads the humanity’s quest for an effective governance of globalization.

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THE AGE OF PROFANITIES AND INTERNET-IONAL VULGARITY

February 23, 2013 by ashokbhatia

We appear to be living in an age of profanities and vulgarity. Be it our advertisements or movies, the content is becoming increasingly bold. If self-restraint does not get exercised soon, we could end up becoming a society of the most frustrated youth, forever on the lookout for an easy outlet for its innate urges and profane tendencies. The world-wide-web already has us in a thrall, leading to an exponential increase in the influence of these forms of entertainment.

Titillation and Commercial Success 

Cinematic content these days makes one rather immune to all the dare-and-bare acts. After an overdose of cleavages and thunder thighs, one only carries a feeling of contempt and disgust. Show of skin has become a necessary evil, the language has become expletive-laden and the lyrics somewhat soul-less. Titillation leading to commercial success is surely the name of the game today; social mores and cultural values appear to have taken a back seat.

From the days of delicate handling of romantic overtures (like Mughal-e-Azam, Guide and several others), we now have petite heroines mouthing profanities in movies like Who Killed Jessica, Ishqia et al.the-dirty-picture-02-s

In The Dirty Picture, in a particularly offensive shot, the heroine’s tummy is demonstrated to be effective in converting a raw egg into a half-fried version! Our hapless housewives who in the recent past were chasing a higher quota of subsidized cooking gas would surely approve of this environment friendly way of discharging their cooking responsibilities.

Lure, Offend and Succeed!

The advertising has become crude and offensive. In the 1980’s, Doordarshan used to beam the serial Ramayan into our drawing rooms. During breaks, it would also show a simple ad of Mala-D, a contraceptive pill for women. Once my daughter, all of four years then, was prompted to openly wonder if Sita-ji used Mala-D tablets to ensure that she conceived Luv and Kush only after a gap of more than fourteen years!

These days, we have enticing and naughty ads of condoms being promoted on some channels, depicting PYTs with hour-glass figures seductively disrobing themselves while sashaying down into a bedroom. One really pities today’s poor parents who have to answer a barrage of searching questions from curious children while keeping a straight face.

In the 1990’s, a Cadbury advertisement showed a comely nymph rushing into a cricket field and breaking into an impromptu jig, while another one promoting Liril soap was depicted dancing her way into our hearts under a waterfall. Now, we have a young Nokia user scaring an ‘aunty’ by displaying rash driving skills on his phone, while a Pepsi campaign keeps aside any pretensions of decorum and mocks the Indian cricket team!

Internet-ional Advertising

Entry of internet is proving to be a game changer. Marketing plans are increasingly being tweaked to use this platform, so as to reach the target segments more effectively. Despite the restricted availability of broadband in India, young and old alike are getting addicted to internet at a faster pace.

Increasingly, brands are getting wired to digital space. The creative juices of our advertising honchos now appear to be targeting social media platforms, and TV appears to be grudgingly yielding precious space and revenue to the web. Eventually, the two are getting together, offering a seamless experience to today’s highly connected generation.

According to YouTube sources, more than 70% of its viewers in India are less than 35 years of age. Also, 30% of its views in India are through mobile phones. This indicates the potential of penetration internet has in the marketing and advertising space.

Several prominent brands have faced the music over indecent content in their promos on the web. Smart ones have been quick to apologize and withdraw such content. Goes on to show that there is a limit to which sex and violence can help in selling products and services. The belief that higher ‘shock value’ results into higher sales in the long run is a doubtful proposition.

Is Audience Really The King?

Speak to either a movie maker or an advertising honcho, and the argument invariably is that they have a need to ‘connect’ with the younger audiences these days. But, can one really blame it all on the audience? For every “Rowdy Rathore”, a “Ferrari Ki Savaari” also hits the screens. There are several advertisements one can easily enjoy with the entire family.

According to Internet and Mobile Association of India (IMAI), only around 121 million of 1.2 billion Indians are logged on to the web. Of these, only 2% 0r 2.2 million in rural India have access to the same. We are therefore talking of urban, young and tech-savvy audience which is said to be at the helm of defining what is popular in culture and content. One would rather admire today’s youth who have the courage of conviction to stand up for probity and justice for many of our social ills, much unlike their earlier generation.

In their relentless pursuit of higher visibility and better margins, most makers of movies and advertisements go for higher ‘shock value’ in their products. Our cultural values and a basic sense of decency appear to have gone into oblivion. Those who create content appear to be placing a higher premium on salaciousness and commerce rather than on civility and social mores.

Twenty Years Hence!

Twenty years down the road, when the babies brought up in present obscenity-ridden times become discerning adults, and when the youth of today assume the status of ‘uncles’ and ‘aunties’, the trend may well reverse itself. The need for our dream merchants and creative minds then would be to ‘connect’ with a different profile of target audience, possibly brining in products which are more sober and decent in their content. One does hope for the same!

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A Globe-Trotter’s Guide to Some Funny Laws!

February 15, 2013 by ashokbhatia

By nature, laws tend to be rather complicated. Try navigating through any law that interests you, and there are good chances that you would give up trying to make some sense of it within the first five pages.

The reason laws tend to be holistic and hence appear to be difficult is not only because they have to address issues which are themselves complex. They also need to take care of human ingenuity which knows no bounds. Make a law and you will notice how those impacted by it try to avoid as well as evade it, either taking advantage of some loophole or by a creative interpretation of some innocuous provision in the law. Governments all over the world grapple with this menace by trying to make laws stricter, thereby getting into a vicious cycle of sorts.   Cartoon Lawyer

Admittedly, our laws are drawn up by brainy birds who apparently consume quite a lot of fish in their lifetime. They have the mental stamina to keep churning out reams and reams of sections, sub-sections and sub-sub-sections. One is truly in awe of lawyers who possess an elephantine memory and quote various provisions of law verbatim at an appropriate time in any given context. Quite a few of the laws, even though designed to address a specific problem faced by society at a given point in time, fade from public memory; then there are some which are never seriously enforced.

But all laws need not always be serious. There are several laws all over the world which could appear to be amusing to a globe-trotter as long as he/she does not get caught on the wrong side of the same. To the local inhabitants, though, most have become a part of everyday life. Here is a random sample which could possibly be of interest to you.

  • In Victoria, Australia, you would need a licensed electrician to change a bulb. Technically qualified people from developing countries can perhaps increase their earnings manifold by migrating to Down Under.
  • In Singapore, you may be allowed to chew your gum, but are not expected to leave behind the gooey remains in a public place. To avoid getting penalized, you are expected to stick the remains to a trash can.
  • In Thailand, you are not allowed to leave your home without wearing your underwear. All the manufacturers of inner wear surely have sound marketing strategies for that territory, tapping its innate potential to the hilt.  Cartoon Traffic cop
  • In South Korea, traffic police are required by law to report all bribes that they receive from motorists. One can never be sure about the authenticity of reports getting filed there, but this should make the traffic police in some other countries sit up and take notice.
  • In India, under Section 497 of the Indian Penal Code, only males can be sent to jail for adultery. The females may continue with whatever liberties they wish to take. All feminists in India who are crying hoarse and seeking stricter laws to protect the gentler sex – whether at home or outside – would do well to also demand an equal treatment in this regard.
  • In South Africa, young people wearing bathing suits are prohibited from sitting less than 12 inches apart. If you are planning a honeymoon trip to South Africa, better watch out.Cartoon Teeth Brushing
  • Kids living in Russia are apparently much happier than their counterparts elsewhere on this planet. It is illegal there to brush one’s teeth more than two times a day. Surely, this dims the business prospects of MNCs dealing in global toothpaste brands and wishing to diversify into Russian markets.
  • If you happen to be in Sweden, and have amorous tendencies, do not think of availing the services of a prostitute; unless, of course, you wish to experience the environment in a Swedish prison.
  • In Germany, it is illegal to stop – as well as to run out of gas – on an autobahn. Filling up enough gas before hitting an autobahn is highly recommended.
  • Same restrictions apply in Switzerland as well. In addition, it is a country where you can truly relish your Sundays, lazing about in front of the TV. On Sundays, you can neither wash your car nor dispose off your garbage. Much to the discomfiture of spouses, you can neither mow a lawn nor vacuum the household! Also, if you decide to have a leisurely bath or happen to flush your toilet after 10 PM, you run the risk of being visited by the police.
  • In Portugal, it is illegal to pee in the ocean. On the contrary, in India, one may respond to nature’s call virtually anywhere without causing any eyebrows to be raised. May be that partially explains why the Portuguese decided to capture Goa in India in 1510 AD – perhaps to enjoy unbridled freedom from this law!Cartoon Hillary Clinton
  • France sprung a pleasant surprise this year by withdrawing a ban on women wearing trousers. It was a ban which came into force after the French Revolution to prevent women from masquerading as men. It is understood that it was partially rolled back in 1892 and also in 1909, allowing women to wear trousers when riding a bicycle or a horse. Of late, the fact that the former French First Lady Carla Bruni, German Chancellor Angela Merkel and the former US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton had displayed their unmistakable preference for wearing pantsuits might have prompted the policy makers in France to rethink on the issue, resulting into the ban being revoked.
  • If you are in the noble profession of teaching in Arkansas in USA and are a descendent of Eve, you better keep your hair long and plaited, so as to get an annual raise in your package. If you commit the blunder of going in for bobbed hair, local law ordains that you shall not get a raise.
  • In Idaho, USA, it is illegal to give your sweetheart a box of candy weighing smaller than 50 lbs. How all the sweethearts there manage to keep their body weight under control is an area which should concern all food and nutrition researchers.Cartoon beggingimages
  • If you happen to be a beggar by profession, you would do well to relocate to Washington DC in USA. Begging is recognized as a fundamental right out there, protected by the Constitution. So you do not risk facing the wrath of any law enforcing agencies.
  • In Mexico, any kind of nude artistic display is illegal. This would be music to the ears of the puritans who hounded M F Husain out of India, leaving the much acclaimed artist rooting for a dignified return to his homeland till the time he died in 2011.
  • We understand that you cannot plan your death. However, if you think you are anywhere close to kicking the bucket, make sure that you are not in the Houses of Parliament in England, where it is illegal to die. Some of the other places where the same rule applies are:Cartoon Grave
    • Biritiba-Mirim in Brazil,
    • Le Lavandou, Cugnaux and Sarpourenx in France,
    • Longyearbyen, the largest settlement in the Arctic archipelago of Svalbad in Norway, and
    • Lanjaron ìn Spain.

And in the following places, you may neither die nor deliver a baby:

    • Island of Delos in Greece,
    • Island of Itsukushima in Japan!

There is great merit in any country keeping a few ridiculous laws. For the common man, flouting them is an easy way to gain a celebrity status while not committing a heinous crime. In turn, this leaves the much burdened police force to take care of more serious matters. Also, such laws keep the collective sense of humour of a country alive, thereby improving public health in no uncertain terms!

Legal Disclaimers

1. The list of laws mentioned in the article is merely indicative.

2. The illustrations used in the article are drawn from diverse sources and are not owned by the author.

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