ashokbhatia

“Any serious meeting in the office today – looking very tense?” asked my wife while handing over the daily nourishment to me in a lunch box. “No”, I replied diffidently, slipping into the driver’s seat of my newly acquired hatchback. “It is the 90-minute drive to the office that is bugging me!”

My mind went back to the days when one could enjoy a peaceful cruise on the roads. Old world chivalry, basic decency and courtesy towards co-travelers were still alive those days. However, despite radical improvements in infrastructure of the metro I live in, driving has now become quite a nightmare. These days, it requires a unique combination of myriad skills and attitudes to navigate one’s way through the crowded roads. One’s ego has to be kept in suspended animation. Dexterity, flexibility, empathy, receptivity and humility have to be counter-balanced with aggressiveness and selective apathy. While on the road, one has to expect the unexpected. A penchant for predicting the behavior of others on the road has become a pre-requisite. Moreover, it has to be backed by a deep faith in the Divine without whose blessings one could not make it hassle-free to one’s destination!

It was with immense faith in the heart and a silent prayer on my lips that I drove out of the compound of the complex we lived in. Inside, my heart was all a-twitter, not knowing what was in store for me on the roads on this fateful day! I felt more like an Arjuna entering the battlefield of Kurukshetra, sans – of course – a benevolent guide like Krishna! As I summoned my courage and eased my car into the morning rush on the main road, a cacophony of sounds greeted me.

“Zoom…” came a sound and I was startled to find that a motorcycle rider had decided to overtake me in a hurry from the left hand side. At the very same time, I found another spirited rider overtaking me from the right hand side as well! I maneuvered the car in such a way as to not to harm either of them. Both, of course, sped off, with their truck-like horns blaring at full volume.

Finding a red traffic light ahead, I stopped. After two more changes from red to green, the car fellow behind me started tooting his horn impatiently. The horn became even more strident when the LED counter showed 15 seconds yet to go for the signal to turn green. I could empathize with him, but surely he could see that there was no way I could have helped him to speed up his journey? Unless, of course, our cars had wings!

Just as the traffic light turned green, a bunch of school kids decided to cross the road, leaving us waiting for an opportunity to resume our journey. Mean while, a cycle fellow scraped through the right side of my car, giving the car a nice bath of sambhar and rasam carried in a protruding lunch box. His wife would surely be unhappy to hear of this, I thought. While I was pitying him, he passed me by, looking at me with piercing eyes, daggers drawn, blaming me for all his travails!

After persevering with my journey at a snail’s pace for some more time, an auto rickshaw overflowing with students scraped violently through the left side of the car. Faced with the ferocity of the traffic coming from the other side, I had no room to shift the car to the right side.  In the process, I denied him the freedom to hurry off in an atmosphere of peaceful co-existence. The result was a big dent on both the left side doors. By the time I rolled down my glass window to lodge an ineffective protest, he yelled, hurled some invectives at me and sped off on his errand.

On one of the arterial roads, the audacity with which the bus driver in front of me kept swerving his vehicle from left to right left me quite befuddled. Surely, he aspired to drive a compact car instead! Unable to avoid an open manhole on the road, I could somehow step on the accelerator, thereby propelling the car across the abyss.

Every time I drive, I find a true manifestation of democracy on our roads. Other than the free-for-all that best espouses the cause of freedom of expression, changing lanes is deemed to be a fundamental right. To find either a cow or a buffalo in the center of a busy road, chewing their dose of nourishment with a soulful expression on their meditative countenance, is quite the norm. Pedestrians shooting across a busy road with an unwavering faith that God will take care of their safety is humbling, to say the least.

One of the most amazing transformations that I have noticed is when we sit behind a steering wheel. We believe we are invincible and a cut above the rest. We treat ourselves to illusions of grandeur by bestowing upon ourselves the right to be the first amongst equals, thereby jostling for space, changing lanes at free will, turning without proper signaling and generally behaving as if we are God’s gift to mankind.

We are obliged to show due respect to the buses and trucks pouncing upon us menacingly. We are also expected to be deferential in our treatment of those who prefer to walk across the road carelessly, as also of those on bicycles who show a sudden inclination to turn either way without any signal whatsoever. To those who drive with full headlights on even during day time, we had better show our goodness and concede space for them to pass us by. Even after following the protocol in a sincere manner, there are no guarantees that one’s vehicle would remain unharmed. Well, this is what Krishna taught us – to do our duty and not to get attached to the fruits of our action!

The Mother of Shri Aurobindo Ashram has listed the following twelve qualities which a spiritual aspirant should possess: Sincerity, Humility, Gratitude, Perseverance, Aspiration, Receptivity, Progress, Courage, Goodness, Generosity, Equality and Peace. One can readily see that almost all of these qualities come in handy when driving on our roads. This is what prompts me to conclude that regular driving on Indian roads leads one to faster spiritual growth in life!

Coming back to the day under reference, by the time I drove into the car park at the office, I was sweating and feeling drained of all energy. With a heavy heart, I inspected the damage the car had suffered. I felt grateful that it had helped me to survive another day of the war on the roads. As I got into the elevator looking forward to savoring the morning cup of tea in the office, I was wondering how that mighty warrior Arjuna would have fared in this war!

If the streets of the most popular democracy – USA – are said to be paved with gold, the configuration of the most populated democracy of the world – India – offers a unique opportunity for a traveler to this part of the world to evolve into a truly spiritual soul. Any globe-trotter who is a keen learner can pick up valuable lessons in India – spiritual as well as managerial.

One thing that baffles the Western mind is the wide range of Hindu Gods that most Indians venerate. Going a little deeper, however, he realizes that there are Gods with specializations in resolving problems of a particular kind; that there is a near perfect division of work between the various Godheads. Eventually, the value of remaining focused and getting problems resolved through a higher level of intervention dawns upon the traveler.  This also gives him a precious clue as to how Indians cope up with the chaos all around them in almost all spheres of their lives.

Repeated visits to the local immigration department soon make him learn the value of patience, forbearance and equanimity – to not to get unduly perturbed over inordinate delays in getting things done. The long winding lines for any public facility offer an opportunity to learn the need to surrender to the Divine Will – things will happen only when they are destined to be!

The value of having unwavering faith is learnt by witnessing the absolute lack of either civic sense or discipline in public areas. Frequent power cuts soon motivate the weary traveler to remain in tune with Mother Nature, synchronizing his body clock with that of the solar system.

On days of local festivities, loudspeakers blaring during the dead of the night make the traveler learn the value of pro-active and aggressive communication, a talent without which any promotional campaign in the media would turn out to be a big flop.

The great Indian family system leads the visitor to understand and learn the true value of bonding. Those who are fond of wines and liquors soon realize the value of practicing zero tolerance to wastage, especially when they see their Indian hosts not resting till the last drop in a bottle has been used up.

All travelers are wonder struck when they see a puffed up chapatti. Also, they learn inventory management and multi-tasking by merely watching Indian housewives in action! There is seldom a stock out in the kitchens. With unconditional love and devotion to their husband and children, they offer the tourist an insight into practicing saintliness in their daily chores.

The Indian shopkeepers, the auto drivers and the traveling public are great educationists in their own right. The traveler is quickly made to learn some basic lessons in attentiveness and patience. If the traveler decides to instead go around the city on a self driven two-wheeler, he learns to manage uncertainty – by dodging the odd cyclist who crosses his path in a single-minded pursuit of attaining eternal bliss, by avoiding a polyethylene wrapper which comes out of the window of a car just upfront, or by giving way to a spittle from an uncaring passenger in the window seat of the bus ahead!

The Indian pedestrians who cross the road without looking at traffic heading their way demonstrate to the traveler their abiding faith in the Divine and the trust they repose in the vehicle driver’s skills. Not to be left behind, the Indian drivers keep overtaking vehicles from the wrong side, teaching the value of humility and empathy. Long distance bus and truck drivers  who nimbly maneuver their overloaded vehicles on our not so broad highways demonstrate the value of sincerity of purpose.

The Indian four-legged animals teach the wayfarer the value of forbearance and equal opportunity for all. Despite suffering ill-treatment daily in silence, they thrive on chewing whatever comes their way. These animals do not have any franchisee rights under our Constitution; nevertheless, they practice democracy, by demonstrating their equal rights on the Indian highways and roads.

A globe-trotter will surely not get a free lunch in India. However, he does get all this learning, absolutely free of charge!

As I get up after a leisurely sleep, I smell the faint aroma of filter coffee wafting in from the kitchen. The birds are merrily chirping outside. Gentle sunrays are streaming in from the window. I look out of the window and find the flowers in full bloom. The sky is a pristine azure, with a couple of cirrus clouds lazing about. A flock of parrots is making its way towards the beach nearby. It appears that God is in heaven and all is well with the world.

Having spent thirty five years in the private sector, I had recently taken a voluntary retirement. I wondered if I had really lived life in those thirty five years. Sure enough, it was a useful phase. It brought in not only material gains but also immense learning at all stages. But when did our children grow up and fly out of the nest? Did I get to truly enjoy their company? Did I share their pangs of growth? I wondered if I really spent much quality time with my family!

As to the better half, we have been married for close to thirty three years now. When I look back at those years, I realize the invaluable bond that we have built up between ourselves. The unspoken word often conveys what we want to say to each other. A mere gesture is enough to communicate. Through the crests and the troughs of life, we have sailed together, facing many challenges and pursuing our goals in life. This is not to say that we have not had our share of differences and quarrels. Possibly, that is how life got spiced up at frequent intervals!

Realization dawns that I have so far not cared much for my life partner. Work was always top priority. One was predisposed to bring into the home a lot of emotional baggage – one’s attitude, work habits, frustrations on the job and personality clashes. There was a ready explanation for all the cancelled vacations. As a business executive, one was always used to being waited upon, rather than being kept waiting. It was a birth right to get annoyed at a minor delay in food being served, or in case of any minor aberration in the conduct of domestic affairs.

For a parent teacher meeting to be attended at children’s school, it was clear who would volunteer. Right from caring for aging parents and looking after the needs of all family members, my wife had handled it all. Parties thrown by my friends could never be passed up. However, as to her friends, there was neither any mention nor any trace in all these years. She always ensured that there was never a stock out of tea leaves in the kitchen. If there is ever a MBA course mooted with specialization in multi-tasking, she would surely merit a gold medal!

The initial years were spent in understanding each other. In middle age, family concerns took over. Children’s education, parent’s health, stints abroad to beef up financial resources, creation of a modest assert base and such mundane concerns took centre stage. Eventually, parents passed on to their heavenly abode. Children got married off. Annual visits by them and our grand children are times we both now look forward to.

Sure enough, the past cannot be undone. Perhaps there is an opportunity now to make some amends and to rediscover each other? The future can surely be used to re-bond and to revisit our likes and dislikes. By spending some quality time with each other, we can start realizing the contours of our spirits and our inner beings.

Breaking my reverie, a gentle call emanates from the kitchen. I realize that I am being summoned to pick up the tray containing two steaming cups of coffee and some cookies. The day’s newspapers are already waiting in the front porch. I resolve to give her a surprise the next morning and get up earlier to make the morning coffee. Her happiness would be much more than worth the effort. With this resolution, I troop into the kitchen to do my bidding.  

Our spiritual honeymoon has just begun!

Ashok Kumar Bhatia

(akb_usha@rediffmail.com)