Never did Bertie imagine seeing such a mess in his life,
Eagerly waiting for Drones to reopen so loneliness gets over;
Target practicing with darts is a skill which is getting rusted,
Bingo Little has time to sit together but cannot come over.
Back-slapping, hugging and shaking hands is a strict no-no,
Chatting over phone alone sounds a safer proposition;
Telegraph services to-and-fro nephews no longer work,
Aunts use video calls, trying to change their matrimonial disposition.
Roads are virtually free but a drive to Brighton is ruled out,
Peggy receives from Miss Tomlinson online grace;
Kid Clementina is missing the fun of putting sherbet in ink pots,
Prudence Baxter awaits her next egg and spoon race.
Aunt Dahlia is unable to invite nephews and nieces for meals,
Though Anatole is ready and willing to offer many a lavish spread;
Uncle Tom is delighted at Milady’s Boudoir being in a limbo,
Amidst lockdowns losing his silver collection he does not dread.
Friends like Gussie Fink Nottle have ample time to study newts,
Madeline has bouts of insomnia and looks at stars all night long;
Roderick Spode is busy launching on a new Eulalie line with masks,
While Cora Bollinger practices a rappy version of Sonny Boy song.
Sir Roderick Glossop is frightfully busy attending to loony coves,
Dr Murgatroyd has a long list of patients with red spots;
Dr Sally is immune to proposals over WhatsApp while on duty,
Doctor Hailsham takes a pound a day off you with his vegan shots.
Lord Emsworth freely potters about in his gardens,
With Parva School Treat Day off, peace and relaxation he elicits;
The Empress in the pink of health, savouring her 57,800 calories,
Freddie peddling online some immunity-boosting Dog Joy biscuits.
Aline Peters has money but is looking for ways to spend it,
Joan Valentine has no money and would do anything to be paid;
Ashe Marson does Larsen exercises on the roof top these days,
He and Joan avoid kissing on the lawns, saddening a scullery maid.
Life is like a drink which they all keep drinking deeply from,
A cup in which the beetle of a virus floats with all its variations;
Or, gorging on a green salad on top of which rests a caterpillar,
Demanding an apology from anyone trying to disturb its meditations!
They appear to be adjusting quickly to their travails,
In Plumsville, the Principle of Peaceful Coexistence prevails;
All this may sound ironic but wisdom is in being positive,
And, when it comes to Coronavirus, testing negative!
(Illustrations courtesy Kevin Cornell)
(Related Posts:
https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2020/07/25/the-corona-gladiators-proposal-for-a-plummy-movie)
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Well conceived, just about covers every character! Notable absentees are Jeeves, Bobby Wickham, a host of Mulliners and Ukridge!
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Thank you!
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