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ashokbhatia's avatarashokbhatia

The Royal Academy of Goofy Technologies is hereby pleased to announce the results of its ambitious research project mooted four years back to come up with out-of-the-box ideas to treat the dreaded affliction of depression.

The results are based on an extensive study involving 5,100 adults of all age groups, conducted across as many as thirty countries of the world, spanning all the continents.

The study was spearheaded by Roberta Wickham and Stephanie Byng, First Fellows of the Academy, under the direct supervision of eminent loony doctor Sir Roderick Glossop, a Royal Fellow and also the Dean of Academics of the Academy.

Part of the findings have been vetted and endorsed by such celebrity spouses as Bingo Little.PGWodehouse

Some Plummy techniques to beat those blues

Denizens of Plumsville are already aware of the following techniques to drive depressive tendencies away:

  • Devouring the soothing works of P…

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Female Power

ashokbhatia's avatarashokbhatia

Females of almost all species would go to any lengths to protect their cubs. If you falter, they would be quick to tick you off. Let someone else get funny with you, and see how they react.

Never have qualms about reporting to the fairer sex. Take it easy. They are far more professional (and also compassionate) than you imagine. Multi-tasking comes easy to them, what with their having to juggle various roles with aplomb at all times – being a daughter, a wife, a mother, a home maker, a daughter-in-law, and a company executive at the same time. How they still manage to retain their sanity of mind is a potential subject of academic research.

Nature also gave them the exclusive rights for the perpetuation of our species. Encourage those who wish to re-start their careers after a post-delivery sabbatical.

However, managements would do well to avoid getting swayed…

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Excuses

ashokbhatia's avatarashokbhatia

How many times can you kill your mother-in-law to avail leave?! Excuses for being late to work and for excessive leaves are a sign of weakness of will power and character.

Offering excuses for a fouled up job is just not done. Be bold, accept your share of the blame, and make amends.

To help your team to grow and zoom, get out of your ivory tower, try to redress their difficulties, and demonstrate your leadership qualities.

(Excerpt from my book ‘Surviving in the Corporate Jungle’, which covers more than hundred topics of interest to managers of all hues, shapes and sizes)

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Ethics and Values

ashokbhatia's avatarashokbhatia

ethics and values

We do not necessarily need a degree from Harvard to realize the difference between right and wrong. The Moral Compass within us is capable of telling us if we are on the right path.

Human values form the inner core of our personalities. These keep nudging us to be good human beings.

If ‘Values’ are the cause, ‘Ethics’ are the effect. If our value system is in place, our outward behaviour and conduct shall be ethical. Same is true of organizations, where the underlying culture determines the response of its key managers to tough business situations.

A company which believes in human values would handle a separation differently. When ramping down a business, good performers could get helped to secure career opportunities elsewhere. A star performer who has made up her mind to leave would get treated with great respect, thereby making her a valuable brand ambassador for the company.

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Designations

ashokbhatia's avatarashokbhatia

Designations are not important in cases where the external exposure of the employee is minimal. They form the psychological part of an employee’s compensation package.

For those whose role demands an external exposure, a higher sounding designation would improve the canvas of opportunities, enabling a faster realization of the company’s goals.

For employees who have outlived their core utility in companies which believe in firing people only when there is a disaster of a nuclear nature, an improvement in designation would be an invaluable tool in the company’s Human Resources arsenal.

(Excerpt from my book ‘Surviving in the Corporate Jungle’, which covers more than hundred topics of interest to managers of all hues, shapes and sizes)

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Conflicts, Resolving

ashokbhatia's avatarashokbhatia

conflict

An executive fighting his boss

– when he feels the top dog is wrong – is a good sign.

Executives fighting between themselves in the boss’ presence is also the sure sign of a healthy work culture.

Seniors airing their difference of opinion or berating their colleagues is an unhealthy sign.

We all remember the fable of a monkey which mediated between two warring cats and gobbled up the entire piece of cheese at hand.

(Excerpt from my book ‘Surviving in the Corporate Jungle’)

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Pluminion

When fans of P G Wodehouse met up recently in Delhi, the collective cup of mirth simply flowed over. Here is a juicy report from Soumya Mukherjee which is bound to tickle your funny bone: via Pluminion.

Here is a recap of the last meeting which yours truly was fortunate enough to attend in flesh and blood.

 

Complacency

ashokbhatia's avatarashokbhatia

This is a malaise every workplace is stricken with. You may have a set of intelligent, obedient and relevant people working for you. But it is quite likely that half of them would have fallen into the trap of complacency. They would have become critical of the company/department, would be working in a comfort zone, and would be displaying a singular lack of initiative. They would no longer have the shine in their eyes and would surely not be operating on all four cylinders.

Your Human Resources honchos would be neglecting this lot at the company’s long-term peril. An antidote package could comprise a sustained program of employee engagement, elaborate mentorship, job rotation, sponsorships for advanced educational courses (either online or in the distance mode), and recreational breaks. Simply spicing up their work life would also help.

At the individual level, keep watching for signs of falling into the trap…

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ashokbhatia's avatarashokbhatia

Amongst other things, you also get paid for keeping your boss’ blood pressure under check. Pity the poor over-stressed guy and update him before he thinks of any project assigned to you. In other words, meet him halfway through.

If it is getting delayed, or worse, not getting done at all, make him an accomplice to murder by keeping him informed in advance. In case you are likely to meet your target, present him with a draft report/outcome much before the deadline.

(Excerpt from my book ‘Surviving in the Corporate Jungle’)

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ashokbhatia's avatarashokbhatia

bellcurveThe pre-dominance of the Bell Curve in performance appraisals has never been in doubt. It recognizes the fact that all people are not identical, the tasks assigned to them are different, and the environment they operate in need not be homogeneous. All organizations have their share of high performers, free riders, under-performers, and downright deadwood.

A well understood Bell Curve principle is about building meritocracy and practising a differentiated rewards strategy. It has its own limitations, especially in highly innovative outfits. However, it keeps the bar high, thereby helping an organization to scale greater heights.

(Excerpt from my book ‘Surviving in the Corporate Jungle’)

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