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Posts Tagged ‘Jeeves’

To suggest that P. G. Wodehouse championed the cause of any kind of socialist thought appears, at first glance, wholly implausible, if not mildly absurd. He is the laureate of ethereality, spreading joy, light, and sweetness through his innumerable narratives. He is a painter whose canvas comprises country houses, gentlemen’s clubs, seaside hotels, and film studios. He is the creator of characters who not only amuse and educate but also entertain us. These could be earls with wayward nieces, lordships with unique eccentricities, amiable Drone Club bachelors in doubtful engagements, obdurate aunts, and the occasional lively interloper — be it a alimony-collector, bookie, detective, insurance agent, valet, and village policeman who knows far more than the gentry imagine. Plumsville, his world, is replete with comic complications that restore themselves at the end, more or less as they began. In the bright sunshine of Plum’s subtle humour, quietly incisive wit, could an esoteric concept like social consciousness really exist?

Having devoured and admired his narratives repeatedly over the past few decades, I am often left wondering about this facet of his wordcraft; how delicately he handles questions of power, status, labour, and value. Wherever he does so, it is with kid gloves. Plum is not an in-your-face political analyst. Neither does he advance economic blueprints, nor does he sermonise about statecraft. In many of his narratives, one is apt to notice that there does exist an undercurrent of empathy for the less privileged. Seldom does he showcase the perks of following thoughts steeped in the pristine and rather idealistic stream of socialism. As a Pierre-Auguste Renoir of language, he uses pastel shades of many kinds to present to his readers a pale parabola of social consciousness.

When it comes to exposing the faultlines in the characters of the wealthy, he does not shy away. Most of his stories elevate competence above birth, applauding work that delivers satisfaction, and presenting us with small communities organised less by dominance than by a pally accommodation. Admittedly, these are not the characteristics of conventional political socialism. Instead, he comes out as a champion of egalitarian thought. Underlying most of his narratives is the conviction that title and monetary resources do not necessarily align with merit; that hierarchies can be negated and overcome by intelligence, diplomacy, and an occasional dash of cunning; and that a happy life rests more upon decency and reciprocity than upon accumulation. And if that unveils a streak of social consciousness in his works, it merits a gentle airing.

The Classes as well as the Masses

His admirers as well as critics aver that he concentrates more on the aristocracy and the eccentricities of the upper echelons of British society. However, to be fair to him, he is an author who is concerned not only about the classes but also about the masses. For instance, while Something Fresh takes a detailed look at life below the stairs, Psmith, Journalist dwells at length on the plight of those who live in the Big Apple’s slums, and the courage shown by Psmith to serve them in some way. Elsewhere, romantic alliances take place across the class divide. Or, consider the case of Bertie Wooster, who, we are told, has gone to a school that teaches the aristocracy to fend for itself in case he faces impecunious circumstances (Ring for Jeeves). In narratives like Aunts Aren’t Gentlemen and Plum Pie, denizens protest government policies. In The Inimitable Jeeves, small groups which despise the wealthy and do not mind being seen running around streets with knives dripping with their blood are brought to our notice. Fiery speeches get made, lampooning the idle rich.

I believe Rupert Psmith is the one character created by Plum who could qualify to be alluded to as a socialist in the classical mould. Note his comment on the sartorial choices of a colleague:

Why, Comrade Bristow sneaks off and buys a sort of woollen sunset. I tell you I was shaken. It is the suddenness of that waistcoat which hits you. It’s discouraging, this sort of thing. I try always to think well of my fellow man. As an energetic Socialist, I do my best to see the good that is in him, but it’s hard. Comrade Bristow’s is the most striking argument against the equality of man I’ve ever come across (Psmith in the City).

There are quite a few other characters as well who could be said to be wearing a badge of socialism on their sleeves.

We run into Syd Price (If I Were You), who is a socialist barber. He is part of a mix-up involving the aristocratic Anthony, 5th Earl of Droitwich, with whom he was accidentally swapped at birth. The plot centres on a complicated inheritance scheme involving the two men. 

We also get introduced to true-blue socialist politicians who argue against the British military system of ranks in The Swoop! and against the House of Lords in ‘Fate.’

Then we have Miss Trimble in Piccadilly Jim, a “Sogelist” in her clenched-teeth speech; Archibald Mulliner, a temporary Socialist in ‘Archibald and the Masses;’ a newspaper cartoonist referred to in The Small Bachelor; and a Socialistic schoolmistress in ‘Feet of Clay.’

Legislation of a socialistic kind gets decried in ‘Came the Dawn,’ Right Ho, Jeeves, and Jeeves and the Feudal Spirit.

Here are the main aspects to consider when examining the theme of social consciousness in his works.

A Gentle and Kindly Rebuke to Inherited Authority

Plum’s most enduring proposition is that the upper classes are not fit to rule. In the Jeeves stories, his superior intellect keeps pulling Bertie Wooster and his pals out of the kind of scrapes they keep getting into. The valet’s cool and quiet competence eventually saves the day. The plots may be exquisitely repetitive, but their social meaning is clear. Knowledge, judgement, and sheer common sense come out with flying colours. The psychology of the individual reigns supreme. Birth and inheritance may have conferred upon Bertie a large allowance, a formidable address book, and memberships in exclusive clubs, but he is often perceived as someone who is mentally negligible. If ever he decides to exert his own cerebellum to solve a problem for a pal of his, he ends up tying himself in knots and eventually needs the support of his valet to extricate himself from the mess he creates for himself and those around him. When solutions are needed, they are designed and executed by a professional whose head bulges at the back. We get to realise that each of the narratives is a gentle and kindly rebuke to inherited authority. Plum drives home his point more as a comedy rather than an ideology. The joke lands because we, the readers, instinctively recognise the underlying strains of justice.

The Blandings series paints the same theme over a broader canvas. Lord Emsworth’s endearing forgetfulness, his obsession with a pumpkin and the Empress of Blandings, and the disruptive behaviour of his relatives form the backdrop against which his suspicious secretaries, moody gardeners, conscientious pig-keepers, unwelcome guests, and impostors of all sizes and shapes keep waltzing in and out. The worth of a person is neither a title nor wealth; it is steadiness of service, the pomp and show with which it gets delivered in a methodical manner, and the gift of getting such things done as locating the master’s glasses or making a newly bought telescope yield satisfactory results. Plum may be merciless when capturing the self-importance of the aimless rich, but never mean-spirited about them as people. His satirical treatment remains humane.

Lord Emsworth might hate visiting London, but respects Gladys and her brother Ern as city-bred insouciant kids reared among the tin cans and cabbage stalks of Drury Lane and Clare Market. They could hurl stones at his Scottish gardener and even stand up to his obdurate sister. When Gladys slips one of her tiny hot hands into his, seeking protection from Angus McAllister advancing at a speed of forty-five miles per hour, he develops a spine of chilled steel. He wishes to be worthy of the lofty standards of employee discipline and servility enforced by his ancestors.

‘This young lady,’ said Lord Emsworth, ‘has my full permission to pick all the flowers she wants, McAllister. If you do not see eye to eye with me in this matter, McAllister, say so and we will discuss what you are going to do about it, McAllister. These gardens, McAllister, belong to me, and if you do not – er – appreciate that fact you will, no doubt, be able to find another employer – ah – more in tune with your views. I value your services highly, McAllister, but I will not be dictated to in my own garden, McAllister. Er – dash it,’ added his lordship, spoiling the whole effect.

One laughs, then one notices the underlying theme touching upon a socialist stream of thought (“Lord Emsworth and the Girl Friend”, Blandings and Elsewhere).

Competence as Moral Capital

Much like Jeeves, there are a host of characters who, whilst brimming with charm, occupy a morally higher ground. They are not only carriers of wisdom, but also more conscientious in the discharge of their duties. These are qualities which their superiors lack. Club stewards, rozzers, head gardeners, secretaries, and nurses reveal their steadfast characters while pushing the plot along. They deliver satisfactory results.

Consider rozzers who invariably refuse nourishment of any kind while on duty. An open display of emotions does not sit well with them. Inwardly, they squirm when told by a Justice of the Peace to lay off someone who violates the law. However, they know when to eat humble pie and quietly follow their orders.

In The Mating Season, Corky loves Esmond but will not marry him until he stands up to his domineering aunts, who disapprove of Corky because she is an actress. When the dog Sam Goldwyn is arrested by Constable Dobbs, Corky, the resourceful owner, charms Gussie Fink-Nottle into extracting him from confinement. Constable Dobbs assumes it was Catsmeat who stole the dog. Since Catsmeat happens to be his fiancée Corky’s brother, Esmond Haddock, a Justice of Peace, decides to assert himself, protect his romantic interests, and make Dobbs drop the case. He points out the slender evidence he has against the alleged accused, while dismissing Dobbs without a stain on his character.

Likewise, in Joy in the Morning, Stilton Cheesewright accuses Bertie of pinching his uniform to be able to participate in a fancy dress ball. Uncle Percy, a Justice of Peace, needs Bertie’s support in standing up to his formidable spouse, Aunt Agatha, to provide an alibi for him to have spent a night away from his living quarters at Steeple Bumpleigh. Uncle Percy refuses to sign the warrant against Bertie. In fact, he goes a step further in ticking off the cop. He laments a despicable spirit creeping into the Force – that of forgetting their sacred obligations and bringing up wild and irresponsible accusations in a selfish desire to secure promotion.

Thus, whereas aristocratic characters are frequently paralysed by pride, a feudal spirit, embarrassment, or romantic affiliations, working professionals act. They take a stand. They take responsibility. On a moral scale, they rank higher than their seniors. In Plumsville, it is their feudal spirit which often saves the day. Their loyalty to their masters scores over the latter’s wealth or inheritance.

Coming back to Blandings Castle, one finds that it takes a bevy of servants to keep things running in an orderly fashion. Below the stairs, we discover a rigid hierarchy, backed by customs and rituals which need to be scrupulously observed. Under the auspices of Mr Beach and Mrs Twemlow, things are always done properly at the Castle, with the right solemnity. There are strict rules of precedence among the servants. A public rebuke from the butler is the worst fate that can befall a defaulting member of this tribe.

When it comes to passing judgement on the state of affairs in society, they have their own mind. For example, when the matter of breach of promise cases comes up, Beach holds the following view:

And in any case, Miss Simpson,” he said solemnly, “with things come to the pass they have come to, and the juries–drawn from the lower classes–in the nasty mood they’re in, it don’t seem hardly necessary in these affairs for there to have been any definite promise of marriage. What with all this socialism rampant, they seem so happy at the idea of being able to do one of us an injury that they give heavy damages without it. A few ardent expressions, and that’s enough for them. You recollect the Havant case, and when young Lord Mount Anville was sued? What it comes to is that anarchy is getting the upper hand, and the lower classes are getting above themselves. It’s all these here cheap newspapers that does it. They tempt the lower classes to get above themselves (Something Fresh).

Plum’s narratives have a clear undercurrent: down the stairs for genuine perspiration and up the stairs for feigned inspiration. This scheme of things debunks the notion that hierarchies are justified by birth.

Comrade Psmith and the Whiff of Reform

In Psmith, Journalist, the monthly journal Cosy Moments undergoes a transformation when the suave and unflappable Rupert Psmith takes over as a voluntary subeditor. Cosy Moments is a journal for the home. It is the sort of paper which the father is expected to take home from his office and read aloud to the kids at bedtime. Its circulation is nothing to write home about. Psmith suggests a different strategy. He outlines his vision for the magazine thus:

Cosy Moments should become red-hot stuff. I could wish its tone to be such that the public will wonder why we do not print it on asbestos. We must chronicle all the live events of the day, murders, fires, and the like in a manner which will make our readers’ spines thrill. Above all, we must be the guardians of the People’s rights. We must be a search-light, showing up the dark spot in the souls of those who would endeavour in any way to do the PEOPLE in the eye. We must detect the wrong-doer, and deliver him such a series of resentful buffs that he will abandon his little games and become a model citizen.

Eventually, Psmith decides to help impecunious dwellers of poorly maintained tenements. He ends up dealing with New York’s slum landlords and crooked bosses. The tone of the narrative is airy, but the targets are not. Psmith uses Cosy Moments, the magazine he runs, to expose exploitation, cheer on reform, and defend the powerless. The satire in this narrative is not merely of the weak points in his adversaries, which he exploits with aplomb; it is of systemic injustice. Plum does not allow the narrative to curdle into earnestness, yet he reveals an unmistakable sympathy for the urban poor and a hatred of the sharp practice of those who profit from misery.

Likewise, Psmith in the City gives us a ringside view of the soul-tormenting processes of routine banking, highlighting the underlying spiritual drudgery. Rigid procedures rule, so does hierarchy. One experiences soul-deadening routine, petty tyrannies, the suffocation of youthful promise by a gigantic machine that puts a premium on conformity over talent. Tea breaks and lunch breaks are the only occasions which break the monotony. In any case, the atmosphere chimes with a wider early twentieth-century suspicion of bureaucratised capitalism. Plum can be imagined to be more amused than angry, but he is not insensitive.

Flirtations with the Left

A highly diluted version of what political purists might mistakenly allude to as socialism not only appears occasionally but is also an integral part of Plum’s cultural landscape. It is not an alien menace which deserves to be despised and discarded outright. Plum treats it as a place where excitable but good-hearted people congregate, make speeches, even if under the transient spell cast upon them by the party of the other part. He does flirt with the Left, though his trademark subtle humour arises from a kind of recognition: the Left is not monstrous, merely dramatic, and susceptible to the same follies as everyone else.

There are also moments when Plum plays directly with socialist imagery.

Bertie Wooster always seems to stumble into chaos, and protests are no exception. One day, he gets stuck in a London traffic snarl caused by an angry crowd, only to spot his former fiancée, Vanessa Cook, leading the march (Aunts Aren’t Gentlemen).

His friend Bingo Little is not much different — he once grew a beard and joined a radical group just to impress a fiery revolutionary, even going as far as to insult Bertie as an idler, a non-producer, a prowler, a trifler, and a bloodsucker. Bingo even goes on to call out his own uncle Lord Bittlesham in a speech:

And the fat one!” proceeded the chappie. “Don’t miss him. Do you know who that is? That’s Lord Bittlesham! One of the worst. What has he ever done except eat four square meals a day? His god is his belly, and he sacrifices burnt-offerings to it till his eyes bubble. If you opened that man now you would find enough lunch to support ten working-class families for a week,” he claims (‘Comrade Bingo’, The Inimitable Jeeves).

Later, while working as an editor of Wee Tots, Bingo gets dragged into another protest by a red-haired girl named Mabel, who sits down in Trafalgar Square to make headlines for her anti-bomb campaign. Bingo reluctantly joins her, gets arrested, lands in the papers, and ends up in trouble with his wife — though, as always, things somehow work out in the end (‘Bingo Bans the Bomb’, Plum Pie).

Of Hollywood, Movie and Publishing Moguls

Plum’s forays into Hollywood and publishing are perhaps among his sharpest class critiques. His narratives dispel the mystique of aristocracy associated with them and often bring into focus the raw power of capital. Megalomaniac studio bosses, slick agents, and moguls obsessed with formulas for profit become his new earls and aunts.

When a fluffy-minded Lord Emsworth pockets a fork at the Senior Conservative Club, Adams happens to check him. Aunt Dahlia may threaten to ban Bertie from her dining table, which offers lavish spreads by Anatole, if he does not do her bidding.

Likewise, an aspiring wannabe heroine Vera Prebble proves to have better negotiating skills when she outwits three studio chiefs and secures her future as a movie star. Their weakness? Well, they desperately need liquor during prohibition days for a party they are hosting at one of their places. Lord Tilbury keeps missing his former star editor, Percy Pilbeam, whose seedy society gossip had ensured soaring business for Society Spice, one of the journals published by the Mammoth Publishing Company (‘The Rise of Minna Nordstrom’, Blandings Castle and Elsewhere; Frozen Assets).

To his credit, he honours craft and talent above everything else – the proficient writer, the adaptable actor, the competent fixer. Again, his target is not wealth per se, but the worship of money as the sole metric of value. When a character is reduced to a “nodder”, whose primary role is to agree with the boss, Plum is presenting to us an organisational pathology that corrodes judgement and humiliates labour (‘The Nodder’, Blandings Castle and Elsewhere).

In no way does his approach differ much from the one he adopts in Psmith in the City (Chapter 21), while introducing us to the concept of a “mistake-clerk” whose duty it is to get squarely blamed when a fuming customer trots in to register a complaint. He is hauled into the presence of the foaming customer, cursed, and sacked. The bank gets a satisfied customer. The mistake-clerk, if the showdown has indeed been traumatic, promptly applies for a jump in his salary.

One might as well consider this to be a notably democratic instinct. Plum sides with people who take pride in their work and who want to be treated as grown-ups. He lampoons gigantic corporate machines, which often treat their most crucial asset – the people – as mere nuts and bolts. His works highlight an ethical respect for the dignity of labour.

Money, Inheritance, and the Comedy of Redistribution

It is amazing to see how often Plum’s plots are driven by inheritances, allowances, trust funds, and the conditions attached to them. In Plumsville, money has high viscosity. It moves, albeit hesitantly. It is socially consequential. It shapes marriages, motivates impostures, and invites moral tests. Fortunes are threatened, allowances are cut, dowries are reconsidered; pearls, pigs, and even French cooks who happen to be “God’s gift to our gastric juices” can function as mobile capital that could reshape relationships. The whole scheme is designed to behave like a comic model of redistribution, orchestrated by Jeeves-like planners who understand how to reallocate resources so that the largest number of people can chug along in their lives with ease.

It is tempting to over-emphasise this. Plum’s interest in money is not economic but only theatrical. His narratives invariably tie money to emotional well-being and social status, thereby demystifying it. Even death becomes a cause for celebration, often conferring wealth and social status upon the inheritors. Money is not portrayed as a demon. It is merely presented as a tool that can be used to produce human flourishing or human misery, depending on the wisdom of those who control it. Thus, he chooses to write about wealth in a deeply mature way. It is sympathetic to a social democratic ethic that treats the economy as a servant of life rather than its master. Perhaps Plum indirectly nudges us to live our lives while remaining somewhat detached from wealth, worldly possessions, titles, fame, and all other trappings of power and pelf – things which are essentially transient in nature.

Of Alliances across the Social Divide  

When it comes to Cupid’s machinations, age, caste, creed, profession, and social status do not really matter. Even time ceases to matter. Love may remain dormant for a long time but can get revived in a moment – much like Psyche getting revived by Cupid’s kiss!

Uncle George’s plans to saunter down the aisle with a girl from the lower middle classes face a serious glitch – that of a stout disapproval from Aunt Agatha. After all, family honour is at stake. She promptly gives a blank cheque to Bertie, who is expected to rally around and pay off the girl to secure a ‘release’ for Uncle George.

The family remembers that years ago, long before this uncle came into the title, he had had a dash at a romantic alliance. The woman in question at that time had been a barmaid at the Criterion. Her name was Maudie. To her went the credit of addressing Uncle George as Piggy. He loved her dearly, but the family would brook no such nonsense. Eventually, she was paid off and the family honour protected.

It transpires that Maudie happens to be the aunt of the girl who appears to have cast a spell over Piggy in the present situation. When Piggy and Maudie come face-to-face after many years, the chemistry between them is found to be intact. Admittedly, time has extracted its toll. Concerns about the lining of the stomach end up acting as a catalyst to bring the two souls together (‘Indian Summer of an Uncle’, Very Good, Jeeves!).

A similar theme unfolds in the matter of Joe Danby and Bertie’s Aunt Julia Mannering-Phipps (‘Extricating Young Gussie’, The Man with Two Left Feet).

Bingo Little depends on his uncle, Mr Mortimer Little, for an allowance, and fears Mr Little will not approve of Bingo marrying a waitress. By way of a solution, Jeeves suggests books by the romance novelist Rosie M. Banks, which portray inter-class marriage as not only possible but noble. Bertie tells Mr Little that Bingo wants to marry a waitress, and Mr Little, moved by the books, approves. When Bertie asks him to raise Bingo’s allowance, however, Mr Little refuses, saying it would not be fair to the woman he soon intends to marry, his cook, Miss Watson (‘No Wedding Bells for Bingo’, The Inimitable Jeeves).

George Bevan’s friend and colleague Billie Dore, a chorus girl, visits Belpher Castle and bonds with Lord Marshmoreton over their shared love of roses. Eventually, Lord Marshmoreton and Billie get married, whereas his daughter, Lady Patricia Maud Marsh, agrees to walk down the aisle with George Bevan (A Damsel in Distress).

In Frozen Assets, Gwendoline Gibbs is secretary to Gerald ‘Jerry’ Shoesmith’s formidable employer, Lord Tilbury, who owns and runs the Mammoth Publishing Company. She saves his employer from many an embarrassing situation, and the two get engaged.

Through all these narratives, Plum goes on to assert the precedence of the emotion of love over such social considerations as one’s socio-economic status in life and the class to which one belongs. Enter Cupid, and class differences simply melt away. A long-forgotten relationship might get revived, with the lining of the stomach playing the role of a catalyst. An alliance could also be formed based on the fulfilment of a basic need. In any case, there is a limit to which a family can attempt to maintain the purity of its so-called blue blood and protect its genealogy. Here again, Plum highlights the importance of embracing the concept of a society built on egalitarian values and norms.

The Village and Its Ethical Ecosystem

Much of Plum’s comedy unfolds in rural or semi-rural settings where custom and negotiation score over sheer coercion. Village fêtes, church halls, conduct of local constables, and family retainers create an ecosystem of mutual respect and recognition. Debts of honour matter. Kindnesses are remembered with gratitude. A spirit of quid pro quo prevails. The law, when it appears, is comically lenient. The wheels of justice do move, though not always along predictable lines.

For instance, in The Girl in Blue, when Chippendale, a butler, gets in trouble with a cop for using his bicycle to teach a girl to ride, his employer refuses to help. Feeling stuck, Chippendale sulks — until Barney Clayborne, a lady he knows, steps in, and pushes the cop into a brook where he usually cools his feet at the end of a day. The cop decides to drop the complaint.

Magistrates, such as the one at the Vinton Street police court (Jeeves and the Feudal Spirit), often portray the less lovable qualities of a senior officer of the Spanish Inquisition. However, considering Bertie’s youth, he shows leniency. Instead of a long stretch in the chokey, he merely slaps a fine of ten pounds for having assaulted an officer of the law and obstructing him in his duties. Justice feels more like restoration than retribution. Problems are solved by dialogue, apology, and by clever offers of mundane incentives, which make life smoother.

Human values prevail. So does the milk of human kindness. A treatment of this kind proves to be a soothing balm for our wounded souls, endearing Plum to all those who come across his narratives.

Characters in Plumsville frequently rely on each other for support and assistance, regardless of their social standing. This theme can be seen as a nod to the idea of collective effort and mutual aid, which are central to the concept of a society which has a conscience that is alive and kicking.

Here again, Plum does not offer a manifesto. Rather, the basic premise is that people have an innate goodness in them, are willing to improve themselves, and that communities can be steered better by humour, patience, and good sense. Plum’s tendency to showcase social life as a web of relationships, not an arena of domination, is deeply compatible with the communitarian strand of the British way of life. It puts a premium on collaboration over competition, preferring reconciliation to victory.

A Stark Difference in Upbringing

Plum says that one of the compensations life offers to those whom it has handled roughly is that they can take a jaundiced view of the petty troubles of the sheltered. He posits that just like beauty, trouble is in the eyes of the beholder. Aline Peters, the daughter of an American millionaire, may not be able to endure with fortitude the loss of even a brooch, whereas Joan Valentine, who is forever struggling to keep the wolf away from her door, must cope with situations which often mean the difference between having just enough to eat or starving. For the reward of a thousand pounds, Joan finds it worth her while to accompany Aline to Blandings Castle as a lady’s maid.

This is Plum’s subtle way of heightening our level of awareness about the contrast between the haves and the have-nots of society. We realise the stark difference between the upbringings of Peters and Valentine. It is not difficult to fathom why their attitudes towards life are distinct (Something Fresh).

A Libertarian Temperament

There is one major caveat. Plum despised sectarianism of any kind. In Roderick Spode, he presents to us the immortal profile of a would-be dictator in black shorts. However, what he presents to us is not an argument for any kind of socialism – whether of a stiff-upper-lip kind or a super-soft version of it. Instead, it is a cautionary message against handing power over to people with swollen heads and shrunken hearts. Instinctively, he distrusts those who consider human beings as personal chattel and follow the use-and-throw practice popularised by the corporate world. If one takes socialism to mean a politics of doctrinal certainty, Plum offers nothing of the kind. His temperament is essentially libertarian. He wishes people to be left alone to grope their way towards their personal vision of happiness. If one rules over them, one does it by being compassionate and by introducing measures and policies which enable them to live more contented lives.

It is easy to see that his fiction aligns more naturally with an egalitarian ecosystem than with a hierarchical one. He lampoons the eccentricities and vulnerabilities of the privileged but celebrates the intelligence and perseverance of workers. He proposes that real satisfaction can be derived in the doing, not the owning.  His narratives paint a world in which social peace is built by courtesy, patience, and practical knowledge, not by authoritative decrees. These are the building blocks of a humane and even-handed society.

His brand of socialism is not so in a doctrinal sense. However, the depiction of his characters and the way they handle challenges coming their way rhymes well with the core ideology.

The Innate Goodness of Homo sapiens

Plum refuses to sneer. Nor is he a champion of the underdogs. Adams, the head steward at the Senior Conservative Club, is quick to identify Lord Emsworth when he comes in for a spot of lunch. Plum paints a positive picture of the man when he says that:

It was Adams’ mission in life to flit to and fro, hauling would-be lunchers to their destinations, as a St. Bernard dog hauls travellers out of Alpine snowdrifts.

Having finished his lunch, Lord Emsworth leaves Adam in a euphoric state of mind. After all, on that day, he had found the Lord in full form when it came to his absent-mindedness. He is imagining the newfound jokes he can narrate to his wife and to the guests that evening while entertaining them at his lair (Something Fresh).

Even his roguish characters are handled with a delicacy that suggests an underlying belief that they have the potential to do better tomorrow. He does not compartmentalise people into categories. He captures detail, cultivates sympathy, and prizes forgiveness. In the end, his comedy’s most persistent message is that people – all sorts of people – can be nudged gently towards right action.

Plum wants us to develop the capacity to laugh at our errors and to imagine our way back into a community of like-minded people.

What Plum is Not

It would be improper and unkind to label Plum as a writer in the same league as, say, George Bernard Shaw or George Orwell. The political economy, the state, or the machinery of welfare do not attract his attention. He is comfortable writing about small groups where affection and ingenuity can solve problems without recourse to law or revolution. Nowhere does he present labour as collective action. Instead, he puts a premium on the agency of gifted individuals. The concluding scenarios in his narratives typically restore the social order, albeit with some improvements. If there is redistribution, it is along ethical lines before it is material: people learn a lesson, they apologise, and they decide to reform themselves.

He is, however, allergic to arrogance and pretension, sensitive to exploitation, and appreciates the dignity of competence wherever it appears. The milk of human kindness courses through the veins of most of his characters. It is surely not socialism in a doctrinal sense, but it resonates well with the core ideology.

Why the Question Matters

Many a time I get asked as to why one should bother about the presence of social consciousness in Plum’s works. I believe that humour is one of culture’s stealthiest instructors. When combined with a dash of wit and wisdom, it softens the rigidity inherent in hierarchies. It also goes on to celebrate the triumph of skill over status. Even before one may argue, it helps readers instinctively realise that a just society is one in which intelligence, patience, and a tendency to help others prevail over swagger and birthright. Here is something profound Plum says about happiness:

As we grow older and realise more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

Like many other truths of life embedded in his narratives, Plum imparts similar lessons effectively. A reader who has learned to appreciate the quiet brilliance of a valet has already taken one step away from worshipping one’s inheritance.

Results for the Greater Good

Such lessons could find a final resonance here for leaders of any persuasion. Plum repeatedly demonstrates that leadership is service delivered to obtain results which are meant not for individual gain but for the greater good. Of course, this involves deep preparation, genuine care for human foibles, and a bias for solutions that allow everyone to save face. If one is looking for a parable of humane, non-authoritarian authority, Jeeves comes through as a prime example. He listens. He observes. His cunning knows no bounds. Using intelligence, tact, and resource, he designs paths through challenging circumstances that leave communities in a happy state of mind. To put it simply, he delivers satisfaction. His character represents a vision that fits well into the gentler aspirations of an ethical society and the broader ideals of a conscious, empathetic, and collaborative civic life.

The undercurrent of social conscience which runs across the oeuvre of Plum is a facet of his works that deserves to be explored and popularised further, to sensitise people to the benefits which could accrue to everyone. In his inimitable style, he gently raises our level of social consciousness. He does so by satirising privilege, showcasing competence as moral capital, demonstrating how a journal could be used as a means to bring about social reform, occasionally flirting with the left, giving us a peek into the world of movie and publishing moguls, presenting to us a comedy of redistribution of wealth, forging alliances between the classes and the masses, delineating the rural ethical ecosystem, and highlighting the stark differences in our attitude towards life based on our upbringing. Such are the hues that comprise the pale parabola of social conscience dished out by him.

Towards a Softer Egalitarianism

One may well ask if Plum has a socialist streak. Not in the sense that would satisfy either a politician or a political scientist. However, when it comes to gut instincts, his comic universe is indeed egalitarian. He dissolves the mystical aura of privilege, redistributes honour to those who earn it, and imagines communities patched together by kindness and craft rather than command. The politics is sotto voce, but the music is audible. If one listens carefully, amid the musical laughter, latent are many a whisper: people matter more than positions, competence outranks pedigree, and the best societies are those in which everyone, whatever their station, is allowed to be intelligently, decently useful.

Call it a social consciousness if you like; call it, perhaps more accurately, either a civilised sense of fairness or a conscious way to live our lives. Either way, the pale parabola is there, peeping through his narratives, much like diffused sunlight descending upon Blandings Castle, gently lighting up its ivied walls, its rolling parks and gardens, its moss-covered Yew Alley, lake, outhouses, its inhabitants, and, of course, the Empress’ den.

Reference

If I Were You — Annotated’, Madame Eulalie: The Annotated P. G. Wodehouse, available at: https://madameulalie.org/annots/pgwbooks/pgwiiwy1.html#socialist

Notes

  1. Inputs from Tony Ring and Neil Midkiff are gratefully acknowledged.
  2. Likewise, support received from Dominique Conterno, Co-founder of Conscious Enterprises Network (https://www.consciousenterprises.net)

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I. The Specimen at Breakfast

It is a truth universally whispered, if not acknowledged, that a man excessively fond of his mother is a developmental hiccup waiting to happen. He may be able to earn a salary, navigate traffic, even discuss the stock market — but the moment he mentions calling his mother, he is mentally filed away under Incomplete Specimen of Homo sapiens. This is especially so if the party of the other part happens to be either his spouse, or a live-in partner, or even a steady girlfriend.

Observe one in his natural habitat: spooning sugar into his morning tea with the precision of a laboratory technician, eyes flicking toward his phone — not for stock alerts or fantasy league scores, but to text “Good morning, Ma.” Evolution, one suspects, took a wrong turn somewhere between the Y chromosome and the apron string.

Society, ever alert to genetic inefficiency, has decided that this man must be mocked into extinction. He represents emotional dependency in an age that prizes self-sufficiency — the last candle in a world that prefers LED.

II. The Crime of Devotion

The modern “Mumma’s Boy” is a walking paradox: sentimental in public, decisive in none of the approved ways. He is not loud enough to be “alpha,” nor cool enough to be “detached.” He apologizes too quickly, remembers anniversaries unprompted, and believes emotions are meant to be acted upon, not merely analysed in therapy. In short, he is guilty of unedited humanity.

The crime, of course, is not affection itself — it is the refusal to outgrow it. Civilization applauds the man who rises above his upbringing, not the one who keeps it alive. The market rewards efficiency, not continuity. Our man, poor fellow, confuses tenderness with duty. He texts his mother daily because he has once lived through the silence that followed a missed call. He obeys her warnings about rain because he still remembers pneumonia from childhood. His obedience, mocked as immaturity, is often just trauma in polite clothes.

III. Society’s Favourite Punchbags

It is not that women despise such fussed-over persons — they simply find him inconvenient. For, how do you compete with someone’s story of origin? The Mumma’s Boy threatens the fragile ecosystem of modern romance: he already belongs to a woman who expects nothing, manipulates rarely, and forgives instinctively. It is not rivalry so much as redundancy.

Men, meanwhile, offer no solidarity. They, too, laugh — loudly — at the one who has not mastered emotional detachment. It is the laughter of the insecure, the sound of men terrified that affection might be contagious. Among themselves, they repeat that chilling corporate proverb of our age: Never mix feelings with efficiency.

And so, the mockery becomes ritual — a collective reassurance that we have evolved past dependence. What we really mean is: We have forgotten how to love without negotiation.

Sometimes it feels like that great trial on screen — twelve angry voices debating one man’s tenderness. The accused sits quietly, guilty of calling his mother, of speaking softly, while the jurors of modern life argue his fate. They call him dependent, unfinished, obsolete. And then Juror Eight raises his head, the lone dissenting conscience, asking what no one wants to: what if gentleness is not weakness but evidence of endurance? The others look away, impatient for a verdict. Empathy, as always, wins no medals — only the comfort of being right too early.

IV. The Concept of Extended Motherhood

The role of the mother does not always remain confined to one’s genetic parent. Motherliness is a sentiment which many other parties could end up showering upon the hapless male in question. It could extend its scope to include obdurate aunts, assorted females, and even valets and butlers who fuss over the object of their affections or masters in a way that could turn their biological mothers green with envy.

Consider Aunt Agatha who is forever keen to see Bertie Wooster getting married and keeping the Wooster dynasty alive and kicking. We also find Emerald Stoker who is one of those soothing, sympathetic girls you can take your troubles to, confident of having your hand held and your head patted. There is a sort of motherliness about her which you find restful. Not to forget the likes of Florence Craye and Vanessa Cook, who wish to raise the level of Bertie’s intellect. Elsewhere, at Deverill Hall, we get introduced to Esmond Haddock, who lives with his five overcritical aunts. They disapprove of his relationship with Corky Potter-Pirbright, because she is an actor.

Social status is no barrier to such strains of motherhood. Lord Marshmoreton must muster all his courage to stand up to his sister, Lady Caroline Byng, and declare a matrimonial alliance with his newly appointed secretary. In Blandings, Lord Emsworth finds it challenging to ignore the instructions of Lady Constance Keeble.

V. The Wodehouse Paradox

If literature had a patron saint for this tribe, it would surely be Bertie Wooster — the eternally well-meaning man who requires Jeeves not to outthink him but to save him from his own kindness. The Wodehouse universe never punishes the sentimental fool; it merely chuckles at him. And yet, who among us would rather live in Jeeves’s world — all logic, all restraint — than Bertie’s, where affection and absurdity coexist like bread and butter?

Jeeves’ is another shining example in the genre of extended motherhood. Just like one’s mother would decide what to wear on a certain occasion, his sartorial choices often conflict with those of his master. Whether it is about a white mess jacket with brass buttons or a pair of socks, the valet’s wish eventually prevails.

Our modern world has no use for Woosters. We have replaced them with algorithmic men — rational, optimized, and barely human. We speak of “emotional intelligence” but what we really mean is emotional management. In a quiet act of rebellion, the Mumma’s Boy continues to feel un-strategically. He loves inconveniently. His sentimentality, far from being regressive, is the only authentic protest left.

Somewhere in his subconscious, he still believes love should precede purpose — a belief that makes him unemployable in the economy of the heart.

VI. A Matter of Chromosomes and Consequences

If one were to approach this anthropologically, one might say the X and Y chromosomes never quite recovered from the moral confusion of modernity. Men were trained to conquer, but not to comfort; to provide, but not to preserve. Our subject — this peculiar holdover from an earlier blueprint — runs on an emotional operating system last updated when people still said ‘touch base’ unironically. Once, during an office migration, he was the only one who refused to upgrade to the new HR portal because his old login still worked—and he trusted that more than promises of “a better interface.” That, in essence, is his problem and his virtue: he sticks to what once kept him safe, even when everyone else has moved to cloud-based feelings. He still believes that obedience to his parent can be a form of strength — a legacy code he sees no reason to rewrite.

He is loyal to the first woman who ever loved him unconditionally, and that loyalty leaks inconveniently into other relationships. But instead of being admired for gratitude, he is censured, condemned, criticised, denounced, lambasted, lampooned, and pilloried for having a regressive outlook.  A culture that venerates mothers in myth, after all, cannot quite stand sons who take the mythology literally. We worship the Mother Goddess with cymbals and incense, but flinch when a man lives by her word. The hymns say, “Matru Devo Bhava,” yet a son who truly believes it — who lets his mother’s advice outweigh his wife’s or boss’s — is dismissed as weak, regressive, or unmanly. In our stories, divine mothers bless their children’s wars and ambitions; in real life, they’re expected to stay politely out of them. The contradiction is cultural theatre — we deify motherhood, but only in the abstract. The moment reverence becomes obedience, the devotee metamorphoses into a punchbag. You see it everywhere — we stage plays about mothers’ sacrifices, post emotional tributes on Mother’s Day, and light lamps to divine matriarchs, yet flinch at the real-world consequences of such devotion. A son who quotes his mother is infantilized; one who disobeys her is applauded for “growing up.” It’s as if society prefers motherhood embalmed in marble, not breathing at the breakfast table. The worship is safe precisely because it’s distant. Up close, it demands humility — a virtue now branded as weakness.

And if that sounds too tragic, literature has always offered more consoling alternatives.

Even Bram Stoker, that cartographer of nightmares, gave the world a family of obedient sons. The Children of the Night in Dracula rise only when summoned, hunt only what their master decrees, and retreat at a single gesture. Strip away the gothic trappings, and they are curiously domestic creatures — well-mannered predators who would never dream of disobeying their guardian. Theirs is not rebellion but perfect filial discipline: a household of nocturnal Mumma’s Boys, loyal to a fault, beautifully house-trained in terror. The feudal spirit prevails.

And then, on a very different plane, comes Arthur Conan Doyle’s The Adventure of the Three Garridebs. When Dr Watson takes a bullet meant for another, Sherlock Holmes — that priest of logic, that marble statue of reason — forgets deduction altogether.

“You’re not hurt, Watson? For God’s sake, say that you are not hurt!”, he cries, tearing open the wound like an anxious mother examining a scraped knee. For one mortifying instant, the cold machine of intellect becomes the warm machinery of care. The great detective, so often accused of heartlessness, turns out to have been hiding a maternal core under his waistcoat. Even Doyle, perhaps without meaning to, admits that the purest love left to civilisation may no longer be romantic or heroic, but quietly maternal in spirit.

VII. The Inconvenient Truth

Here is the inconvenient truth: the Mumma’s Boy is not a moral failure. He is, in fact, society’s unwanted conscience. His instincts are outdated only because ours have calcified. While we train ourselves to love efficiently — in 300-character texts, in time slots between meetings — he still believes affection does not need an agenda. He may never lead revolutions or scale startups, but he will never ghost you either.

His so-called immaturity is often merely a refusal to evolve into emotional automation. After all, unlike in the digital logic-driven world that he inhabits, emotions are challenging to predict based on an algorithm or a mathematical equation. Mock him all you want, but he carries the faint, embarrassing reminder that tenderness used to be fashionable. Those who like him love him enough to let him enjoy the extra space for himself – the segment of his heart which has been lovingly occupied by someone from his childhood days.

So, to borrow from Rocky Todd, let him be!

“Be!
Be!
      The past is dead.
      To-morrow is not born.
  Be to-day!
To-day!
      Be with every nerve,
      With every muscle,
      With every drop of your red blood!
Be!”

VIII. The Last Gentleman

And so, the poor “Mumma’s Boy” trudges on — neither rebel nor saint, just an outdated model of emotional software running in a world obsessed with constant updates. He will continue to be the butt of jokes at brunches, kitty parties, and on social media panels about “modern masculinity.” But here is the twist: when the Wi-Fi of human connection inevitably goes down, it is usually this man — with his unglamorous emotional wiring — who still knows how to reconnect without instruction.

He will still call home, still remember birthdays, still believe that love does not need a disclaimer. Society may keep rewarding the loud and detached, but somewhere, between a performance review and a reminder to buy detergent, he’s the one holding civilisation together with nothing more than a well-intentioned affection and a decent phone plan.

Note:

  1. Inputs from Prodosh Bhattacharya are gratefully acknowledged.
  2. Illustrations courtesy the World Wide Web.

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This is an abridged version of the talk that Peter Nieuwenhuizen, president of the Dutch P. G. Wodehouse Society, gave on 15 March 2024 at Wodehouse at the UK Conference ‘Wodehouse in the Springtime’ in Bath, in which he explained some of the links between the two authors and revealed the truth about an ‘unknown’ plaque.

The author Ian Lancaster Fleming (1908–64) wrote 14 novels about the British MI6 secret agent James Bond, 007. Fleming’s wartime service (he helped plan several naval operations) and his postwar career as a journalist for the Sunday Times provided much of the background for his Bond stories. Fleming, a keen birdwatcher, especially during his sojourns at his holiday home in Jamaica, took the name of his spy hero from that of the ornithologist James Bond, whose book Birds of the West Indies was an indispensable guide for the budding thriller writer. As for the character of 007, the model was said to be master spy Sidney George Reilly (1873–1925).

P. G. Wodehouse also used a familiar name, of course, for one of his most famous fictional creations: the name of Bertie Wooster’s inimitable valet was inspired by professional cricketer Percy Jeeves. In 2016, 100 years after he was killed at the Battle of the Somme, a commemorative blue plaque donated by The Wodehouse Society was installed in Manuel Street, Goole, Yorkshire, where Percy Jeeves lived before he joined Warwickshire County Cricket Club.

Fleming lived in London in the 1930s and was very familiar with the streets and squares of Mayfair that we know from the Wodehouse novels. He visited several of the gentlemen’s clubs, where he might have met Wodehouse, although there is no record of it. Fleming’s home at Belgravia’s 22B Ebury Street was, coincidentally, once the address of Oswald Mosley, leader of the British Union of Fascists, on whom Wodehouse modelled Roderick Spode. There is a blue plaque in Ebury Street commemorating Fleming’s residential connections.

When Fleming sold the film rights to his immensely popular Bond novels in 1961 to EON Productions, he hoped that the lead role might be given to David Niven, but it was given to the “overgrown stuntman” (Fleming’s words!) Sean Connery. However, one of the two Bond films not produced by EON, the 1967 Casino Royale, did cast Niven as 007 – which leads to another Wodehouse link. Niven had previously appeared as Bertie Wooster in the film Thank You, Jeeves! (1936), and as Frederick Altamont Cornwallis Twistleton, fifth Earl of Ickenham, in Uncle Fred Flits By (1955), an episode of the American network television series Four Star Playhouse. So, the Spy and the Gentleman united in one person.

Fleming knew his Wodehouse canon and included a few references to him in his Bond stories. In From Russia with Love (1957), Fleming describes the muscular agent Donovan Grant, a German-Irish psychopath who had defected to Russia and had become the head executioner for SMERSH. Grant, having learned Russian, maintains his knowledge of the English language by reading Wodehouse – in the first chapter, he is reading “The Little Nugget – an old P. G. Wodehouse”. In chapter 13 of The Man with the Golden Gun (1965), Bond is faced with the villain Scaramanga and says to himself “that he must increase the other man’s unawareness, his casual certitude, his lack of caution. He must be the P. G. Wodehouse Englishman, the limey of the cartoons. He must play easy to take.”

Both Fleming and Wodehouse had stories published in Playboy magazine. One issue, April 1965, contained both the first chapter of The Man with the Golden Gun and PGW’s short story ‘Stylish Stouts’, which would be incorporated in the anthology Plum Pie a year later.

Let us turn now to Le Touquet, the French seaside town within easy reach of Paris and close to the south coast of England. In the 1930s, Le Touquet became accessible by air when the local airport was built, and this led to a rise in the popularity of the resort as a holiday location for the well-to-do amongst English society. Fleming, a member of this ‘smart set’, frequented Le Touquet both before and after the war, and in 1952 started writing his first Bond novel, Casino Royale. The eponymous gambling house is based on the Casino de la Fôret in Le Touquet, and the town is mentioned several times in the book. Fleming was based at the Mirrlees family villa, close to the golf course. More on this a little later!

By the time Fleming became a regular visitor to Le Touquet, Wodehouse and his wife, Ethel, had made their home there, having spent many years enjoying a somewhat nomadic life in France, to escape his conflict with the British and American tax authorities. They had spent some time on the Riviera, where their neighbours included H. G. Wells and E. Phillips Oppenheim. They had also tried living in Paris, but Wodehouse had quickly realised that the quieter atmosphere of the coastal resort suited his working life better. Furthermore, there were two good golf courses, plenty of tennis for Leonora on her visits from England, and a local casino that Ethel enjoyed patronising.

Wodehouse had mentioned Le Touquet long before he moved there. In Carry On, Jeeves (1925), the story ‘Clustering Round Young Bingo’ included a sartorial discussion between Bertie and Jeeves, in which the former argued his case thus: “It may interest you to learn that when I was at Le Touquet the Prince of Wales buzzed into the Casino one night with soft silk shirt complete.”

In November 1934, the Wodehouses rented Low Wood, an Anglo-Norman style villa next to the golf course at Le Touquet. The house, and particularly the garden, suited them so well that six months later they bought the property. Here, PGW’s creativity flourished. Having struggled with a lack of plots, he now invented a new character for his stories, Uncle Fred, who made his debut in ‘Uncle Fred Flits By’ (1935). In 1936, Wodehouse wrote Laughing Gas, which was serialised in Pearson’s magazine. The following year he started on a new novel, The Silver Cow, which later transformed into the masterpiece The Code of the Woosters. And Wodehouse then produced Uncle Fred in the Springtime (1939), in which Le Touquet played a role.

After their enforced wartime absence from Low Wood, the Wodehouses returned to inspect the house and found it had been looted and was now in a ruinous state. Renovation was deemed too expensive, and so in 1948 they sold the remains of the villa and emigrated to the USA.

The present owner of Low Wood, Philippe Cotrel, former mayor of Le Touquet, bought the property in 1995, to save it from demolition. The roof and all the windows were renewed or replaced, and an extra wing was added to the house.

The Mirrlees family villa (mentioned earlier) was built in 1936 as a summer residence for Major-General William (‘Reay’) Mirrlees and his second wife, Frances Lalanne, after whom the house was named Villa Les Lambins-Lalanne. Her son from her first marriage took his stepfather’s name and was known as Robin Mirrlees (1925–2012). He led a flamboyant life, during which he became a friend of Fleming and invited him to work in the family villa.

Robin Mirrlees was also a source of information for Norman Murphy, who refers in his A Wodehouse Handbook Vol. 1 (2006) to a Wodehouse plaque in Le Touquet.

Murphy: I am indebted to Robin Mirrlees for the information that, on the back wall of his Villa Lambins-Lalanne, Les Lambins, Avenue de Trepied, Le Touquet, is a black marble plaque to P.G. Wodehouse. The house which, Mr Mirrlees told me, is the only one in Le Touquet still in English hands since before the war, stands next door to the Wodehouse’s villa, and the plaque was erected to commemorate his stay there.

I believe that Murphy never actually saw this plaque himself, and my research suggests that there has been no picture of it published anywhere – until now, that is!

In 2023, I decided to investigate, and after much laborious research I discovered the Mirlees villa to be at a completely different address from the one Murphy referenced: not Avenue de Trepied, but 520 Avenue Allen Stoneham (the same road that gives access to the back garden of Low Wood – now called Low Wood Manor – whose actual address is 1965 Avenue du Golf). I wrote a letter to the owner of the villa, asking for permission to visit. No answer. After a few months my letter came back to The Netherlands, unopened.

On 25th of August 2023, I went to Le Touquet and found Villa Lambins-Lalanne at the newly discovered location. The house looked dilapidated, and there was a sign ‘Attention au chien’ – almost the setting of the Wodehouse story ‘The Level Business Head’, I thought. There was no letterbox at the front of the house, and I presumed any mail was simply stuck in the wooden fence and left there open to all weather conditions or simply not delivered but returned to sender, as mine had been. The unkempt garden contained some rusting metal chairs. The house was clearly empty and appeared to have been uninhabited for many years.

Nevertheless, there it was in the shining sun, I thought – the villa where Ian Fleming started writing his first James Bond novel in 1952!

The stairs to the front entrance of the villa were ankle-deep in leaves and pine needles as, with some trepidation, I approached the door. To my delight, I espied a copper plaque, mounted on a wooden background, that read:

Cette maison fut batie en 1936 par le Général Reay Mirrlees et Madame de La Lanne-Mirrlees pour le plaisir de leurs Amis. Ils y ont reçus des Personnages distingués parmi lesquels les Ecrivains célébres P.G. Wodehouse et Ian Fleming.

(This house was built in 1936 by General Reay Mirrlees and Madame de La Lanne-Mirrlees for the pleasure of their friends. They received distinguished people including the famous writers P.G. Wodehouse and Ian Fleming.)

Wodehouse and Fleming both mentioned on this plaque! There it was – the riddle solved! But was it? Robin Mirrlees mentioned a “black marble plaque” in his report to Norman Murphy. So, I continued my quest.

I entered the wilderness of the backyard, where I was able to take a look at the terrace and the rear of the villa. Rusting sunbeds made me imagine famous authors lounging in the sun, but the whole area still exuded a sad desolation. And then I noticed it – a black marble plaque with the same text as on the copper plaque at the front, in which Wodehouse and Fleming are commemorated together. The golden lettering was clearly legible. I had solved the mystery of the ‘unknown’ plaque – and discovered a duplicate of it as a bonus.

Clearly, Wodehouse must have been a guest at this villa in the 1930s. With the back garden of Low Wood only 100 yards away from the front garden of Villa Les Lambins-Lalanne, he could have reached the path to the villa via a rear exit. When Fleming stayed with the Mirrlees family in 1952, Wodehouse was already living in America, of course, so it seems unlikely that the two authors actually met at Villa Lambins-Lalanne. But at least they are both commemorated for posterity at this location.

It is a pity that the villa is in such a dilapidated state. There are plenty of potential buyers who would like to live near the golf course and cherish these plaques, but the Mirrlees family apparently does not want to sell the villa for the time being, and so it remains in English hands, as Murphy noted.

On the 7th of September 2024, the Dutch P. G. Wodehouse Society, together with The Drones Club of Belgium, honoured Low Wood with a new plaque. So, if you have plans to visit Le Touquet, you will soon be able to admire three plaques commemorating the great P. G. Wodehouse, two of which contain the names of the Spy and the Gentleman.

Notes

  1. This article first appeared in the June 2024 issue of Wooster Sauce, the journal of the P. G. Wodehouse Society (UK).
  2. The author’s consent to publish it here is gratefully acknowledged.

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In one of my earlier posts, I had already confessed that I do not suffer from an affliction which could best be alluded to as Shakespearitis. Given the limited supply of grey cells that nature has bequeathed upon me, I can be held to be a person who has a rather high Pumpkin Quotient. William Shakespeare’s literary outpourings need a much higher level of intellect to be understood and enjoyed. Unfortunately, that I simply do not possess. The stuff he has dished out is meant for brainy coves whose eyes shine with keen intelligence and whose heads bulge at the back, much like Jeeves’.   

However, all this does not necessarily guarantee peace of mind. On the contrary, it makes life even more of a challenge. The brow is invariably furrowed. The heart is leaden with woe. This is so because he is to be found everywhere and is apt to spring surprises at all times, not a very pleasing prospect for a faint-hearted person like me. Surely, the fault lies in my stars.

My last trip to the United Kingdom proved to be no exception. A few days after I had unpacked the proverbial toothbrush, on a fine morning, my genial host had whipped up a sumptuous breakfast. While tucking into it with much gusto, I was feeling on top of the world. But just when you feel that life is a bed of roses, God is in heaven, and all is well with the world, Fate sneaks up from the back. Your Guardian Angel decides to proceed on a vacation. The blow falls, leaving one shaken and stirred.

I was informed that the birthplace of The Bard was just an hour’s drive from the town I was in at the time. The host, grace personified, thought it was his patriotic duty to drive me down to the place. Hiding my trepidation somehow, I consented. Well, one must be civil, you see.

As you like it

The journey to Stratford-upon-Avon was part of the charm. Surrounded by the serene English countryside, the town turned out to be a beautiful blend of cobbled streets, Tudor-style buildings, and winding pathways that echo centuries of history. The drive had the effect of converting my initial hesitation to a reluctant sense of anticipation.

Visiting William Shakespeare’s birthplace in Stratford-upon-Avon proved to be like stepping into a time machine that transports one to the relatively simpler times of the late 16th century. Nestled in the charming market town in Warwickshire, England, the house on Henley Street is a unique time capsule that offers a glimpse into the life of Shakespeare and his family, set against the backdrop of a picturesque Elizabethan town. It is instructive to see how Henley Street has evolved over time.

Despite being armed with a Google app, we had to repeatedly disturb a few locals to ask for directions to the Shakespeare Centre.

The modern visitor centre serves as an introduction to the playwright’s life, works, and the world in which he lived. It offers exhibits, displays of historical artefacts, and multimedia presentations that set the stage for the main attraction. One can see copper plaques devoted to many of his works, besides creative illustrations that connect him to the contemporary world.  

The heaven’s lieutenants

Before we move on to the birthplace itself, a family tree greets us. This is in the fitness of things, because The Bard placed a high premium on families. Some of you may recall this quote of his:

The voice of parents is the voice of gods, for to their children they are heaven’s lieutenants.

I am amazed to find that he was married to a lady by the name of Anne Hathaway; of course, not the Hollywood diva we happen to know since her The Devil wears Prada days!

Home: The place where he could waste his time!

The dwelling is a modest two-story, half-timbered house with a traditional wattle-and-daub construction typical of the Elizabethan era. Its architectural simplicity contrasts with the monumental legacy of the man who was born here in 1564. The house has been carefully preserved and restored to reflect the period as accurately as possible, down to the original furniture styles, wooden floors, and narrow doorways that would have been familiar to Shakespeare. Every corner of the home feels authentic, almost like the Bard himself or his family members might pop up at any moment. (Further details about the place can be found here)

Entering through the main door, visitors walk through the same rooms where young William would have spent his formative years. The ground floor houses a small enclosure where he would have met and entertained visitors. Then comes the main hall where the family would have gathered for meals, with a large hearth and a sturdy wooden table, showcasing how a typical middle-class family of that period lived.

One can readily appreciate how the house served as both a home and a business venue, as Shakespeare’s father, John Shakespeare, was a glove maker and wool dealer. His workspace, along with the tools of his trade, is laid out in one of the rooms, illustrating a connection between commerce and home life in the 16th century.

Upstairs, visitors can see the room traditionally thought to be the room where Shakespeare was born. The tiny window lets in a sliver of daylight, highlighting the simplicity of the furnishings and the room’s plain walls. One can see a tiny cradle where the young one might have had his maiden midsummer night’s dream.  

A literary genius who was born great

Standing in that room, it’s hard to reconcile the humble surroundings with the profound literary genius that Shakespeare would become. But as a guide explains stories from Shakespeare’s early life, you get a sense of the young boy’s curiosity and imagination—qualities that must have been nurtured in this very place. Surely, he was not someone who became great, or upon whom greatness was thrust by his Guardian Angels. Indeed, he was born great.   

The garden outside the house is another lovely feature. To a fan of P G Wodehouse, it sounds like a miniature version of the ones at Blandings Castle. It is filled with plants and flowers that are mentioned in Shakespeare’s plays and sonnets. Walking through, you may recognize some of the herbs and flowers—like rosemary and pansies—from his writings. There is a sense that these natural elements inspired him, giving rise to his poetic descriptions of the natural world.

Understanding the world that shaped him makes it easier to understand how his plays reflected both the universality of human nature and the specific issues of his time.

To be or not to be

As the visit ends, scales have already fallen from one’s eyes. To be or not to be a fan of the Bard is a question which leaves one baffled, bewildered, confounded, confused, disconcerted, flummoxed, mystified, perplexed, and puzzled. In any case, one leaves with a newfound appreciation for the humble origins of William Shakespeare. His birthplace, though small and unpretentious, radiates with the legacy of a man whose works have shaped literature and drama worldwide and who is revered for his unique contributions to the Queen’s language. I am sure that he must have enriched the language in a manner that might be vaster and deeper than those who have either preceded or succeeded him. But lesser mortals like me, surely at the bottom of the English Proficiency Pyramid, are apt to feel very dense while endeavouring to devour any of his works.

However, for literary coves and linguistic purists, Stratford-upon-Avon remains a pilgrimage site, a place that celebrates not just Shakespeare’s legacy but also the power of words and stories to transcend time and space.

P G Wodehouse was one of those who held the Bard in high esteem. He once said: “Shakespeare’s stuff is different from mine, but that is not to say that it is inferior.” His frequent use of Shakespearean phrases in his stories and books merely attests to the same. Those of you who wish to explore this subject further may find this link useful.

All is well that ends well

Visiting the birthplace of William Shakespeare is more than a historical tour; it’s a journey through the formative environment of a literary legend. It provides a tangible sense of where the world’s most celebrated playwright came from and reminds visitors of the timeless influence of Shakespeare’s words, which continue to resonate across the ages.

Note: Thanks are due to Dominique Conterno, my host in the UK, who enabled this visit.

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P.G. Wodehouse, an Englishman who eventually settled in America, wrote novels set in a charming, idealized version of England—a place that, while fictional, captures a timeless allure. His stories are peopled with endearing characters: affluent young men with time and money to spare, formidable aunts, eccentric American millionaires, temperamental French chefs, and the ever-resourceful Jeeves, alongside the delightful The Empress of Blandings, the apple of the eye of absent-minded Lord Emsworth.

At first glance, Wodehouse’s plots might seem repetitive. However, much like Bach’s intricate counterpoints and fugues or the variations in a jazz improvisation or Carnatic Kalpana swaras, Wodehouse’s stories are masterful variations on simple themes. Their charm lies in their subtlety and simplicity, creating a captivating experience that speaks to readers across different backgrounds.

How do his novels set in 1920s English country houses resonate universally? Let’s explore the reasons behind their widespread appeal.

Most of us harbor a certain resentment towards authority. Whether dealing with bossy relatives, stern headmasters, or demanding bosses, we often yearn for the chance to rebel against those who impose their will upon us. Wodehouse’s humor, which targets pompous magistrates, domineering aunts, and cigar-smoking tycoons, provides a delightful escape. His satirical treatment of such figures allows us to revel in their ridiculousness and momentarily escape the constraints of authority.

The Drones Club members, epitomized by the charmingly clueless Bertie Wooster, live lives of leisure—an existence many of us can only dream of. While we may outwardly dismiss the idle rich, there’s often a hidden envy for their carefree existence, so different from our own routines. Although our work may have its moments of interest, it often involves mundane tasks and repetitive duties.

Wodehouse’s protagonists are not heroic supermen but rather ordinary young men with sunny dispositions. Unlike the Casanova on steroids James Bond or the suave Saint, his characters are more relatable: shy eccentrics like Gussie Fink-Nottle, small-time fixers like Ukridge, and domineering domestic servants like McAllister. In my own life, I have encountered people reminiscent of these characters, yet I have never met anyone resembling a James Bond. Wodehouse’s characters, though exaggerated, embody qualities found universally.

Occasional mavericks like Piccadilly Jim or the irrepressible Psmith add to the charm of Wodehouse’s world. Who can resist Psmith’s nonchalant umbrella appropriation on a rainy day? These mildly caricatured individuals are both believable and endearing, whether in Knightsbridge or Kolkata.

Finally, Wodehouse’s prose is irresistible. His ability to seamlessly integrate quotes from Latin and Greek classics, the Bible, and Shakespeare into whimsical situations demonstrates his linguistic brilliance. His writing flows with a natural, effortless grace reminiscent of Beethoven’s serene and evocative second movement of the Pastoral Symphony.

As someone from Coimbatore, a small city in southern India, I first encountered Wodehouse’s novels in my teens, beginning with Piccadilly Jim. The charm and wit of his writing enchanted me then, and seventy years later, my admiration remains as strong as ever.

Wodehouse’s work transcends borders and cultures—he belongs to the world.

(Captain Mohan Ram, ex Naval designer, eventually moved to the automobile industry where, if one may hazard a guess, he might have been designing some amphibian vehicles. His career trajectory followed the Peter’s Principle. He rose to senior positions, until finally retiring recently at the age of eighty four. He is currently cooling his heels, writing inane posts on Facebook.

His permission to reproduce this piece here is gratefully acknowledged.)

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It was a splendid night that would have made even Jeeves put on his dancing shoes. I was decked out in my finest outfit, ready to make a grand spectacle of myself. It was Navaratri, or as we Bengalis call it, Mahanavami. A time of joy, abundance, and piety. Unlike the Scots, who celebrate the autumn season with kilts and bagpipes, we in India observe it with a spiritual and cultural extravaganza. The festival of Mahanavami is a time for revelry, worship, and artistic expression.

Ah, what an evening it was! We Bengalis, being people of culture and taste, celebrate Navaratri with a tradition called “pandal hopping.” We erect temporary temples – pandals – all over the city, and people go from pandal to pandal, offering prayers and admiring the artwork. And let me tell you, my fellow readers, the artwork is simply something to die for.

The best part of pandal hopping, of course, is the company. I was with a group of seven friends, and a wizened elder to keep us on the straight and narrow. We were all in the ninth grade then, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, excited to explore the city and its many pandals. We did not have a care in the world. A rather reckless mood prevailed, much like that of Bertie Wooster and his pals on the night of the Boat Race night.

All of us were merrily going from one pandal to the next, wonderstruck at the kind of magnificent sculptures of the mighty Goddess on display and taking in the finery worn by the bhadra lok. Wherever the gaze went, one could spot the glittering jewellery put on by the members of the tribe of the so-called delicately nurtured, duly draped in that six-meter enigmatic wonder called saris, that too of a mind- boggling variety, like Baluchari, Gorod, Murshidabad silk, Tusser, Tangail, and Tant.

As and when our wizened elder was looking elsewhere, our eyes would invariably get busy casting some furtive glances at the many giggling and merry-making girls who happened to be in the immediate vicinity. After all, at such a tender age as that of ours then, who could miss a chance to indulge in what is euphemistically alluded to as birdwatching? 

However, my sense of wonder was brief as I realized after a couple of pandal hops that I was separated from my comrades. It was like a scene from the Odyssey, where the protagonist finds himself lost in a strange and unfamiliar land. It was as if I’d been spirited away to a strange, unknown land in the blink of an eye. Meanwhile, the other musketeers accompanying me were nowhere to be seen. Allow me to remind you that we lived in simpler times then. Internet had not been heard of. Mobile phones were yet to arrive on the scene.  

Now, most people in this situation might have panicked or given up hope entirely. But not me. We, the Dattas, are made of sterner stuff. Seldom do we panic or despair. Howsoever challenging the circumstances, we believe in maintaining sang froid.  We possess a chin up attitude. We are a spiritually enlightened lot. We believe in acceptance and surrender. I confess that unlike Bertie Wooster, I never won a prize in Scripture Knowledge while being at school. I simply accepted that I was lost, surrendered myself to a higher power, as it were, and that was that.

You see, there are two types of people in the world: one, those who search for lost things, and two, those who let lost things be. I fell into the latter category, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. What I needed was a little motivation to keep moving forward, even if it meant moving alone.

And so I found my motivation: food. I stumbled upon a shop and, being the intense budgeteer that I am, found I could only afford a bottle of Coke. I paid the restaurant owner and left, content with my meagre rations.

But oh, dear readers, what happened next was truly the stuff of legends. As I quaffed my Coke, I noticed a bus moving towards my destination at a pace slower than that of a funeral procession. It does not require one to be a Sherlock Holmes to realize what my next steps were, but dear readers, just to get the facts clear, I would like to inform that I first checked my pockets to ensure that I had sufficient funds for the ride. After all, one does not wish to deprive the government of the day of some revenue. Boarding the rickety bus which was bursting at the seams with people of all sizes and shapes was then the work of a moment. The ride was less comfortable than the milk train ride undertaken by Bertie Wooster to intercept a letter before it got delivered to Madeline Bassett, but I finally reached my destination on time and avoided the raised eyebrows of my parents. Soon, I had a sumptuous dinner prepared by my mom followed by a good night’s what-you-call-an-activity-that- knits-up-the-raven-sleeve-of-care. It had been a long day, after all.

But the real story unfolded the next day, my dear readers. As I sat at home, basking in the glow of my achieved objectives, and sipping from a cup of aromatic Darjeeling tea, my friends arrived, with a sheepish looking wizened elder in tow. They were all in a tizzy, recounting their spine-chilling ordeal of trying to locate me in the jostling crowds from the night before. The sudden disappearance of yours truly from amongst their midst had left them shaken up from the base of their toes to the top of their heads. You know what I mean. They were all baffled, bewildered, confounded, confused, fazed, flummoxed, mystified, puzzled, and stumped. The hair-raising mystery of my disappearance from their midst had led to sleepless nights for most of them. 

‘The august guardian’, having circumnavigated the sun some twenty-two times till then, appeared to have aged considerably overnight, what with the emergence of dark halos beneath his ocular organs. It did not require the supreme intelligence of a Reginald Jeeves to figure out that his soul had been in torment, primarily owing to the thoughts of facing the firing squad waiting at home to pounce upon him for dereliction of duty. He was tongue-tied, reminding one of Bertie Wooster being presented to Sir Watkyn Bassett in a court of law. His relief, upon being told that I had made it back home in one piece relieved him instantly. His brow ceased to be furrowed. His visage soon adorned a toothsome grin. He perked up like a flower which had just been watered after a gap of few days.

Indeed, the way they went about trying to trace me and the related incidents narrated by my friends invoked a feeling of being a part of an ‘edge of the seat thriller’ amongst all of us, even though I or my parents were not a part of it.

By Jove, the account of my chums’ efforts to trace my whereabouts was nothing short of a gripping thriller! Their narrative of the numerous challenges they encountered during the hunt kept us all on tenterhooks. Sure enough, their skills of narration were no match to the sparkling way Mr. Mulliner would recount the experiences of his nephews and nieces to his companions at the Angler’s Rest. But while my sister acted like the erudite Miss Postlethwaite, ensuring a steady supply of piping hot tea to all those assembled, we listened in rapt attention to the trials and tribulations of my friends when I went missing from amongst their midst. Apparently, they even sought the help of a rozzer to locate me. Unfortunately, he was busy taking his own family around the multitudes of the pandals so all they earned was a stern rebuke for distracting him from his familial ‘duties’. Although my parents and I were absent at the time, we felt like active participants in the dramatic turn of events!

I believe that the festival of Mahanavami is a wonderful reminder that culture and tradition can bring people together, even during difficult times. It is a time for us to celebrate our shared heritage, enrich our spiritual leanings, enjoy the fruits of artistic expression, and gorge on the delicacies on offer. And it is a time for us to remember that even when we feel lost or alone, there is always a way forward with a little bit of humour and ingenuity. Above all, festivals happen to be subtle reminders of the values that we cherish the most – values of togetherness, caring, compassion, and empathy. 

So, there you have it, my dear readers. A night to remember, a tale of adventure, and a bottle of Coke to make it all possible.

How’s that for a slice of life in Bengal?!

(Illustrations courtesy Suryamouli Datta)  

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When someone of the calibre of Arunabha Sengupta decides to wield his pen (oops….keyboard!) and dishes out something Plummy, die-hard fans of the Master Wordsmith of our times rejoice. The sceptics make feeble attempts to punch holes in the arguments put forth. The fence-sitters suddenly realize that there is more to Plum than meets the intellectual eye.

The rest of humanity, comprising those who remain not-so-blissfully unaware of the blissful works of P G Wodehouse, continues to trudge through life, sans the succour which low-hanging fruits of eternal wisdom offer on the streets of Plumsville.

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(Inspired by parts of Right Ho, Jeeves, The Code of the Woosters, and Clustering Around Young Bingo)

I had barely crossed the threshold of the dining room when I perceived Aunt Dahlia at the table, morosely tucking into salmon mayonnaise.

Being a keen observer, I could make out that she was in a sorrowful mood. A pall of despondency hung over her. It was as if she had been handed out a harsh sentence of thirty days without the option by a stern-looking beak.

She gave me a sharp look of the kind a person gulping down her last bit of coffee would give to a dead beetle at the bottom of her cup. She sighed and waved a depressed fork at me.

‘Hullo, Bertie, howsoever sad the circumstances, I thought I would never find you far away from the food. Try some of this salmon.’

‘Anatole’s?’ I queried.

‘No. I do not know why he has suddenly gone AWOL. Missing in action since the past two weeks, leaving all of us twiddling our thumbs. Poor Thomas, his digestion has already gone for a toss. I was so desperate to touch him for some vitamin M for Milady’s Boudoir. But I have had to put that proposal on hold.’

Well, Uncle Thomas, when his gastric juices have been giving him the elbow, is not his genial and benevolent self. To touch him for some funds then would be akin to waking a lion from its slumber.

‘Somehow, the new kitchen maid has struck an inspired streak. It suddenly seems to have come home to her that she isn’t catering for a covey of buzzards in the Sahara Desert, and she has put out something quite fit for human consumption.’

‘You never know with these temperamental French cooks,’ I chipped in on a sympathetic note, while mouthing a forkful of the salmon on offer.

‘Of late, he did seem a bit moody. Luckily, he left at a time when the new kitchen maid was just about to arrive. We are somehow…’

She broke off. The door had opened, and we were plus a butler.

‘Hullo, Seppings,’ said Aunt Dahlia. ‘Was there something you wanted to see me about?’

‘Yes, madam. It is with reference to Monsieur Anatole. He is on a video call on your laptop. He is desirous of having a word with you.’

‘Yoicks! Tally Ho!!’, she exclaimed excitedly. 

I had never suspected her of being capable of the magnificent burst of speed which she now displayed. She rose like a rocketing pheasant and was out of her seat and the room making for the instrument which was bracing itself for an acrimonious exchange of views between a hunting field expert and the typical Queen’s language laced with liberal doses of French which the God’s gift to our gastric juices deployed. And feeling that my place was by her side, I put down my plate and hastened after her, Seppings following at a loping gallop.

‘Hello, hello…’

Anatole’s round face popped up on the screen and one could discern a noisy air-conditioner growling in the background.  

‘Where are you calling from?’, Aunt Dahlia bellowed.

‘From India, Ma’am’.

‘What? India? What made you go to that God forsaken country?’

Sacre bleue! This is one pretty place – I am in Pondicherry, of which Madame is aware, I doubt myself.’

‘Pondicherry? Where the hell is that?’

‘Name of a dog, Madame! You don’t say! You are not serious! You haven’t heard of Pondicherry? It was a French colony years before.’

‘What are you doing there?’

‘I am ze most famous chef, Madame – know this! Even ze Indians know me. Several hotels here gave me jobs on ze platter.’

There was one of those long silences. Pregnant, I believe, is what they’re generally called. Aunt looked at butler. Butler looked at aunt. I looked at both of them. An eerie stillness seemed to envelop the room like a bubble pack for a silver cow creamer in transit.

‘But how can you leave us suddenly? It would have been nice if you could have at least told us about your plans,’ she said with as much politeness as she could muster. I couldn’t have believed that her robust voice could sink to such an absolute coo. More like a turtle dove calling to its mate than anything else.

Je suis vraiment désolé, Madame .’

‘It’s quite all right. What are you doing there?’

‘Listen. Make some attention a little. I bring my recipes. I add many new French dishes for a premier hotel here.’

‘New dishes? Introducing French cuisine for some hotel?’

Anatole perked up a bit. His soup-strainer kind of a moustache was quivering a bit. Like an artist’s who is showing his first ever painting to a connoisseur of art.

‘They already have places where you can find pastries and breads like the French baguette, croissants, pains au chocolat, pains aux amandes, macarons, crèmes caramel, etc. You pay little attention? I tell what I introduce here.’

‘Sure, I will, Monsieur Anatole, I will,’ cooed the aged relative. 

He then went on to rattle off several of his culinary achievements.

‘I introduce ze Boeuf bourguignon, Steak-frites, Poulet rôti, Ratatouille, Soupe à l’oignon, Bouillabaisse, Croque-Monsieur, Croque-Madame, Crêpe, Quiche Lorraine, to say a few. And, of course, many of which they never hear before, like Veloute auxfleurs de courgette, Consomme aux Pommes d’Amour, Sylphides a la Cremes d’ecrivesses, Mignonette de poulet Petit Duc, Pointes d’asperges a la Mistinguette, Supreme de foie gras au champagne, Neige aux Perles des Alpes, Timbale de ris de veau Toulousaine, Salade d’endive et de celery, Le Plum Pudding, L’Etoile au Berger, Bombe Nero, Friandises, and Diablotins.

Of course, all this made me drool like never before. I imagined the lavish spread Aunt Dahlia and I had discussed while we were at Totleigh Towers quite some time back. I had then graciously offered to undergo thirty days in the second division in lieu of Anatole’s services being transferred to Pop Bassett. Luckily, I had been dismissed without a stain on my character.

I went weak in my knees, imagining putting down the hatch some of the delicacies mentioned by him.

The irony of the situation also hit me hard. God’s gift to our gastric juices whisked off by a Third World country from right under our noses. The wizard of the cooking stove cocking a snook at us? My sister in Calcutta once did mention to me that this century belonged to countries like India and China, but I never took her seriously. If all our valets, butlers, chefs, and parlourmaids decided to migrate to one of the emerging economies, what would the harvest be? The British upper classes will be left behind twiddling their thumbs trying to figure out how to lead their lives. God save the Empire was the thought which I was ruminating upon, while Aunt Dahlia came direct to the nub of the matter.

‘That sounds great. When do you think we could sample these dishes here at Brinkley Manor?’

‘All in time desired. For the instant, I am content here. It is the beautiful life here. They give me big house with glass pyramid on top. I have a car with an Indian chauffeur. The beach is at distance of march from my house. It is just like Côte d’Azur. It is a place to make dream.’

‘You must be exaggerating – surely the place can’t be as beautiful as Brighton?’

‘Au contraire, Madame! There is a beautiful promenade with a tall statue of an old man walking with a stick in hand – Gandhi is his name, I think. Listen and take note – full moon evenings are magnifique here. You should make one visit here. In the evenings, lovely demoiselles in silk dress with gold jewels and fleurs de jasmin in their lustrous hair come for walk. Good heavens, do I give them company? You bet your last dime no. Hélas, I am too busy with my work. Me, I am French – work is sacré for me.’

‘Oh, so you are quite comfortable there, are you?’

‘Eh bien oui, Madame. I have a lady colleague – she teach me many South Indian dishes with strange names: dosa, idli, sambhar, rasam, vadai…Cest incroyable – they have amazing variety of plates in India. Like what, to each county her cuisine.’

‘The perfect life, eh, Anatole?’

‘I take some rough with some smooth, Madame. Behold and lo, in each man’s life, some rain must fall. The weather is hot and humid here. Often, intolerable. However, late afternoon onwards, sea breeze starts blowing in, bringing some comfort. Also, the place has very many people. A noisy city.’    

When it comes to milk of human kindness, there are indeed times when Aunt Dahlia’s kindly overtures do leave me, as Roget would put it, amazed, astonished, astounded, blown-away, dumbfounded, flabbergasted, jolted, and rendered speechless.

‘Is there anything you need from here?’

‘Kind of you to ask, Madame. Le soleil ici est très dur. Could you manage to send across one of my favourite chapeaux? Seppings can find one in my room. I shall let him know the address and the care taker’s phone number which he may need.’

‘Monsieur Anatole, thy will shall be done.’

While leaving, Aunt Dahlia cast a venomous look at the laptop, much like an Indian resident would eye a cobra, had she found it nestling in her bathtub. Seppings took over the dialogue, as we retired to the dining room. The pall of gloom had deepened considerably. My aged relative was fanning herself with a reproachful fork. She appeared to have aged a lot.

‘What do we do now?’, she looked at me enquiringly.

Before I could respond, there was a sound in the background like a distant sheep coughing gently on a mountainside. Jeeves had materialized, much like an Indian fakir.

‘Jeeves, do you know of the calamity that has befallen us?’, I asked.

‘Perhaps you allude to the prolonged absence of Monsieur Anatole from our midst, sir?’, he responded, unflappable as ever.

Tetigisti nub materiae, Jeeves. What do you suggest?’

Aunt Dahlia gave him a reverential look, pleading with her mute eyes.

‘Allow me some time to give the matter some thought, sir.’

‘Sure, Jeeves. Have as much fish as you need. A crisis has arisen in the affairs of Brinkley Manor. We need to come to the aid of the party.’

‘Indeed, sir,’ he bowed respectfully and withdrew.

Life at Aunt Dahlia’s lair would have become a tad boring had it not been for the sudden arrival of my cousin Angela from one of her trips to Cannes. We spent a good deal of time together in the open spaces, she lampooning Tuppy Glossop’s conduct at Cannes in no uncertain terms, while all I had to do was to make sympathetic noises in the interim.

Funny thing, talking to females, if you know what I mean. You need to utter only one sentence, switch over to a silent mode, and start thinking some beautiful thoughts of your own. You merely hear the party of the other part, without necessarily listening to it blowing off steam on whatever issue happens to be tormenting it at the time. More of a monologue kind of a thing. Bringing anything sideways into the so-called dialogue is as perilous as offering a juicy lamb sandwich to an enraged tigress.  

Meanwhile, Aunt Dahlia went about her daily routine in a listless, morose, and disgruntled manner. Uncle Tom kept complaining about the lining of his stomach registering frequent protests of a rather strong kind.

But the mood of our Guardian Angels suddenly turned benign. A miracle of sorts happened on the sixth day. A taxi pulled up, and, lo and behold, Anatole was amongst us! Back home. Duly tanned and dulled, possibly by the excessive heat and humidity braved by him while at Pondicherry. There were dark circles below the eyes. The moustache was drooping, Sure enough, his soul was bruised.

When told of the return of the prodigal chef, Aunt Dahlia perked up like a member of the canine species being offered a fish slice.  However, one glance at Anatole’s visage led her to steady herself against the sideboard. She spoke in a low, husky voice:

‘Are you fine, Monsieur Anatole?’

‘I do not think so, Madame.’

‘Why? What happened?’

‘I told you I was put up in a house with a glass pyramid on top.’

‘Oh, kind of a skylight?’

‘Yes. Honest to God, I liked it a lot. I used to look up at it and take in the moonlight sipping my post-dinner port.’

‘So, what went wrong?’

‘One night, I saw someone making faces at me through the glass pyramid.’

‘You mean someone was sitting on the roof?’

‘Oh là-là. You can say that. There was a walkway around the pyramid. This horrible man was standing on it, I guess. And I say, this is not true – jolly well no. But he kept staring at me making some faces. His eyes were bulging, and his mouth was open and tongue sticking out. Did it upset me? By Jove, you bet it upset me like anything. He looked like some rare fish in an aquarium.’

I must say that he had the complete attention and sympathies of the audience. Review the facts, I mean to say. There he had been, relishing his late-night snifter, thinking idly of whatever French cooks do think about when in an easy chair, hoping to look at the moon, and suddenly becoming aware of a frightful face menacingly peering at them. A thing to jar the sturdiest soul.

While I stood musing thus, Aunt Dahlia, in her practical way, was coming straight to the point:

‘When did this happen?’

Anatole did a sort of Swedish exercise, starting at the base of the spine, carrying on through the shoulder-blades and finishing up among the back hair.

‘Just two days after I spoke to you. Me, I am about to hit the hay, and presently I look up, and there is one who make faces against me through the dashed glass pyramid. Was that a pretty affair? Was that convenient? If you think I like it, you jolly well mistake yourself. I was so mad as a wet hen. And why not? I was an honoured guest there, isn’t it? I was at the place given to me, what-what, not a house for some apes? Then for what do blighters peer at me so cool as a few cucumbers, making some faces?’

‘Must have been very upsetting,’ said Aunt Dahlia.

Anatole clutched his drooping moustache and gave it a tug.

‘Wait yet a little. I am not finish. I say I see this type on the glass pyramid on top of the house, making a few faces. But what then? Does he buzz off when I shout a cry, and leave me peaceable? Not on your life. He remained planted there, not giving any damns, and stood regarding me like a cat watching a duck. Was this amusing for me? You think I liked it? I am not content with such folly. I think the poor mutt’s loony. Je me fiche de ce type infect. C’est idiot de faire comme ça l’oiseau… Allez-vous-en, louffier….’

‘Did you not complain to your hosts?’

Immédiatement. They said it is all right – they will check in the morning. What a heap of trash – blistering barnacles – I am like some cat on hot bricks – and they say it is all right. Forsooth!”

Aunt Dahlia laid a quivering hand on his shoulder.

‘That was very inhospitable on their part, I say. You must be shaken.’

‘All right? Nom d’un nom d’un nom! The hell they say it’s all right! Of what use to pull stuff like that? Wait one half-moment. Not yet quite so quick, my old sport. It is by no means all right. See yet again a little. It is some very different dishes of fish. I can take a few smooths with a rough, it is true, but I do not find it agreeable when one play larks against me on my windows. That cannot do. A nice thing, no. I am a serious man. If such rannygazoo is to arrive, I do not remain any longer in that house no more. I buzz off and do not stay planted.’

‘Of course. Those crazy loons!’, cried Aunt Dahlia, in that ringing voice of hers which had once caused nervous members of the Quorn to lose stirrups and take tosses from the saddle.

‘I tell them to make an immediate return booking. I collect all moneys due to me. Then I buzz off from that wretched place.’

‘You did the right thing’, cooed the aged relative. ‘I thought Indians believed in the principle that a guest is like God. What is the expression I am looking for, Jeeves?’

‘Perhaps you allude to a phrase in Sanskrit, Ma’am. Atithi devo bhavah.’

But Anatole went on, uttering such words as ‘marmiton de Domange’, ‘pignouf’, ‘hurluberlu’, and ‘roustisseur’. Lost on me, of course, because, though I sweated a bit at the Gallic language during my last Cannes visit, I’m still more or less an illiterate in that means of communication. I regretted this, for these words somehow sounded juicy.

Frenchmen are surely made of sterner stuff. Pretty soon, Anatole had regained his composure and got back to displaying his proficiency at the cooking stove, surpassing himself.

I am not a man who speaks hastily in these matters. I weigh my words. And I say again that Anatole had surpassed himself. The exotic fare dished out by him revived Uncle Thomas like a watered flower.

As we sat down to a sumptuous dinner, he was saying some things about the Government which they wouldn’t have cared to hear. With the soupe à l’oignon, he said but what could you expect nowadays? With the boeuf bourguignonde, he admitted rather decently that the Government couldn’t be held responsible for the rotten weather, anyway. And shortly after the quiche Lorraine, he was practically giving the lads the benefit of his whole-hearted support.

The dining table was yet again a lively place. Light-hearted family banter had once again become the norm. Aunt Dahlia was back to being a suave and genial host, presiding over the dinner-table on most nights. Often, the conversation in the group touched a high level and feasts of Reason and flows of Soul occurred. Angela and Tuppy had buried their hatchet and were no longer arguing whether a shark had indeed bitten Angela while she was swimming at Cannes. 

In other words, love and domestic peace had regained its throne. Flowers were in full bloom. Birds were twittering merrily. God was in heaven, and all was well at Brinkley Manor.

A day dawned when Jeeves and I were getting ready to drive back to the city. There was something troubling me within and I thought it fit to mention it to Jeeves.

‘Jeeves, I say, rummy all this, what? I mean Anatole popping back so very soon?’

‘Indeed sir. Most gratifying.’

‘Well, I suspect you had played some role there.’

‘Kind of you to say so, sir. I was somewhat baffled for a while, I must confess, sir. Then I was materially assisted by a fortunate opportunity that came up and I merely seized it.’

‘What opportunity?’

‘You may recall that some time back, Monsieur Anatole was very upset when Gussie Fink Nottle had made faces at him through the skylight of his bedroom.’

‘Yes. A chapter in the annals of Brinkley Manor which is not easy to forget.’

‘Since Anatole had given the contact particulars of the caretaker in Pondicherry to Seppings, it was not difficult for me to reach out to him. I explained the state of affairs at this end and he kindly accepted to help us out. He hired someone local to go on top of the house and deliver the goods, so to say, sir.’

‘Jeeves,’ I said, ‘this is genius of a high order.’

‘It is very good of you to say so, sir.’

‘What did Aunt Dahlia say about it?’

‘Details are not known to her, but she appeared gratified at the outcome, sir.’

‘To go into sordid figures, did she—’

‘Yes, sir. Two hundred pounds.’

‘Uncle Thomas?’

‘Yes, sir. He also behaved most handsomely, quite independently of Mrs Travers. Another two hundred and fifty pounds.

‘Good Lord, Jeeves! You’ve been coining the stuff!’

‘But, sir, I confess I owe one hundred pounds to the caretaker of the house where Anatole was staying while in Pondicherry.’

I gaped at the fellow.

‘Oh, for the services rendered?’

‘Indeed sir. There are no free lunches in life, as those across the pond say, sir.’

‘Well, I would hate to see you incurring a cost of that magnitude for benefitting a beloved aunt of mine. I suppose I had better pitch in and support you on that count.’

‘Why, thank you, sir. This is extremely generous of you.’

Notes:

  1. Inputs from Anand Pakiam, C G Suresh, Dominique Conterno, and Chakravarti Madhusudana are gratefully acknowledged.
  2. Illustration of Anatole courtesy Shalini Bhatia.
  3. Photo of beach road courtesy Sanjay Mohan.

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